December 23, 2007
Tristan is lying on his cot, waiting for the next training session to begin. Military school has been hard on him, but he has gotten used to it and it was definitely better than arguing with his father all the time. Tristan's father was an ass. He never thought his son was good enough for anything. The only reason he was on this earth was to take over the firm, once his father was too old for the job.
Tucking his hands behind his head to get more comfortable, Tristan thought about his life. All his friends he had to leave behind when his father told him that he had to go. Especially one person in particular who was always on his mind. Rory Leigh Gilmore…Mary…his Mary. He never had a real chance to show her who he really was. Rory was someone who made him nervous when he was around her. He couldn't help feeling that way.
Tristan rubbed his eyes trying to take a short nap, before he had to go back out into the freezing cold and run, however to no avail. He just couldn't get her out of his head. Always picturing her beautiful face, her blue eyes that lit up when she smiled. She was really someone special. How he wished that he could have made her smile like that.
Grabbing his bag he took out a pen and some paper. Poising the pen over the paper he thought about what he could write. Maybe he should just write to her and see if it made him feel any better. His heart was heavy with regret to leave her. He didn't even get to give her a last kiss, since her stupid boyfriend was standing near them waiting to tackle him, if he made a wrong move. But he didn't care about that. He just didn't want Rory to have to argue with her boyfriend about him. He couldn't let her last memory of him, be about him starting a fight between her and her boyfriend. That would have made him feel even worse.
Not knowing how to start or end the letter, he just let the pen fly over the paper, jotting down everything he felt and whatever else he could come up with.
This is what came out of it.
Dear Rory,
How are you doing? I'm doing ok. Well, not really but I'm holding up, I'm a big boy, I can take it. How has things been for you? I bet everything is much easier now that I'm gone, right? Of course, you couldn't be happier than to see me gone. I get that, I really do. I know I gave you a hard time in the beginning and I want to apologize for that. It wasn't my intention to ruin your life, or make it worse. It seems like that is the only thing I'm good at.
I guess that's just me, you know. I ruin things. That's just what I do. At least that's what everybody tells me, but I know it. I can see it in their eyes. They're just not happy with who I am. I can't help being or behaving the way I am. It is what it is.
I'm sorry, I don't want to bore you with my pathetic life, so please just forget what I wrote.
If you are wondering why I'm even writing to you, then I have to say that I don't really know myself. It's Christmas and since I don't have anyone else to write to, or talk to, I just thought you were the next best person that might want to read my letter. I get it, if you just want to throw it away and forget that I ever wrote to you. No hard feelings believe me.
Feelings…yeah…that's something you don't see here very often. Showing your feelings in a Military School means you're a wimp, a coward, nothing but dirt. In the eyes of the officers you are nothing more than that anyway, but in front of the cadets you have to be real careful. There is a pretty harsh hierarchy going on, so you try not to do anything that might make your spot in line drop any further down then you already are. New people that join the school aren't very high on the hierarchy, so you try to do things that help you move up a few spots, otherwise you're doomed.
Ok, quit talking about me now. How are you doing? I know I already asked once, but I don't know what else to write to you.
Damn, I have to go. They just rang the bell. If I'm not out there in the next 5 minutes, I have to run an extra 5 kilometres. Not really up for that, so I'll stop writing.
One last thing I have to tell you is that…I…well, I…I miss you I guess. I wish things could have been different for us in the first place. I wouldn't have been such a jerk to you and you might have actually agreed to go on a date with me. Nothing we can change about that now.
Ok, I really gotta go now.
I hope to see you soon…Mary. ;)
Tristan
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December 25, 2007
Tristan walks inside the sleeping chambers, heading right to his bed. His legs are aching from running and his eyes are half open from lack of sleep. The only thing on his mind right now is to fall on his bed and sleep. Sleep until he is ready to move again. Or never wake up would be a nice option too.
Crawling up the ladder to get on the top bunk he sees an envelope on his pillow. Wondering who could have written to him, (because his parents would certainly not), he opens the letter and reads:
Dear Tristan,
I miss you too….
And you did not ruin my life. I am glad that I had the chance to meet you…bible boy.
Hope to see you soon
Yours forever
Mary
Tristan couldn't believe his eyes. He read the letter another 10 times to make sure he didn't misread anything. No, she actually wrote "I miss you too". His Mary wrote that he missed him too. Nothing could have prepared him for such happiness to run through his body. He wanted to jump into the air and scream.
However he lay his head on the pillow, placing the letter underneath it and fell asleep with a peaceful smile, knowing that if he ever came back, she might actually be waiting for him.
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I hope you liked reading it. A little Christmas present to you.
Review to make me happy. :)
thanks and bye,
McLoving Grey's
