A/N
I wanted to do something completely random with Brittany, and for some reason, this happened. So yeah, enjoy.
Brittany had won the class election, won at nationals, and even won the perfect girl. Unfortunately for her, non of this had helped her with simple things. Like the other day for instance, Lord Tubbington had pooped on her bedroom floor, which he had never done before, which meant she had no idea how to clean it up. So she called Rory into her room and demanded that he clean it up, but he said something she didn't understand and left the room. So, she left it. Until one day, a mouse appeared in the place of the poop. "Oh my god! Lord Tubbington's poops turn into mice! I'm gonna name this one Freckles." Unfortunately for Freckles, he had not transformed from poop to a mouse, but instead had eaten the poop thinking it was food. Freckles passed away a week later, and Brittany held a funeral for him. But now, this was worse than the Freckles incident, she had locked herself in a bathroom stall. She had gone to the bathroom to see if a photographer would rise from the bowl, which he never did, and the next thing she knew, the door was closed, and she was locked in. "Help! The President is trapped in the toilet!" she cried out, but no one came. "I feel so alone, I might kill myself. But who would look after my people? They'd be lost without me. Maybe they would kill themselves. I can't have that! I would never get to see Dog and his son who sounds like a spanish guitar player! No, no one is killing themselves. I won't allow it." It had been years since Brittany had seen another person, which meant it'd actually been about 10 minutes. "And Artie is in a wheelchair, and I thought he was a robot for a while, but he said he isn't, but I don't believe him. Because, I mean, if an evil robot had came to earth, it wouldn't tell the people of earth, would it? Robot's aren't stupid, especially evil ones" She told the toilet seat. "You know what? You're a good listener and all but you never have anything to say! Do you not like me? That's it, isn't it? I don't need you anyway, I have myself." She turned away from the toilet for about five minutes, but then started apologising to it. "I'm sorry for what I said! I didn't mean any of it! I love you, toilet seat." It was then that Santana opened the stall, looking worried and confused. "Britt, why are you confessing your love to a toilet seat?" She questioned.
"How did you open that door!" Brittany had obviously missed the question Santana asked.
"I pushed it? You know, if you need to go you should really lock the stall. No one wants to see you pee. Apart from that creepy Jew-Fro kid."
"Are my people okay?" Brittany was still completely dazed.
"You're people? Uh, yeah. You're people are fine. Now come on, we're gonna be late to glee" Santana said, helping her lover off of the floor.
"Bye toilet seat, I'll see you tomorrow" Brittany said before taking Santana's hand and leaving the girls toilet for good. Or until tomorrow, when she'd do the same thing again.
