(REVISED!)

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Hey guys, I've revised this once more. I've tried to fix all the

glitches and henceforth in Notepad (which isn't too easy). I have

a confession to make to all of you who were wondering about this.

This in truth was a H & M fanfiction... I converted it into one.

But this wasn't ORIGINALLY one... that's right. This was based on a

true story... exsept converted to sound a whole frieken lot like

fushigi yugi. BUT! Do not fear, I've worked on it alot more and given

it alot more detail :D. I hope it's still worth it...

VanyD... ty so much ::smiles brightly:: Thanks to you, I think I've

improven alot on this story. And you're right.... but, the reason

it was like it because this was an actually conversation ^^''

And frankly... that's all I-erm... Miaka could think to put in...

softly... softly.... softly... ::coughs:: Anyways. THANK YOU SO

MUCH!! Also... if this seems like it repeats itself... well, that's

how the conversation was... it was pretty intense. Say it like,

Miaka was having a mental fight with herself and Hotohori.. well..

You'll have to ask someone else about him.

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"It has been 2 years since Miaka left the book world behind herself.

Miaka and Taka have gotten along well... until he decides to go to

college up in northern Japan. While they are seperated, all the seishi

who died are reborn where they wish to be reborn. This is how Hotohori

finds himself in this new world. He finds Miaka once more. By this

time, she has set him up with a job and found him a lovely apartment.

While Taka is away, Miaka becomes terribly lonely and besides her

brother, Hotohori is the only one to cheer her up... but... will this

simply lead to scandal...?"

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OPEN YOUR HEART

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The Moon shone brightly over Tokyo, the stars blinded by shining lights

that lined skyscrapers high up. A sleek, silver Honda drove by the

apartment. A tall figure with long, dark silver hair opened the door

and stood up out of the car. A mellow smile upon his lips and peered up

at the building. "...Miaka..." He treaded across the concreate as he

entered the apartment building. He halted once he had found the

elevator and pushed the small "up" button. *ding* Gracfully, almost

like a woman, he entered the elevator. As the doors closed, he pushed

the button the resembled a "7" he waited. *dong* The doors opened from

the elevastor and he walked out. He held a small piece of paper inside

his fingers. He strode across the red, plush carpeting and stopped by

the last door down the hallway. Reaching into his pocket he takes out

a set of keys. Pushing one into the lock, he slowly opens the door.

There in the room sat a young girl, with long, light chocolate hair.

Her eyes the color of gold. She than slowly glanced up to him.

"Hotohori?" Miaka blinks curiously, tilting her head to one side.

He smiled nonchalantly as he closed the door slowly behind him, not

bothering to turn on the lights. "Yeah?"

"Aaa..." She smiles softly. "Where were you yesterday? I was worried.."

He sighs solemnly. "Work my beloved, work.... from noon to 9pm. I hate

thouse shifts too....."

She sits down in her beanbag chair and nods her head. "I see, that

explains it than... " Miaka smiles dulls.

Hotohori smiles tenderly and walks forward to her. "They take my time

away from you." He kneels down and embraces her. "I've missed you so

much......"

Miaka smiles cutely for a moment before nodding her head and nestling

back.

Hotohori stands up tediously and sighs. "I haven't been sleeping to well

the last few nights....."

Miaka blinks softly and looks up at him. "..why?"

Hotohori slowly looks away, staring outside the window... at the tall

buildings and streets below lite with bright lights. "I keep thinking

before hand..... and ....... cry myself to sleep......" He chews gently

on his bottom lip. "I spend my sleep tossing and turning as I search

through my dreams for.......... you"

Miaka stays silent for a moment, her eyes flickering as she watches him.

"... It's been my fault...." She closes her eyes and hangs her head

slightly, sighing quietly to herself.

Hotohori looks back at her and quickly kneels down, hugging her

tightly. "Don't blame yourself, I brought this on myself......."

"... Hotohori-sama... " She slowly opens her eyes and looks at him.

She brushes her thumb softly against his cheek. "....I... wanted to

talk to you on Monday..."

"Miaka....." He tightly clings to her::

"... " She's almost stiffens for a moment before she glances over him

him, than closes her eyes.

Hotohori feels her eyes on him, and worriedly goes still. "I'm smart

and stupid............"

".... than so I am"

"I've made a mistake again...... I've opened up and...... given my

heart again to someone I shouldn't have.... even though I know it.....

is..... practically impossible....." He looks deeply into her eyes.

"I love you Miaka..... completely....." He stays motionless, waiting

for her answer. His eyes on the floor, longing to hear her.

A shadow runs over Miaka's face as her lips softly trembles. "Do you

know something...?"

"I'm not sure..... my heart cries out.... and it longs for yours.

Part of me says that you love me too.... but nagging doubt scares me

to the soul. I have never met someone.... so wonderful....so willing

to accept me in all my chaotic, misbegotten glory.... and still....

care...."

Miaka slowly looks back up at him. "....Hotohori.... you have been the

only man.... to truthfully ever start to tug my own soul away from

Taka.... you have been the only one to do that.... " She smiles weakly

than."... I am like you.... the pressed 4-leaf clover.... it was the

simple things that get me.... it hit me deeply.... I couldn't talk

about this Monday though, since you had to go so soon... so that's why

i acted so wierd around you and almost cold..."

He nods his head. "I felt that too.... I think that is why my heart

woke.... and ached so..." Slowly looks away. "I'm sorry my beloved...."

Miaka presses her warm cheek against his. "...I refuse to let you

leave Hotohori."

"I won't... I'm always here, casting runes in the air, to cast my

message.... that I love you......"

"..." Miaka closes her eyes.

Tears start to swell in Hotohori's eyes, and some run down his face,

but still he tries to hold onto his stability.

"We're so pathetic... arn't we?" She smiles weakly, feeling the warm

tear hit her cheek.

"you are the only one I have met....... so .....perfect in my

mind....." He laughs weakly. "And... maybe... but you are the only one

who could remove the cold emotionless cage that I put around myself."

Miaka kisses away his tears. "....When you know yourself, wouldn't that

be so simple?

Hotohori smiles very warmly. "I have you to thank for my recent levels

of affection, caring....love."

Miaka smiles very lightly.

Hotohori grins slightly. "Simple? To lock oneself in that cage to begin

with....yes. To free oneself.....no. There is no feeling greater in

this world....than to feel needed by someone you love. To feel that

you have a purpose..... and before I met you..... I lacked most of

this"

" ....I feel so lost for words around you..." She curls up very

carefully to him. "Everything you say... it matches what I would say in

sync..... "

Hotohori smiles tenderly down at her. "My little sister is the only

reason I live today........."

Miaka very slowly looks up at him.

"But... you are the only reason I care right now, because with

you...... I have.....found......." His smile begins to waver as tears

flow down his face. "The one love I have always looked for........."

She kisses him like velvet on his lips, her eyes shining with fondness.

"...A priestess?"

"Many restless nights I've tosses and turned.....my sanity asking the

same question, 'What is it you want in this life...' and the answer

has always.....always been the same..." Hotohori lays his lips on

her's, embracing her warmth. "...I want to find love."

Miaka's eyes glimmer for a moment.

"Higher love... a love with someone who won't betray me, someone like

me so much, so pure and innocent, yet jaded and bitter at times as

well. Someone who compliments my absolute chaos, because they define

it as well. The double negative they me and you both embody. Slowly

wipes the tears from his face.

Miaka takes his hands in her's and squeezes them just gently, searching

his eyes. "....A reflection"

"A mutual reflection.... a.... soul mate so to speak... my faith is

that one day I will.......and I honestly want to believe that you are

it....a saint and a sinner at the same time..."

Her eyes quiver than get very soft. "...So this is what it is like ...

to find a soulmate..." Tears start to fill near the edges her own eyes.

"...Something I have always wanted and longed for... but so long

ago... I gave up searching for... thinking it was just a dream..."

"I had too..... until I met you....quite by happenstance, too. At first

I was entrigued and then I feel for you, harder and harder until the

other night.... when my heart told me.....that you are the only one who

has ever gotten this far into me and not been affraid, or judgemental,

or even wanting me to change in the least. You've embraced me....and

no one who knows me like you do, has ever done that....or ever will....

save you...."

Closes her eyes and feels a warmth run through her body as she feels

tears stream down her cheeks now. "I..."

Hotohori uses the blanket near the beanbag chair and wipes her tears

away, kissing her cheek gently afterwards.

"I... can't..." She opens her eyes, but stares into nothingness.

"You've gotten so far into me too... than it's jerked my emotions

away from Taka and pointed at you.... but... I'm.... scared....."

"So am I...." Worriedly his eyes follow hers towards nothingness.

Miaka slowly looks back at him, her eyes diluted. "....I.... don't

want to be pulled away from Tamahome.... it's like talking to my dream,

and willingly, when it's right here, not grabbing onto it like it's

grabbing onto me...."

"....It is pathetic...yes....... I'm old.... yet I still lack the

confidence to take that what I want..... what at times......I

need.....stoic...... silently suffering....."

".... Human always search for ultimate happiness...." She closes her

eyes, now simply getting choked up, feeling more sadness now.

" ...And when I've finally found mine.... at just 17 years old... i'm

letting it go like this.... I'm.... sorry.... that I'm such a cold,

hearted-bitch who goes around and capture's men's hearts and than

leaves them in the cold.... I hate myself.... I hate myself

completely...."

Hotohori eventually looks aways from her, tears starting to flow down his

cheeks once more."Don't hate yourself.... never do that. You aren't

cold...... you are just....making the right choice. Something I

couldn't....make myself. Because this is my.....eternal curse. This...

is his.....blessing to me....."

".... Shut up" She looks back up at him than. "Just shut up that I'm

making the right choice.... I'm hurting myself and I'm hurting you

because this is happening.... "

"Seiryuu...........Curse of the Bleak.........."

"Do You know how sad I am right now....? To have to see you go through

this... and for me to go through it too?"

"......" He nods his head, tears in his eyes.

Miaka looks down and gnaws on her lip. "... You understand me... I

don't have to explain why I'm sad or crying.... because you already

know..."

Hotohori nods his head once more, looking at her with childlike fear.

"I love you.... I care about you.... You've been my dream forever...

and you're a reality...."

Hotohori starts to go into a fetal possition, holding himself. "I

love you, Miaka."

"...." She closes her eyes. "I grew up..." With that she feels like

strangling herself. "I grew up..."

Then he stops crying, and stares into that same nothingness. "I

still.....need to....in some ways..."

Miaka opens her eyes and looks at him than... starts to crawl over to

him, but stops. "..."

He frowns at her, wishing she wouldn't.

She looks down, unsure now as she closes her eyes again. "....No

matter what I say... I'll always hurt someone... and... it's always

someone I care for...."

Hotohori looks at her eyes. "But my love..... I made that choice

myself. I know that.... I always knew."

" ..."

"But I would rather feel........your caring love."

"......." One more tear streaks down her cheek.

"Even if it ment tossing a turning in bed at night."

Another one streak right after it as she looks back up at him. "...."

"It is worth it to me..... but I don't want you to feel my pain as

well....."

"We're perfectly alike... so you know... that's what I want too... I

don't want you to be sad..."

Hotohori slowly nods his head. "..and vice versa. I want to love you

regardless of that pain."

"It sounds so unselfish...." Closes her eyes. "But why does it sound

so selfish at the same time... because... it would make us feel

better... this life makes no sense."

"Because...." His eyes tremble. ":.... it's so much more....... than

I have......ever really... had before." His lips quiver, his eyes

waver, his world going....soft. "No, it doesn't...."

".... Can't we just die....?" Very slowly she slinks back into her

chair more, her eyes closed.

"No....because that would be easy.... and we are both stronger than

that."

"I don't want to think this much.... if I can't have an answer from

myself... if I can't understand..." She opens her eyes. "....... and

don't you despise that strength sometimes?"

"We're both strong enough...... I think.......to survive this, and

maybe......just maybe.........stick through this......til maybe an

end to both our plights. What ever might become of that...........

become of us....."

Miaka very slowly sits up again. "..."

"...and no, I don't despise it..... It's kept me alive this long to

finally find someone like you. Someone I never would have met, if I

had thrown it all away like I wanted to when I was younger." He moves

over to her and embraces her. "I still love you Miaka...."

"...." Places her arms on her knees, looking down, staying silent,

even in his warmth... than closes her eyes and melts into his embrace.

"I don't want to lose you over this, because you mean so much to

me...."

Miaka places her arms over his arms. "....I don't want to either... it

wouldn't be right to do that...."

"...and I think we would both go insane otherwise...."

"... knowing we both lost something we both always desired for....

yes...."

"Maybe. One must always have faith and patience."

"..." Miaka looks back at him... than smiles very softly.

"Who knows what will happen in time, my beloved till, we both still

need each other.... I believe." He smiles extremely warmly at her.

Miaka starts to feel a calm rise over herself as she almost falls

into a light slumber rested against him. "...... hai."

Hotohori kisses her softly on the lips. "I won't lose faith....in you"

"... ditto..." She keeps her eyes closed as she smile softly, kissing

back gently. "... just... let my heart rest... and try to let it

escape me... I want peace right now... don't you...?"

"Yes, indeed. Anywho, this will make us both stronger...." He

snuggles closely to her. "Yeah, nice caring....peace."

"A peace..... more like a child's really...." She smiles in absolute

content, leaned into him. ".... Yes... through tough times and the

good... we always become stronger..."

"....and it feels better now that we both got that off our chests. "We

both know how we feel.Truely."

Miaka looks up at him and smiles softly. "Hai.... truely...."

The phone suddenly begins to ring, but both of them ignore it... they

only wish for peace right now.

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A figure stood in the middle of the snow, a cell-phone in his hand as

he stared up at the ivory sky.

"....Miaka...."

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"Hotohori resigned to letting Miaka's feelings be with Taka, wether it

pained him or not. But... what will happen when Taka and Hotohori

meet? ....It won't be pretty."

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It was SORTA revised.... Near the end there wasn't as much physical

detail as there was talking. But right now, I am working on Chapter 2,

where Taka and Hotohori finally talk to each other. It's interesting...

BUT LIKE ALWAYS!!! Please send me constructive critism and Review :D