Hey There Hollywood - Prologue:Running With The Light
"Go and find your own way. Hey! Don't turn around. Is there anything left to believe in? Go and find your own way. Hey! Get out of this town." - A Skylit Drive.
In despair. Frightened. Cold.
Those are the words I use to describe how I felt, when I read that letter. His letter. His final goodbye to me.
Every word in that damn letter; it plucked away at my heart. It made cold sweat rise up to the surface of my skin, and it iced my internal organs - along with everything else inside my body. The more I got closer to the closing, the more it felt like gravity pushed itself down on me. No matter how hard I tried to rip my eyes away from that wrinkled paper, I just couldn't. I couldn't at all. I was frozen, just like an ice sculpture. Heavy and unable to move.
You brought this on my head. It's calling me. You sent me to my death. I figured out why you can look into my lies but never, you could never turn back all the clocks to take back what you did to me.
Those words made my heart feel like it was shot with a million needles at once.
An infinite control shoots my body away from the soul, and now you see how I feel. You've been down this road too many times, all the streets run together.
After that line, my eyes snapped away from the paper in my hands.
"This can't be real." I cried aloud to myself, as I stood there in the middle of my room with tears forcing their way out of my shut eyes. What exactly happened after that, I cannot remember. It all became a blur. Running out the door. Running past the shops on Sunset Boulevard. Running through the maze of houses; making my way to Max. It was a long run, but my mind was too far gone to notice. The only thing that passed through my mind, was how I needed to get to him.
But by the time I got there, the ambulance was pulling him away. Blue and red flashed all around the dark neighborhood, while the angels of the city cried. I was drenched in their tears, and mine mixed with theirs. Even though I knew in the very back of my mind that it was no use, I ran after the ambulance. I had to get to him. I just had to. I couldn't let him go. If I did, I'd be letting her down.
No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't reach him. There was a huge distance between us, and eventually I was just following the sound of the sirens. A few minutes into the chase, I felt myself crash into the rugged street. It felt like I landed face first into a sharp, jagged, iceberg. Not too long after, I drifted away into complete darkness.
I was trapped under a dark fog. Barely able to make out my surroundings. I could faintly feel the hands of someone rushing me somewhere. It was a struggle for that person; I'm sure of it 'cause I felt the unsteadiness in that person's fragile arms. The uncontrollable vibrations in his or her bones. But I couldn't open my eyes to see who it was. My eyes remained shut by little unknown forces. No matter how hard I tried to break through the dark barrier, they wouldn't even budge. Eventually, I was engulfed in black waters. Far, far away from reality.
White. Blinding white. Am I in heaven? My thoughts are groggy. It's a struggle to open my eyes, but I do it very slowly. The first thing I lay my eyes on is a white tiled ceiling. Where am I? A vague fog floats above me, but I know it's just my eyes playing tricks on me. I sniff the air around me, and I get a huge whiff of cleaning supplies. Sick. No way is this heaven. The vague fog I once saw, vanishes. Suddenly, the sounds of my surroundings catch my attention and I finally knew where I was at. This was where all my nightmares led to. Wait a minute. How did I get here? I turn my head to the right and see a man standing with a woman, unaware of my awakening.
"She really shouldn't have been doing that. Running in the rain. With hardly anything but jeans and a shirt on! No wonder she just collapsed in the street like that." the frustrated elderly man had said. I knew this man. He was old, as well as caring. He had always acted like a father towards me and his fatherless grandson. Speaking of fatherless grandson...
"You're telling me. She's lucky you found her when you did. A minute longer out there, and she could have gotten hypothermia." said a young African-American lady, as she scribbled on a clipboard. She was dressed up in a white lab coat, with blue scrubs underneath.
Hold up. A minute longer...what happened while I was running after...? Sick realization hit my stomach, cold and hard.
"Where's Max?" I shouted, as I jumped out of bed and collapsed to the floor. My head suddenly felt heavy, and everything started to spin for a second. The two quickly turned to me with shocked expressions on their face. Walter, the elderly man, quickly rushed to my aid. The lady, who I assumed was a doctor, followed him to help assist me.
"Belle, are you okay?" Walter cried as he and the doctor carried me back onto my bed.
"I'm fine. I just..." I tried to make my way off of the hospital bed again, but was quickly stopped by the hand of the young doctor.
"Woah there! I need you to relax honey. Your body is very weak at the moment." The relaxed tone of the doctor's voice filled my ears, but did nothing to settle my nerves.
"But Max!" My voice cracked as I shouted. The doctor continued to hold me down with her hand, and I couldn't find the energy to fight her off. My eyes shifted over to Walter, who was fighting to keep strong. Fighting to hide those tears that would expose the truth. But I already knew. Deep down in my aching heart, I knew.
"No." I shook my head, causing tears to spill down my cheeks. My breathing became shallow. "No. No, tell me what happened tonight is all in my head! Tell me Max didn't...Max didn't..."
"I'm sorry, kiddo." Walter said softly. He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, and let the salted water flow from his eyes.
Air tried to force itself down my throat, but for some reason I couldn't make it go down. It was like every muscle in my body froze, and refuse to work. Like it all had turned to ice. Even my tears felt like they'd freeze right on my cheeks. I couldn't get myself to move, or to actually grasp the fact that this was reality. My sick, twisted, reality.
"C-can I...see him? Just l-let me see him...p-p-please." Tears continued to fall, as I stuttered out the words that struggled to come out. Walter looked at the doctor with sad, red, questioning eyes, and she let out a sigh.
"I don't think you're emotionally stable at the moment, ," she frowned slightly and placed her hand on my right shoulder, causing me to slightly embrace the warmth in her skin. "But I can't find it in my heart to refuse you the right to say goodbye."
The world spun around me, as I sat motionless in the dark blue wheelchair they had Walter push me in. This was required since my feet refused to take more than a couple steps at a time, and I couldn't get my legs to stop shaking when I stood. I couldn't stand this. I wanted to shout, and scream, and kick, and actually show how out of control I felt inside. But again, I needed to be strong. That's me; the "strong" one. Who's not actually strong at all. No, I'm just good at hiding the pain. Max knew that. He knew it all along.
"Are you ready for this Isabelle?" I looked up from my lap to see that Walter had stopped us in front of a closed door, with 28B written on the front of it. As if this was some hotel.
"Of course not." I responded to Walter's question. He sighed, and gave my shoulder a slight squeeze. He then reached for the handle on the door, and lightly pushed the door open. My heart started beating heavily in my chest, and my palms began to release heavy amounts of cold sweat. I couldn't calm myself, even if I tried. As Walter began pushing the wheelchair forward, I closed my eyes. For some reason I couldn't get myself to open them. How was I suppose to face Max's dead body?
"I can't do it Walter." I said aloud, when I felt the wheels stop moving. I continued to keep my eyes closed tight. It was like I was sitting in a pitch black room inside my body. Trying to hide away from reality a moment longer.
"You know I won't make you look at him. This is your choice to make, and I won't judge you either way." Walter spoke softly. Even with his voice sounding a million miles away, I could still hear the wisdom and caring tone in it. He was never the type of man to judge, and could always reason with both sides of an argument. In a way, I wish he would make me open my eyes and not be a coward. I wish he would make me look at the boy I promised to take care of, and keep safe. Make me look at what I failed to do.
Slowly I began to open my eyes, and the dim light of the room slowly began to filter in. Walter had placed me next to the bed side of the hospital bed that held Max's lifeless body. I looked at him. He was pale; more than usual. His face looked at peace though. It didn't hold the pain he constantly wore around, since the day she...
"He really missed her, didn't he?" Walter asked. I knew he didn't need an answer from me, because his answer was right there in front of the two of us.
"This is all my fault." I cried as I choked on my tears.
"Now you look here, don't you dare go blaming this on yourself. This is not your fault. Max wouldn't ever put the blame on you. Neither would Malory." Walter's voice was filled with so much emotion. I didn't need to face him to know that he was crying too.
I couldn't say anymore after that. I didn't want to say anymore after that. Instead, I took hold of Max's hand and sat there for hours. No words were spoken from either Walter or me. Just silent tears and loud sobs, as we continued to soak in what had happened and how screwed up it really was.
In my mind, this was my fault. Nobody could change my mind.
Or so I thought.
Author's Note: Hey guys! I know it's taken me a while, but the prologue is finally up as you can see. Sorry it took so long. I've been extremely busy with school, and basically life. The only breaks I've gotten, I used for sleep. Therefore, this story has been at the bottom of my list. Oh, what I would give to be as motivated and driven as Holly J, and be able to accomplish multiple things each day. -sigh- Anyways I saw that I've received good hits for Rock My Body, which added to my motivation to get this prologue done and up. So don't think I don't appreciate the reviews, private messages, favorites, and alerts. Cause I do! I'll try working on the first chapter ASAP. Expect a shocking surprise or two, and a meeting between Isabelle and Drew. (;
P.S. The lines Isabelle read in Max's final note are from the song featured in this chapter. Just so you know.
Don't be afraid to review, and private message me. I love to hear your opinions!
xx
