Only for You
Levy never really thought much about it. Yeah, after her first 'encounter' with Gajeel, she'd more or less decided that he was the type to enjoy violence. And for very good reasons. But the more she got to know him, and as their relationship turned more intimate, she was surprised to find that it was really something he seemed interested in. Jet and Droy frequently cautioned her on him and claimed him to be a brute, but he was proving to be anything but.
He was actually kinda…sweet, in his own way. He really enjoyed doing things for her. Anything. Like if she just mentions a newly released novel that she wants, he goes out and gets it for her. He would go to the market with her and even, a few times, braved riding a train just so he could accompany her on a job when Droy and Jet were busy. So no, he might not be the conventional type of nice guy, but he definitely fell into some sort of outer layer of the word.
And that was okay with Levy. It really was. She liked that on the outside he seemed so dastardly and was feared on spec, but he could drop all that when they were alone. It made her feel…special.
Because she was. To Gajeel. He couldn't explain it, really. From the first time he realized just how attracted he was to the shrimp, it'd always felt different. Weird, really. Unlike all the other women that he'd fooled around with, back in his Phantom days. Levy was just… He couldn't explain it.
He wanted to be so many different things when he was around her. He wanted to be strong, like always, but even more so. He wanted to be able to protect her. To make her strong too. Also though he wanted to, well, not be soft or anything. But there was just something about her. The gruff demeanor that he tried to have around most of the women that he associated with usually just didn't hold up around the letter mage.
Not even in the most important way.
Usually, if he had a woman like Levy interested in him, such an innocent and easily manipulated one, he'd use it to his advantage. He'd string her along, use and abuse her until he finally got tired and found another one. They didn't come often. And honestly, he typically enjoyed himself more with a woman that at least could somewhat hold her own against him.
With Levy though, it all changed. He didn't get that rush when he find out that he was his first. Didn't snicker inwardly. He didn't even…do much with her at first. Because she didn't want it. Which usually wasn't him. He never had been a fan of having a completely unwilling woman, but he wasn't exactly the gentlest of partners. Roughing someone up was fun in and out of the bedroom, after all.
He couldn't raise a hand to Levy though. In or out of lust. She was just so… precious. And innocent. Pure. She was pretty dang trusting too. She actually had faith him. More faith than the cat even. She believed wholeheartedly that he was a better person. Or at least becoming one. And she was never disappointed when he stumbled. She just lifted him right back up and helped him to his feet again.
The shrimp was something else. Perhaps a tad naïve, if not downright crazy, but definitely the woman for him.
She felt the same way too. And when she finally gave it all up to him, it had been…nice. And nothing like what she expected from him. The next time, a few days alter, was much the same. He wasn't nearly as much of a lout as he portrayed himself to be.
"Don't tell anyone, huh?" he grumbled once as they laid around his apartment, in his bed, both trying to fall asleep while also not being the first to do so. Levy just giggled though, laying on the other side of the bed as she watched him. "I got a reputation to uphold, after all."
"After all," she whispered as he laid there, stretched out on his back, staring up at the ceiling with a slight grin. "No one would believe me anyways."
"Mmmm," he sighed, reaching over to lay his hand on the back of her head, stroking her blue hair softly. "The cat wants me to go out looking for some new weapons tomorrow."
"He wants to go look for them or you want to go find them and eat them?" she asked with her own grin. He shrugged as best he could.
"You can come," he offered. "If you want. Unless you got something else to do."
"Nothing."
"You gonna make me and the cat breakfast before we leave?"
"Considering you usually have next to nothing in your fridge, I'll have to check it first before I make any promises." Then, shifting on the bed and out of his grasp, she added, "Besides, I'm the guest. Shouldn't you make me some breakfast?"
"After giving you so much already?"
"What have you given me?"
"Uh, gee, Levy," he grumbled, rolling then onto his side to stare at her. "I bought you that great takeout."
"It was great. Before you and Lily both devoured it all."
"I also offered my apartment to you, which you're using," he went on.
"You invited me over so that I could pick up around here. Don't lie."
"I didn't say that I didn't," he retorted. "Doesn't change the fact that you stayed though, does it? 'sides, you also used my body. Clearly."
"Your body, huh?"
"I feel used," he told her as he reached over to poke her gently in the nose. Levy giggled, batting his hand away. "Careful. Wouldn't wanna fall off the bed, huh?"
Which was always his excuse to get her to snuggle closer to him. It was better than begging, she figured, as he pulled her up real close.
"If we're going to look at stuff for you guys tomorrow-"
"Here we go," he complained softly with a sigh.
"I need to look at some things too."
"What things?"
"Just things, Gajeel."
"Books?"
"Things."
"Things with pages and annoyin' writing in them?"
"...What difference does it make?" Reaching out, she ran a finger gently along each one of the silver studs pierced into the flesh of his face, the metal cool to the touch. He just chuckled slightly before closing his eyes.
"Guess we better sleep then, huh?" he asked. "Since we got so much to do?"
"I'm sure you'll wanna train at some point as well."
"At some point."
"Then I guess you're right," she said. "We should go to sleep."
And they did. Then, in the morning, the day went about as it was supposed to. Lily was excited to go out, as he always enjoyed looking at swords and the such. And Gajeel was just happy to be able to spend the day wit his cat and his shrimp…until she dropped a bombshell on him.
"We have to what?"
"You don't have to come," Levy told him with a slight shrug. "I just need to go a few towns over, to a specific book shop. That's all."
"You didn't mention that it wasn't here in Magnolia last night," he grumbled.
"I just said that you don't have to-"
"I'll go," he grumbled as Lily just snickered. "But I'm not going to like it."
He didn't either. Levy could tell too by the amount of time he tried to eat up in the market that he really didn't want to go. And, a couple of times, she told him that they didn't have to go, that she could just go alone, but he was insistent that he was fine. It was hard to get rid of him, after all, once he decided that they were spending the day together.
The train ride contributed to the problem that came up then too. Heavily. He was so disoriented that he didn't recognize the woman they ran into out on the street of that other town. He wasn't sure which one it was. He felt like they'd been on the train for days and his sense of direction was shot to hell at that point. If he had been more aware of his surroundings, he'd have recognized the woman immediately and steered Levy away from her. Avoided the awkwardness of it all.
But what could he do? He was having a double vision problem about then was hardly standing upright to begin with.
"Black Steel?"
He was so out of it that he forgot that that was him for a moment. And, honestly, it had been so many years since he'd seen the woman that he wasn't sure he'd have full realized who she was at a glance anyhow. But the tone of her voice was enough of an indicator that he at least was acquainted with her. It was too late, of course, as at the sound of someone calling out to him, both Lily and Levy turned to look at the woman, leaving him without an excuse.
"Gajeel, who is this?" Lily asked as the woman approached then. He had one hand intertwined with Levy's while the other was against his head, trying to stop the swaying.
"Ugh," he groaned, more from his motion sickness than anything else. "Give me a sec."
Levy just grinned at the woman when she approached though the other woman was more interested in the fact that her hand was very much entwined with the Dragon Slayer's.
Her name still hadn't come to Gajeel and, honestly, he didn't think it would be. She just looked like most of the women he used to screw. Some light colored hair, some okay eyes, slim waist. Was he supposed to know everybody?
"I haven't seen you in forever," the woman was saying then, glancing at Gajeel. He just pressed a fist into one of his eyes, rubbing hard.
"Yeah," was what he grunted.
"Don't be rude," Levy complained, but she didn't get it. He wasn't trying to be. Not at all. There just weren't a lot of other options at that moment.
"Right," he grumbled. "Uh, this is Levy and Lily. And guys this is…someone I used to hangout with."
Lily nodded his head in affirmation. "It is always nice to see someone that knew Gajeel before we did. I am sure that you know many interesting things."
The woman smiled down at him before looking at Gajeel. "I never took you for a cat person, Black Steel."
"Lily's not just a cat," he grumbled . "He's a…a… He's a thing, alright?"
"Sorry," she apologized, holding her hands then, as if in defense. "I was only-"
'You're being rude again."
"I am not," Gajeel grumbled at Levy. "I-"
"Is this your…girlfriend?" the woman was asking then, a glint in her eyes as she finally met Gajeel's still unsteady ones. "Or something?"
"Yeah," he said as Levy just glanced up at him, not missing the awkwardness of it. "For awhile now."
"You're with Fairy Tail, right?"
"What? You keepin' tabs on me?"
"Don't flatter yourself. It's well known, anyhow."
Lily frowned then. "We should be running along, right? We have to stop by the bookstore, get something to eat, and then still get back to the train in time."
"Yeah," Gajeel grumbled. "We-"
"What a coincidence," she said then, still eyeing him. "That was my plan too."
"I'm surprised," he remarked.
"About what?"
"That you knew how to read."
"Gajeel!" Now he'd ticked off the shrimp. Great. "What is wrong with you?"
"Are you honestly asking me that or-"
"You're welcome to walk with us," Levy said then to the woman as she also slipped her hand free of Gajeel's, clearly pissed with him focally. If he wasn't so concentrated on not vomiting, he might have cared. "I don't think I caught your name."
So of course then Levy and the woman had to walk next to one another and talk, leaving Gajeel with the cat and a whole lot of apprehension.
"I am assuming," Lily whispered as they walked along next to one another, "that the woman knows things about you that you'd rather keep in the dark. From Levy at least, right?"
Gajeel snorted. "You have no idea."
"Or," he challenged then. "Is it more keeping Levy from blabbing all your new secrets to your old friends?"
He didn't say anything, but he had to admit to himself it was probably a mixture.
Levy and the woman talked forever it seemed. And when they got to the bookstore, she went in with them, still gabbing away. It was annoying. And bothersome. Gajeel had two identities that he liked to keep. His old one that people still associated him with and the new one that he was building with the shrimp, that was for her and the cat only. They belonged separate.
They ditched her eventually, of course, before they went off to find something to eat. Levy was all enthralled by the books she'd acquired and, honestly, Gajeel was just glad that she didn't want to discuss that woman. And Lily was his buddy, he knew better than to bring it up. So he kind of put it all out of his mind.
Things were good too, for the rest of the day. They even went out and trained some that night, when they got back to town. Levy didn't go with them though and headed back to her apartment to look over her new books. He figured that was the end of it.
Boy, was he wrong.
"It was nice, huh? Seeing your ex?"
That came a few days later as they sat around the apartment. Pantherlily was over in the corner, admiring a new sword Gajeel had bought him, and, at the sound of that, looked up, watching the two of them over at the couch. Gajeel was just sitting there, picking at his nails with a pocket knife, trying to get all the grit out from under them while Levy sat with him, laying out with her feet in his lap as she looked over a book.
The calm before the storm.
"She wasn't my girlfriend," he grumbled. "If you're talking about who I think you are."
"You know I am. And she said-"
"She wasn't my girlfriend. It's that simple."
"Is that what you'll say about me then? When we're done?"
With a huff, he looked away from his nails and back at her. "Well, I'm thinking of never finding out. How about you?"
"Gajeel-"
"What do you want me to say, shrimp? Huh? I screwed around with her, it was a long time ago, and honestly, I'm ore annoyed with you than anything else."
"Me?"
"You could see that I didn't want to talk to her, but you insisted on it. Wouldn't do that to you."
Not looking over form her book, Levy said, "Believe me, I'm not you. That wouldn't be a problem."
"You sure have gotten bold with me," he remarked as he went back to picking his nails. "Don't smart off nearly this much a couple of months ago."
That was the end of that. For awhile, anyhow. Eventually Lily went down to the guild to find something to do and that left Gajeel and Levy alone. As soon as he finished with his nails, he tossed the knife down on the coffee table before yawning and heading off to rest in the bedroom. It only took her a few minutes to join him.
"Are you going to sleep?"
That just got a grunt in reply. And, with a slight smile, she came to join him.
"Gajeel?"
"Mmmm?"
He was laying face down, with his hands above his head. Reaching over, she toyed with his hair some.
"The only reason I brought that up earlier-"
"I don't care. Just don't do it again."
"-was because she said something to me and it's…been bothering me."
"Then stop thinking about it."
"Gajeel-"
"The past is in the past. So leave it there."
Still, she played with his hair for a moment before saying, "She asked me how I hid them so well."
"Hid what?"
"All the bruises and marks and stuff."
Grunt.
"I mean, I know what she was doing. She was trying to, like, shock me or something. That I'd be so surprised that you-"
"Why are we talking about this?"
"Because, Gajeel… Have you changed? Or what?"
That was a weird thing to ask. With a sigh, he turned his head to face her, though he didn't move otherwise.
"I haven't changed shit," he grumbled. "Why? Who's said that I have?"
"Stop playing."
"Why do I have to have changed?" He moved to shove her hand off his head then, but she only caught his hand in her own. "Why can't I just…not be interested in the same things?"
"Then your tastes changed."
"No."
"Then what?"
He shrugged as best he could then. "I don't…feel like that towards you."
"Like what?"
"Like hurting you."
"O-Oh."
She dropped his hand then and he only moved to pat her cheek.
"I used to feel…angry a lot," he told her softly. "And I hated when everyone around me didn't feel the same. When they didn't get how hopeless and worthless everything was. So I wasn't fun to be around, really. Which only made me angrier. And I took it out on people. And yeah, sometimes it got mixed in with some of the women I was with, but so what? It's over. And I don't feel like that anymore. Even if I did… When we're together, I don't' have to…do shit like that to feel… It's just…different, with you. And just with you. I don't get it, so don't ask me to explain it, but it just is. It's different. I'm different. Only for you."
Not wanting to hear whatever she said in response to that, he moved to grab the pillow and lay it over his head.
"I'm resting."
"Gajeel-"
"Resting."
"You only make it more awkward by not letting me address it."
"It wasn't awkward," he mumbled against the mattress as he placed his face against it again. "It's the truth. I don't know why we work, but we work. You mellow me out and I…I guess I do something that you like, but-"
"You make me big, remember?"
Snort. "Yeah, sure."
Reaching out then, she fought him for the pillow before tossing it to the side.
"Shrimp-"
"Stop hiding."
"I'm not hiding!" That made him lift his head and glare at her. "I don't hide from anything."
"Other than your feelings."
"Shuddup."
"No."
But she was grinning then as he moved to force her down then, sporting his own smirk then.
"You are bolder," he remarked as he pressed a kiss to her neck. "You know that?"
"In a good way."
"In a great way."
"It's only for you, Gajeel."
"Stop mocking me."
"I'm not mocking you."
"This may be shocking," he grumbled softly as she just giggled. "But I know when I'm being made fun of."
"Considering I do it a lot more than this and a lot more blatantly usually with no complaints, I'm going to go with you really don't."
There wasn't any thought given to it either then, for either of them, as to why it was so different between them. Why when he laid his hands on her, it wasn't to inflict pain, but to caress or stroke her skin, just to feel how soft it was. Just to marvel at how great it felt against his. Or why when he pressed his lips against her neck or shoulder, he never bit down, never drew blood. And why when his hand came up to her throat, it was to gently stroke her skin, never wrap all of them around it.
Maybe he had changed. Or maybe he hadn't. It didn't matter. Because no one else would ever know it. It wasn't for them. It never would be. It was only for Levy. Always.
The next morning, Levy wanted to get down to the guildhall early and take a job and ended up leaving while Gajeel was in the shower. He was glad to find that she made some breakfast though, before she left.
Lily was in the kitchen when he went in there.
"The shrimp made eggs?" he asked with a frown at the plate of them the cat was scarfing down along with his usual kiwis.
"She made you pancakes," the cat said, nodding over to the counter, where they were sitting.
"Oh, great." Going to grab the plate, he said, "I'm shocked you took eggs over these. You want one, cat?"
Pantherlily just shook his head, mouth full at the moment with a kiwi. After swallowing it, he said, "I would, but…"
"But what?" Suspicious then, he asked, "Did she poison them or something?"
"Honestly, Gajeel."
"Well, what then?"
"Before she left she said…"
"Said what? What did she say?"
"That they were," the Exceed could hardly keep in his laughter as he added, "only for you."
"It's not funny! Why did she tell you that? Damn it, shrimp!"
Since when was his cat better friends with his woman than him?
