A/N Don't own the book or the characters.

Sunday June 11th

Field Trip from Hell

The River

12:37 a.m.

Oh giddy God's pajamas and zoot alors. Dave the Laugh loves me...and is attached to my face. Breathe. Breathe. Crap I've forgotten how to breathe. In and out in and out. Wait what if I swallow his tongue. Erlack. Mmmmm nip libbling. Dave is the Hornmeitster and the nip libbling champion.

15 minutes later

My big red botty is about to freeze off. It may be warm outside but my bottom is like Siberia.

"Dave?"

"Sex kitty."

"Dave I,"

"Don't say it Gee. I know this isn't exactly right, but I'll finish with Emma if you'll finish with Masimo. Then this won't be wrong."

"Dave I don't know what to say. Well actually I know what I was going to say. I was going to say that I need to creepy creep back to my tent so I can get new pantaloonies because my botty might freeze off."

"Oh..."

Wow! Awkward doesn't begin to describe this. Okey dokey just run...attractivly back to the camp site without falling.

3 minutes later

Not so easily done in a dark secluded forest.

4 minutes later

Bugger. I just tripped don a tree root. Damn. I hate the wilderness. Uh oh. I think Miss. Some Excuse For A Teacher may have heard me.

"Georgia? Were are you going? It's almost 1 in the morning."

Say something sane. Anything sane just to keep Miss. Wilson from realizing everyone is gone.

"I was just popping over to the loos I had a bit too much to drink before bed."

"Fine Miss Nicolson but as soon as you are done back to bed. We've got a long drive back and you'll need your sleep."

It's good to know our educational system is in such good hands. NOT!

Now where to put my wet pants so the "teachers" don't find them. I guess on top of our tent will have to do. Where are my bloody pants? I know i had a clean pair in my bag. All I can find is a p[air of old sweat pants. Well they'll have to do.

Walking Back to The Lads

I feel a slight breeze on my bottom. But I'm wearing pants. Oh what fresh hell?

There's a hole in my pants. And it is quite large. But I can't risk going back to the campsite. Miss Wilson will want to know why I've changed pants.

Where did Dave go?

Ah there he is still sitting by the river.

"Sexy Kitty! You've returned to me. I thought a bear might have eaten you."

"Ha ha. If a bear had really wanted a snack he would want something more elephantine,,,,like Miss Wilson."

That's odd. I make a hilarious joke and somehow Dave the Laugh is Being the Unlaugh. What could be wrong. We've just had a lovely snog and he told me he loved me...