Kissing is connecting two people, something that resounds in your head as something beautiful. Open mouthed kisses were supposed to be sexy, intimate. I always wondered how my first kiss would be with someone, would it be quiet? Would it be in a dimmed janitor's closet? I always dreamed that it was going to be the most romantic kiss ever. Spoiler alert, first kisses are never romantic, when your name is Tweek Tweak that really stresses the point. I would way rather have the chocolate ones by far.
Our first kiss was anything but romantic; the first word that comes to mind is awkward. I had just turned thirteen and had gotten my braces the week before. Craig and I were playing spaceman for what was the last time we ever played spaceman, as per usual I was the alien prince that had been captured and spaceman Craig was on his mission to save me. We jumped out of the alien jail which was his tree house and made a run for Craig's spaceship which was his mom's SUV. Craig had successfully saved me and wanted his reward, when we played spaceman I usually gave Craig peppermints from my parents coffee shop counter. That day they didn't have any there so I told Craig the situation. He furrowed his brows and told me that his mom was watching a movie the night before where the hero kissed the girl he saved.
I wrinkled my nose. "But AH we're both boys, Craig." Craig shrugged "So?"
At that point I sighed and reluctantly agreed he instructed me to open my mouth and as he did that, he leaned towards my face opening his mouth and told me this is what it looked like. It wasn't so much of a kiss as us opening and closing our mouths together; the third time we opened our mouths together I felt a snag on my mouth. My eyes widened and I tried to pry away from Craig to my fears I couldn't. Craig and I were hung up on each other's braces. The more we pulled, the braces just clutched even more tightly together. That moment is where I started crying thinking we would have to stay like this and would have to call the dentist and even worse call Craig's mom. Craig sighed and pat my hair as I tried to sob against his mouth after I calmed down Craig motioned to the window of the SUV. I looked towards where he was waving and it was Ruby with goggles around her neck, hair still dripping with water she had just came back from swimming lessons. Craig opened the door and yelled at Ruby which was muffled do to the situation at hand.
Ruby was shocked to say the least after the shock had lifted from her she clutched her stomach, wheezing with laughter pointing at us. Craig and I didn't find the situation nearly as funny. Ruby sauntered over to us and asked what happened; Craig eyed her and just told her "Hell ush" which both Ruby and I translated into "Help us." Ruby told her to open our mouths wider and we really tried to. Five minutes passed and all that happened was Craig and I were more tangled than before and Ruby had gotten a deep cut on her index finger from one of our braces. Ruby and I both had tears welling in our eyes and I had to pee. That was it we had to go inside and get Craig's mom to drive us to the dentist.
Craig and I agreed this was the most humiliating point in our lives; Ruby opening the door Craig and I fumbling behind to see Mrs. Tucker's jaw drop while making lemonade.
"Boys? What in the world were you doing that made you end up like this?" Mrs. Tucker was now in a chair giving Ruby a Band aid. Craig shrugged as she shook her head as she called the dentist for an emergency visit. I really had to pee at this point and I grabbed a paper towel and a pen and scribbled "Bathroom" on it. Craig furrowed his brows and his stared at me hard, I didn't care; he mumbled something as we shuffled to his downstairs bathroom.
Never mind this was the most humiliating point in mine and Craig's life. I placed my palm over Craig's eyes as he shut the door of the bathroom. He got the hint and closed his eyes as I shuffled my pants down. He was a good seven inches taller than me and I felt bad that he had to scrunch his back in a way that seemed uncomfortable.
We came out of the bathroom embarrassed and Craig was grunting about his back. His mom had her jacket and shoes on ready to go to the dentist. Craig grabbed a pen and the paper towel I used and wrote "I'll carry you my back is gunna die." Craig grabbed under my arms and lifted me to his height, I wrapped my legs around his waist and had my arms around his shoulders and we were in that position walking out of his house and sitting down in his mom's SUV.
As Craig, his mom and I got to the dentist. Craig wrote on a notepad if she could put a blanket over our heads and I nodded. She rolled her eyes "Just get out of the damn car, you two." We did as we were told.
The secretary at the dentist's office had to have a double take when we, well Craig walked through the door; I was hanging off Craig like an unwanted tumor. They escorted Craig and I into one of the private rooms because they felt bad when there was a three year old staring at us and the mother told the child not to.
When Dr. Phillips came in he made quick work of getting us a part but what happened after was much worse than him taking us a part. He looked at us with cold eyes "Now Boys, I don't condone a relationship between the two of you but if you could leave it to pecks and such until Mr. Tweak gets used to his braces that would make my job and your lives easier."
Craig and I high tailed it out of there before we could get more embarrassed. Once we barreled into the SUV, I began apologizing to Craig who was a bit red in the face but I'm sure he was an ice cube compared to me. Who was most likely a tomato.
Mrs. Tucker looked Craig and I over. "So I want to believe you two ran into each other playing outside but that's hard to believe." I began to mumble "We I mean I it wa-"Craig cut me off. "I wanted my first kiss to be with someone cool not some gross girl with a bunch of sticky lip gloss." Craig lied to me but I couldn't be that mad, he thought I was cool.
The SUV rolled to a stop and Mrs. Tucker dropped me off at home as I left the vehicle Craig gave me a quick peck on the lips. I grinned at him my braces gleaming. As they drove off, I heard Craig groaning as his mom said they were going to have a talk about kissing and why he wanted to kiss me.
I got home to my mom cooking crepes at least we were having breakfast for dinner. My cheeks were still burning and she asked me if I caught a fever from Craig, I shook my head and told her what happened hours before. She held me against her bosom and stroked the back of my head.
"Tweek?" I looked up to her. "What, mom?"
My mom smiled down at me in this way, that I almost knew what was going to pour out of her mouth next.
"Do you like Craig?" I nodded. She sighed "You're a bit young, but I can't deny what's going to inevitably happen, so you do what you like, honey."
It did inevitably happen but the next three years all we did was peck on the lips still calling ourselves best friends. It was when I got my braces off at the beginning of freshman year of high school. Craig came out as gay and I was his boyfriend. Braces gone but the kissing stayed.
A really homo one shot for my girlfriend it took me like an hour but goodness I wanted to write it because augh so cute.
