The Quest for Sasquack
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Based on "The Search for Webfoot" in Ducktales Magazine Fall 88
And inspired by "The Crown of Genghis Khan" of course.
The Duckburg Daily News was offering a reward for a photograph of the monster known as Sasquack, a huge, savage bear-like giant wild duck said to live someplace in the Canadian northwest. And a larger reward for the capture of the monster. Mr. McDuck had been spending too much time in board meetings lately. He was bored and restless and out of sorts. So he decided to capture Sasquack, collect the reward and display the monster in his zoo.
Mr. McDuck asked Launchpad to fly him to the Canadian northwest and help him capture Sasquack. The Trins and Webby nudged him into taking them along. I came along to take photos for the Duckburg Daily News and to keep an eye on the kids while Mrs. Beakly kept an eye on my babies.
We soon arrived and talked to the locals. We found out where Sasquack had been spotted. The locals were scared silly of him and avoided those areas. But they told us where it had been seen.
We searched the area in Launchpad's copter until we saw a large, white fuzzy something. It was HUGE.
"That must be Sasquack! Follow it, Launchpad!" Mr. McDuck ordered.
"Sure thing, Mr. McDee!" Launchpad replied.
Launchpad kept the creature in sight for quite some time, despite the fact that it was both fast and sneaky. Finally, it disappeared into deep, tall woods where Launchpad could no longer see it from the air. However, a river went thru those woods. Launchpad landed his copter in a bare area near the river and unloaded an inflatable raft and an air pump.
Launchpad pumped the raft full of air and loaded supplies onto the raft. Soon, we were rafting down the river looking for Sasquack. It took quite a while before we finally got a good look at it, only to be disappointed. "Sasquack" was a grizzly bear. A huge, albino(1)grizzly bear, much larger than an ordinary grizzly bear, but still just a big white bear.
"It's nothing but an overgrown bear! The Duckburg News won't pay a reward for that, not when they find that out!" Mr. McDuck screamed.
"Are you sure? Maybe a giant albino grizzly isn't that unusual- but look there." I replied.
And I pointed to where "Sasquack", who turned out to be female, was tending three albino grizzly cubs.
"THAT isn't unusual enough for the Duckburg Daily News to pay the reward for? Three albino grizzly cubs?" I asked.
"True." Mr. McDuck muttered. "Still, we'd better head back to town to get more supplies. It won't be easy capturing all four bears without hurting them. Especially with mama protecting her cubs!"
So Launchpad headed back to town.
But then, Flintheart Glomgold arrived. And announced his intention to hunt "Sasquack", kill it, collect the reward and sell it's fur.
"Just like Flintheart! He'll do anything to make a buck!" Mr. McDuck snorted.
"That's why he's number two. BECAUSE he'll do ANYTHING to make a buck. Including things he shouldn't. His lack of morals, his lack of limits makes him do things that cost him money in the long run. Just because you CAN do something doesn't make it a GOOD idea. Morals are sort of like pain. It exist to prevent you from doing something stupid and shortsighted that you'll likely to regret later. He can't see that. He thinks that morals limit somebody- instead of preventing them from doing things that catch up with you." I said.
"Like selling shoddy merchandise and cheating customers!" Launchpad muttered. "People learn not to trust Flintheart- too often, they learn the hard way!"
I knew how much Flintheart's tendency to make and sell substandard merchandise bugs Launchpad. Especially since Glomgold Industries is the world's largest manufacturer of airplanes and airplane parts. Countless crashes have been caused by defective airplanes and airplane parts manufactured by Flintheart Glomgold, at a cost of countless lives.
Which is why Launchpad puts up with the guff and grief he receives from Mr. McDee. To Launchpad, it's worth swallowing his pride on a daily basis to be a part of stopping Flintheart. (Besides, Launchpad likes Mr. McDee. And the excitement and adventure.)
Mr. McDuck went to talk to Flinty.
"Glomgold, I've seen this so-called "Sasquack". It's nothing but a large, white grizzly. I don't want you killing it. I intend to buy this land and turn it into a wilderness preserve. What will it take for you to go away and leave "Sasquack" alone?" Mr. McDuck asked.
This is known as "stalling for time". Mr. McDuck had already made some phone calls and had arranged for flunkies to buy the land. Doing so would take some time. So he was keeping Flintheart busy by keeping Flintheart talking as long as he could.
Meanwhile, Launchpad, the kids and I had bought some fish and some honey and were using them to lure the bears deep, deep into the woods where Flinty hopefully could not find them.
But Flintheart soon realized Mr. McDee was stalling and refused to be stalled. He took some equipment, including traps and guns and went into the woods, intending to find and kill "Sasquack". But he couldn't find it. Then, he got good and lost. THEN, he got his foot caught in a bear trap!
THEN, "Sasquack" found him! Bears are very territorial and she might have killed him, especially if she thought he was a threat to her cubs.
Launchpad, the kids and I tried to lead "Sasquack" away from Flinty, bribing it with fish and honey again.
But Flintheart panicked. He managed to free himself (2)and he swatted "Sasquack". (DUMB! VERY dumb!)"Sasquack" chased him and Flintheart climbed a tree. "Sasquack" was too big and heavy to follow him up the tree. Her cubs, however, followed him. But only part of the way up. Luckily for Flinty, it was a tall tree and they couldn't go up high enough to reach him. Then, they got stuck. Once they had climbed up, they couldn't figure out how to climb down. Which meant Flinty was stuck.
"Get me down from here!" Flintheart demanded of my Launchpad.
"Why? Sasquack can't hurt you; she's too big to climb that tree. Her cubs can't hurt you, they can't climb that high. You're in no immediate danger. It'll do you no harm to be stuck there for awhile. Sooner or later, the bears will get bored and Sasquack will coax her cubs down and they'll go away. By then, Mr. McDee will have bought this land and he can kick you off for trespassing." Launchpad asked.
So he's not a plastic saint. Who wants him to be one?
Only then, Mr. McDuck came along.
"Help him down, Launchpad. I've bought this land and I am in the process of turning it into a wilderness preserve." Mr. McDuck ordered.
"Aw. How? The bears aren't hungry anymore." asked Launchpad, who was somehow in favor of letting Flintheart stew in his own juice awhile.
Just then, a male bear waddled past. "Saquack" saw him and coaxed her cubs down from the tree and then hurried them off in the opposite direction. Male bears have been known to kill cubs. So "Sasquack" wanted her cubs far away from him. Then the male bear saw us and, fearing "humans", left.
"This land belongs to me now, Flintheart. It will soon be a wildness preserve. Get off before I arrest you for trespassing." Mr. McDuck commanded.
Flintheart left, muttering.
Soon, the area was a wilderness preserve. Since a lot of press had been generated over the finding of "Sasquack", a lot of people came to the wilderness preserve to see her and her cubs. From a safe distance.
The End.
(1) There are white grizzlies, but I don't know how rare they are or if they are albinos.
(2) Mostly becase a duck's leg is so much thinner than a bear's. He wasn't even hurt.
