Heat of the Moment

Author: Chameleon75

Rating: R

Characters: Dean and Sam Winchester (Sam's p.o.v)

Pairing: Dean/Sam

Word Count: 1660

Warnings: Dubious consent, dark, slash, wincest, character death, episode 3.11, mystery spot

Spoilers: Episode 3.11 Mystery Spot.

Disclaimer: I own nothing; Just playing a little rough with some of Eric's prettiest toys. Title is from an Asia song used in episode 3.11. Lyrics are in italics.

Summary: What would you do if you could do anything (or anyone) without consequences?

A/N: I read a cue on L J (spn_cues) the other day "I was asleep when you were dying". With that cue in mind, I watched Mystery Spot and this piece is the result.

*spn*

"He will have the special, side of bacon, coffee, black, nothing for me, thanks"

"Sam, I get all tingly when you take control like that"

"Quit screwing around Dean."

Most mornings I order his breakfast just to hear him flirt with me. I know he is just screwing with my head, but I wonder what would happen if I called his bluff. The old saying is that there is a kernel of truth in every joke. The very next breakfast, I tested my theory.

"He will have the special, side of bacon, coffee, black, nothing for me, thanks"

"Sam, I get all tingly when you take control like that"

Allowing my gaze to start at his stomach, move up to his broad shoulders, linger on his pulse then land for a moment too long on his lips, then finally look into his greenish hazel eyes I reply "Good to know Dean"

Dean is speechless, his pupils dilate and a blush tints his cheeks. It takes him a few seconds too long to gather himself enough to reply "Your acting weird Sam…what did you say about experiencing déjà vu?"

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted Dean. He is the only constant in my life. I remember calling for him instead of Dad in the middle of the night when I had a bad dream. I remember him getting me ready for school and making sure I ate. I remember he was there for me…always. When I started noticing him in a sexual manner I tried my best to hide that shame. I never wanted him look at me with hatred in his eyes. I was the abnormal freak, not Dean. Allowing my sick, twisted desires to sully him was out of the question. I stuffed those feelings down as much as I could and never allowed my control to slip around him. Until today, when allowed him to see me for the first time in years.

Hmm, I have to analyze what exactly his reaction means. It wasn't what I expected. I was thinking he would come back at me with another smartass remark.

Whatever sick being is responsible for sticking me and Dean in this time loop is a really sadistic asshat. I have only being through the loop a half a dozen times and already I want to rape my own brother. Life without consequences turns people into nothing but fucking animals. I shouldn't be plotting the best way to jump Dean.

I should be trying to get out of this situation with my morals and sanity intact.

Maybe I need to investigate the mystery spot again. Rip it apart and burn that damned place down if need be, and save Dean not only from death, but from me.

*spn*

I have been through the loop over three months. I have ripped up and burned the mystery spot, noticed everything and everyone in this town. Tried to save Dean over ninety-five times, there was a couple of mornings I didn't even get out of bed. Just rolled over and slept while he died. I just couldn't face his death again on those mornings. My morals are still intact, but I am beginning to wonder about my sanity.

*spn*

"Rise and shine Sammy" Dean calls out as he is lacing his boots

"Telling what your heart is"

"The heat of the moment…showed in your eyes"

"I hate Asia" Sam groans

"Come on, you love this song and you know it" Dean replied.

"Turn it off Dean, I really hate this song" Sam growls

"What? Sorry couldn't hear you." Dean smirks as he cranks the volume.

I roll over, snatch the radio and fling it into a wall. I just can't deal with it today. It's a bad day…over and over again. I can't face it again.

"What the hell Sam! Have you lost your mind?" Dean yells as he is approaching me.

Getting out of bed, madder than I have ever been in my life, I unleash on Dean.

"Yes. I have lost my fucking mind Dean. I have watched you die every way imaginable. I keep reliving every day as this fucking Tuesday in this backwater fucking town and I watch you die. Then my day starts all over again. I have heard fucking Asia every fucking morning for six months in a roll and I am fucking Sick of It. Get the gun out of the duffle and blow my head off Dean because I can't do it again today. I am officially done. Do you hear me? Fuck this shit, I am out. Just end it and allow me to be the one to die today." As I am reaching into the duffle for the gun Dean tackles me from behind.

"Don't even think about it Sammy. I don't know what is going on but let me help you. I will find out what possesses you to act like this…just give me the bag" Dean pleads.

"Get off of me now Dean" I can feel his body stretched out over my back, reaching for the duffle I have gripped in my hands. He finally reaches the bag after wiggling that sweet body over me and springs up with his prize.

I get up and pin him to the wall. I grab his wrists and put them over his head and I lean into him allowing him to feel my erection on his hip. I lean down close enough to his ear for my lips to graze it and whisper. "See what you did to me Dean. I wanted to end this day forever but since you interfered with that plan. I can either watch you die again. Or fuck that sweet ass. I think I will try the second option today"

My tongue is tracing the shell of his ear then I suck the lobe between my lips. I hear Dean groaning before his mind catches up with his reactions. He starts to thrash in my hold and that just adds friction to my already throbbing erection.

"Sammy get off of me. You don't want to do this. This is wrong on all kinds of levels and will ensure both of us a place in hell. I already have a one-way ticket but you don't have to end up there too. This is wrong…you're my brother Sam. I can't allow this to happen. I have to protect you from this shit!" Dean's pleas are half whispered and half moaned as I latch onto his neck. He's very sensitive to the spot just below his ear.

Something must have clicked in Deans head, a few moments later; he turns his lips into mine. I trace those lips with the tip of my tongue, he finally opens up me to and without thought I pull him into me with my hand tangled into his hair and around his back. Without my hands holding him against the wall he is able to knock me on my ass.

He has me pinned again on the floor. This time he is looking down at me. He is panting for air, flushed, lips swollen from the kiss and his pupils are blown. He is hard against my stomach.

"What the fuck Sam?"

"Oh please. Like I can't feel your reaction to me? I can see you want me too. Why are you holding back? You're not one to say no to sex. It's simple. I want you. You want me too. Let's make ourselves happy for fucking once. Fuck the world and their taboos. I am sick to death of pretending. I want all of you Dean, and I think you want me too. Just let go." Sam pleads.

"Sammy, it's sick and wrong. Yeah I have thought about you in that way but I know I am a fucked up individual. My feelings for you go deeper than I should have ever allowed. I am willing to lay down my life for you Sam. But I can't allow you to send yourself to hell over this sick, twisted desire we both seem to feel. It's my job to protect you…from me and from yourself." Dean jumps up and out the door he goes before I can so much as roll over.

I head for the bathroom dry heaving into the toilet.

His revelation to wanting me too is a surprise, but I didn't intend for this morning to happen at all. It just got out of hand during the fight. If I ever find a way out of the time loop, I at least know now that the feeling is mutual. Getting him drunk might lower his inhibitions enough to act on his feelings.

After brushing my teeth and returning to bed, I fall asleep hoping for the next Tuesday to arrive and put this one out of my misery.

*spn*

I next morning I notice the man at the counter eating strawberry syrup with his pancakes instead of maple. Suddenly everything clicks into place. I might actually have a shot at getting out of this time loop and save Dean while doing it. I just need one more Tuesday to confirm it is a Trickster…

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