okay, so it all started whith me and misses jones. we had a thing going on until this goddddddamn satanistst judah comes along is is all like, " Serve a bitch straight D make her face fall off" motherfuckin jesus is all like, "bich watch what you sayin satan gonna cut you" jj-dog slaps that nigga dumb. "I'm done with this shit" jayzeus gets bored so he teleports to his nigga peter's house. it just so happens petters mama is sick. hesus touches his mamas hand and she's up. "wow swag str8 up 420 yolo." x-claims peter. l8r that day i went 2 the park nd they saw adam and eve. i thk they waer the spawn of mary idk b/c jesus is a shady fuck. ok, so my nigga j-dog with a cross says to me, "i fucked mary. i'm da baby daddy. thus y god gave humans sinz. he thinks that adam banged her up but it was really me. nigga what am i gonna tell daddygod?" i was all like, "brotha, first of all dat pussy aint even yankin. what da fuck u on? your been a different nigga ever since summer camp. in your heroin days yu once proclaimed that u walked on fuckin water. nigga. listen here. u been shooting up lately? is ur head evn in da rite place?" jeezee is all like "nigga ya. nigga, i take a shit ton of acid. i'm a fuckin hippie. its tru man, way dey been saying its true." meanwhile at the aa jesus called that day, received financial compensation, consultation, but wait, theres more call today to get this exclusive offer and more for just 19.95, mix for 5. min and set aside, preheat the oven to 345 degrees fahrenheit. he aint an alchie anymore he cured swaaaaaAAAAaaAAAaaaaAAAAg. okay okay okay alight so now what, jesus got over his conflict and the story ois resolved da end fuck life. jesus is also of african american descent btw.