He sometimes thinks they're soldiers. Soldiers who fight together in a never ending war, who survive against impossible odds together. Soldiers who bonded over the horrors no normal person could understand. And there were so many times he knew it to be true.

They've done things that no normal person would even imagine; they've survived things that would have destroyed a normal mind.

He turns his head sideways to look at his little brother. Their sleeping in the same cheap motel that's like every other one that's filled their lives. They can't risk going anywhere nicer, anywhere a little homier. So they deal with the lumpy, insects infested beds that constantly reminds them their outcasts. That they'll never be normal…never be free. But Dean's never minded. Sure he's been tired of it, once, but that was when Sammy was away. Before Stanford Dean never cared, after Stanford Dean even loved it, so long he had his Sammy.

He loves that kid. Always has, always will. But it's not just love. It's so intense and uncontrollable that sometimes it scares him. When he thinks of his Sammy in trouble, his body literally aches; he knows it's not normal. But he goes back to the soldier concept he's convinced himself is their situation. Yet it's more then mere comrade that keeps them together, he knows deep down. Their brothers, their each other's best friend, constant companions…but above all else…they're lovers.

Dean flinches a little; he turned his head back to stare at the gritty ceiling. He's never touched his brother in that fashion. He knows the consequence of such an action….but he's dreamed of it. And he knows his little brother has too. He can see it in the depth of Sammy's worry when they're apart. The angst that's Dean sees in himself, the desperation he knows so well.

But that's a line they won't cross, can't cross. Because if that cross that tiny line of temptation they ruin everything else they are together.

So they content themselves with being everything to each other. Making sure there's no role that they can't fill for the other.