DISCLAIMER: You know the drill. None of this is mine.
(Minor Author's note: I have decided that Natsuki's senior high school, unlike many schools in Japan, will not have classes on Saturday. I figure her life as a Slayer sucks enough already without adding that inhumane torture into the mix.)
NtVS:
Almost Human
"You think you know what's to come, what you are.
You haven't even begun."
Fujino Estate: December, 1999
Natsuki shifted impatiently on the comfortable leather chair where she sat waiting for Shizuru. She was in the Fujino library, reading an old copy of The Book of Five Rings. Takeda had recommended it to her a few weeks ago when she had dropped in on his kendo team's practice for some sparring. He had opined that Miyamoto-sensei really knew what he was talking about in terms of strategy for swordsmen. Natsuki had recognized his comment for what it really was: showing off in order to impress her into wanting to date him, but she decided to give the book a glance anyway since apparently it was a classic.
Reading through the Book of Fire she had to agree that Musashi had some sensible points. His emphasis on making sure to always keep your enemy off balance and striking only with intent to cut were strategies she employed regularly. Disabling an opponent's limbs in order to be able to get to the killing blow was a favoured tactic of Natsuki's. Both her thick bladed old knife and more recently her own natural boneclaws had destroyed the joints of many vampires and demons. She was a bit less certain about what he meant when he referred to one's "spirit" in fighting, she would have to ask Midori.
Hearing someone enter the room Natsuki looked up with the beginnings of a grin on her face, expecting to see Shizuru. Instead standing just inside the doorway was the pale, almost painfully thin form of Sakuya, Shizuru's mother. Years ago, before Natsuki had met her Sakuya had been an artist; the large Fujino home still had some of her sculptures decorating its many rooms. She had once been a kind and vibrant woman, but she had sunk into a depression after two miscarriages and the death of her newborn son almost ten years ago. Sakuya had been getting by until a few years ago when she suddenly took a turn for the worse. After that none of the medications the doctors could prescribe her seemed to bring her any measure of relief from the intense darkness inside.
Natsuki became distinctly uncomfortable when those dull, hollowed out brown eyes found hers. Still she'd speak politely and hope for the best. She stood up from her chair and bowed formally, "Fujino-sama is there anything I can help you with?" She asked in a clearly enunciated voice.
Sakuya wandered over unsteadily and sat down heavily on the chair next to the one that Natsuki had been using. "I do not think there is anything that one like you could do to help me." The older woman glanced at her, brown eyes suddenly clear and sharp, "Healing is not what your kind is for."
Natsuki shifted from foot to foot nervously, "Um... did you want me to leave you alone and go somewhere else?"
The thin woman shook her head slowly, sharp brown eyes still studying Natsuki, seeming to be trying to see under her skin, dissect her. "No... stay. I wish to speak with you."
Natsuki swallowed hard and sat back down on the chair she had been using, making certain to keep her posture straight and her expression as neutral as possible, despite how fast her heart was beating. "With me Fujino-sama?" She asked, both puzzled and fearful.
"Yes... I feel it is time I let you in on my secret." She brought up a bony hand to prop up her angular chin. "I did not want to tell you because I am angry with you. ...But they would not leave me in peace until I did. Not that I will ever again be at peace, but at least perhaps not always in pain." The words were laced with bitterness as she glared at Natsuki.
The dark haired teen wracked her brain for a diplomatic response hoping not to antagonize the woman further, "What did you need to tell me?"
Sakuya sighed dramatically before responding her voice pained, "There are dark times coming."
A sad nod, "You are not the first to say so... there was another, he told me that I needed to be ready."
The thin woman scoffed, running her lightly shaking hand through tangled dark hair, "You will not be ready."
Natsuki narrowed her eyes, "What makes you say that? I train every day."
"It will not be enough when it counts." Sakuya shrugged, "I see things. Visions I guess you could say. There are not medications that will make them go away. They say you will not be ready." Sharp brown eyes glared into green, "You will push her into the darkness of your calling. You will destroy her."
Natsuki felt cold fear in her heart. She knew who Sakuya spoke of without asking. "Shizuru is my best friend; I would cut my own heart out before I hurt her!"
"Do not make promises that are not in your power to keep killer." Sakuya said that frightening hot anger flashing in her eyes, the same that Shizuru sometimes displayed. "I know what you are. You are just a killer. You do not help people." Sakuya shook her head disdainfully, "My husband and I feed and clothe you, but you do not serve the Fujino household."
"Fujino-sama, Midori and your family... you're the most important people to me in the entire world. You are my family. Why would I not always do all that I can to protect you?" Natsuki questioned slowly, trying to stay calm, wondering if there was any point debating a crazy woman.
The thin woman just shrugged, "A samurai cannot serve two lords. You will do what you must. You are a warrior who will always do the right thing. You will make whatever sacrifices you must for your calling." She spit out the word, her disgust with Natsuki's destiny clear. "My only consolation is that I will not be here to see it." Sakuya turned her brown eyes from the Slayer, when she spoke again she no longer sounded angry, only exhausted. "Leave me, killer. I do not wish for you to be in my presence any longer, it pains me to look at your face."
Shaken Natsuki stood stiffly, offering the woman who she used to be on friendly terms with a shaky bow before quickly exiting the room. She wanted desperately to dismiss Sakuya's words as just the babblings of a crazy woman, but Duran had also given her a warning that dark times were coming. The Slayer quickly exited through the back door at the bottom of the stairs, feeling unwelcome in the home of her best friend. Standing outside in the cold garden that was showing its dull winter colours, Natsuki gazed up at the dark moonless sky. This far out from the main city there were many stars visible, green eyes scanned the sky until they located the commanding form of the warrior Orion, forever travelling the sky alone, hunting his prey. I don't want to be alone. But I don't want to endanger those I care for either. I don't even know how much distance I need to keep. Duran how am I supposed to protect them?
-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-
Kyoto, Japan; February 2000
The black kimono was the most uncomfortable thing she had ever worn, but for once Natsuki didn't care. It felt only right that she should be uncomfortable on such an occasion. Officially it had been ruled an accident. Natsuki wasn't sure what the truth was, but she had her doubts about the official story. She stared unblinkingly at the white wooden box as it was pushed into the flames of the hot furnace, the heavy door slamming shut behind it with an echoing finality.
Natsuki hadn't known what to think when Midori had come to her at school while she was just finishing up her yearend exam for Japanese History. When she saw her Watcher loitering in the hall with an unreadable expression on her face, it had been all the teenager could do to concentrate long enough to bubble in five more answers and ask the teacher monitoring their exam to be excused, gesturing to her guardian's tall form. When she approached Midori, it seemed to take a few moments for the Watcher to notice her. Once she did, finally looking up from studying worn boots, Natsuki noticed that those hazel eyes were shining with intense emotion right before Midori pulled her into a hard hug, murmuring her Slayer's name in a rough voice. The Slayer was surprised to smell alcohol on her Watcher's breath so early in the day. For a moment Natsuki just allowed herself to enjoy the hug, even though she knew that if Midori was here hugging her like this, something was not right. "Midori, what's wrong?" She finally asked softly, afraid to hear the answer.
Midori just shook her head, her eyes darkened to gold with emotion as she offered Natsuki her hand, "Come with me, I don't want to tell you this here."
Natsuki hesitantly slipped her hand into her Watcher's larger one and followed as Midori led her out of the school. They walked a short distance to a nearby park and sat down on one of the benches despite the cold winter day. The trees were bare of leaves and the pond was still, its glassy waters disturbed only by a lonely brown duck who paddled aimlessly away from them. There were thin grey clouds in the sky, but no sign of rain or snow. Even after they sat down Natsuki kept holding onto her Watcher's hand, knowing already that she would soon need the comfort.
"It's Sakuya." Midori offered finally, clenching her hand that rested on the knee of her plaid pants into a fist. "They... found her. On the highway. Very early this morning. Her parents were called in because Hirotaka just didn't want to believe what he was seeing. They identified her body..." She trailed off, her voice cracking. She raised her hand to rub her eye with the heel of her palm. "They said it was an accident. She was walking along the highway, and there was a freight truck." She let out a ragged sigh. "Her parents were able to identify her based on a piece of jewellery that was a family heirloom." Natsuki had just clung desperately to her Watcher's hand as they sat there on the cold park bench for another hour before they headed back home.
When they got home Natsuki had attempted to be by Shizuru's side, but she had been rushing around with her dad, trying to coordinate the funeral arrangements with Sakuya's parents. Shizuru's face had been an emotionless mask as she ran around telling people where to set up the white drapes and flowers near the family altar. According to Natsuki's friend Fujikawa, a young doctor who worked at a nearby hospital, funerals like this were extra trying because it was difficult for the coroner to get enough of the body together for the casket. "The only blessing is that we do mostly cremations in this country, so it ends up looking basically the same after that." It had just been an offhand comment of his at the time.
As the family walked out of the crematorium to wait for the call that the bones were ready, Natsuki turned to look at Shizuru walking silently next to her father. The older girl's face was still that same emotionless mask it had been days ago when they received the news. The funeral arrangements and wake had taken longer in Sakuya's case, because her parents had wanted them to be held in Kyoto where Sakuya had grown up. Natsuki had tried to speak to her friend a few times, but she couldn't find any words to say that wouldn't sound horribly inadequate. She couldn't quite get the courage to reach out and hug her old friend either, as Shizuru was giving off vibes that said she just wanted to be left alone. Natsuki just really didn't think that now was a good time for Shizuru to be left alone.
To make matters worse, Sakuya's extended family seemed completely unaware that her death might not have been an accident. So at the wake they had all kept approaching Shizuru with their condolences and their praises for how Sakuya was such a wonderful woman in life. Shizuru accepted all of their wishes politely, but Natsuki could tell that her friend was just trying her hardest to fake it. Natsuki felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, and turned to see Midori next to her, a sympathetic look in her eyes. "Hey, why don't we give the two of them some time alright? Let's go over by the water while we wait."
Hearing the hint of an order in her Watcher's voice, Natsuki nodded and the two of them walked slowly to the nearby lake. She looked at the tall woman walking beside her. Midori was wearing a nice black dress suit instead of a kimono since it was difficult to find women's kimono long enough unless she got one custom made. Natsuki thought her Watcher looked great as always, even if the occasion made it difficult to appreciate anything.
Watcher and Slayer stood looking over the calm water, neither speaking for long minutes. Midori stood behind Natsuki gently rubbing her tense shoulders for a bit before resting her chin on top of the Slayer's dark hair and letting out a long sigh. "Natsuki this really sucks." The older redhead whined, as though she expected Natsuki to have all the answers about how to deal with this impossible situation.
"I have no idea what to say to her." Natsuki's voice was almost too soft for her Watcher to hear, even though they were so close.
Midori just shrugged her breath ruffling Natsuki's hair that was for once done up in the formal fashion instead of falling free down her back. "Sometimes there aren't any words. Sometimes all you can do is to be there for them when they need you."
Natsuki gave a sad smile and thanked her Watcher. Midori always seemed to know what to do. Hours later they were standing together as Hirotaka and Shizuru carefully placed the bones in the urn, lifting the large pieces together with their chopsticks. As Natsuki gazed into her friend's dull, emotionless rusty eyes she wasn't so sure that just being there would be enough. She still didn't know what to do.
-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-
A week after the funeral, Natsuki was sitting alone in her room reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Yamada had bought her the three books that had been released so far as a present for graduating junior high. She hadn't even gotten her final exam results back yet, but Yamada had said he knew she would do great. Natsuki was painfully grateful for the distraction after the events of the past few weeks. Some days Natsuki still couldn't believe what had happened. She kept thinking back to that last conversation she'd had with Sakuya and couldn't help wondering what the woman had been trying to tell her. Sakuya said she saw things, had visions. What could have been so bad that she would step in front of a speeding truck? Or was it really all just the ramblings of a severely depressed woman whose medication wasn't working?
Natsuki let out a heavy sigh and set her book down on the futon next to her, unable to concentrate on reading anymore no matter how much she liked werewolves and super-intelligent witches with the ability to be more than one place at the same time. Remind me to think about the possibilities for that when I'm less depressed. She was still laying there staring blankly up at the ceiling an hour later when she heard a soft knock on her room's open door. She looked over to see Shizuru standing there in her doorway, looking elegant as ever in a red silk shirt and black dress slacks. Natsuki felt her heart clench when she saw her friend was wearing the same almost emotionless expression that had been present since her mother's death.
"Shizuru!" Natsuki called out with surprise, standing quickly to greet the exhausted looking girl. She walked over and gave her best friend a hug, only to pull away when Shizuru stiffened uncomfortably at her touch. "Hey." She spoke softly, awkwardly backing away to give her friend some space, "Did you want to come in?"
Shizuru shrugged but stepped casually into the small room, her blank gaze staring straight ahead, not looking at anything even Natsuki. "Did you want to sit down or anything?" Natsuki asked hesitantly. She wanted so desperately to help her friend feel better, she was so scared of saying the wrong thing and making it worse but doing nothing was just so difficult.
The older girl shook her head, dull dirty blonde hair falling in her eyes. "No. I just needed to bring you this." Shizuru walked over to her friend and roughly shoved a bag that she had been carrying into Natsuki's hands. "She left it to you in her will." She spoke flatly, her voice devoid of emotion.
"Shizuru..."
"Don't." She let out a shaky sigh, "I can't right now."
"She loved you."
At Shizuru's sharp intake of breath Natsuki was relieved for a moment, thinking that Shizuru might finally allow herself a moment to grieve. Instead when those red eyes met hers, Natsuki found herself backing away at the raw anger flashing in them. "Don't even say those words to me like you believe them Natsuki. I'll hear lies from anyone else, but not you."
Natsuki's voice trembled as she replied, "I didn't mean it as a lie Shizuru."
"How can you say that? I meant so little to her. She hardly ever looked at me. No matter how hard I tried to be the perfect child for her I was never enough. How can you say she loved me after that?" Shizuru didn't shout, her words spoken evenly with what the hunter in Natsuki recognized as a deceptive calm before the strike.
"She was not well... I don't think she wanted to be like that."
Shizuru took several deep breaths to calm her rage, but her fists were still trembling at her sides. "I can't talk about this right now." She stepped away heading for the door, "I just need to be alone. Good day Natsuki." A moment later she was gone, leaving Natsuki alone in her room again.
The Slayer tried to fight down the helpless tears that sprang to her eyes as she watched her friend walk away from her angry, but a few still leaked out to fall down her cheeks. She didn't bother to try to wipe them away as she staggered back over to her futon to sit down. Her whole body ached like she had gone a few rounds with a ten foot demon wielding a sledgehammer. She dropped the plain brown paper supermarket bag on the futon next to her as she grabbed the beaten up plush wolf that had been lying on the covers. "Duran." She murmured into the soft fur, "This sucks."
Natsuki just sat there for a while snuggling the stuffed wolf for comfort, breathing slowly until the simple act of drawing air into her lungs didn't cause pain. She knew that Shizuru was grieving, but her friend speaking harsh words to her for any reason seemed to cut into Natsuki easier than any weapon. The two of them almost never fought and Natsuki hoped that Shizuru would allow her to apologize, even if she didn't think she had been wrong. After a while, she looked at the brown paper bag, slightly curious despite herself as to what could possibly be inside. I thought Sakuya hated me, why would she leave me anything in her will? I wouldn't be surprised if it was a series of depressing haiku written on toilet tissue.
I see dark times soon.
The Slayer is not prepared.
All her friends will die.
...wow I feel inspired already.
The fact that whatever it was had been simply shoved in a grocery bag like this really showed how angry Shizuru was feeling at her mother's death. Shizuru was the type to wrap a present in elegant paper so perfectly that you felt bad about having to rip the paper to open your gift. And of course I just had to go and say the wrong thing and make her feel even worse. The Slayer sighed sadly as she reached into the bag and pulled out the object inside. Her eyes widened in surprise as she took in what Sakuya had left for her. It was a wooden carving. Sakuya had done most of her work with clay or stone, but the carving was beautiful. Did she make this before she met me? Or did she somehow make this recently even though she was barely coherent most days these last couple of years?
The carving wasn't very large; Natsuki could hold it easily in both hands. Studying the light unpolished wood she could hardly believe what she was looking at. The carving was of a large wolf, sitting protectively over a little girl. The little girl had her knees drawn up to her chest with her head resting on them, her long hair falling in her face. The wolf was gently rubbing its huge muzzle against her neck as though to comfort her. This is me and Duran. She thought with a gasp. Natsuki had never told anyone about Duran, not even Midori or Shizuru. Sakuya said she saw things. It was such an amazing piece of art, even if the girl seemed sad. Natsuki found it difficult to believe that the same angry woman she had spoken with a few months ago would want to give her something so beautiful. She wondered when Sakuya had decided that she wanted Natsuki to have this. She also worried that she should be taking the words Sakuya had spoken to her in the library that night much more seriously than she had been. Duran, how will I know if I'm ready? You said dark things are coming, what can I do to keep Shizuru safe? Help me.
Natsuki just lay on her futon staring at the ceiling for hours. For once when Midori came to ask her what she'd like for dinner she told her that she wasn't hungry. The Watcher looked worried, but allowed her Slayer some space. Natsuki was scared; she knew everything was going to be changing this year. In less than two months she was starting senior high school, and now she knew from those warnings that harder classes were going to be the least of her worries.
