Everything he did he hid behind his mask, he thought of it as his humor mask; but over time and it was a long period of time, the mask no long was separate to his own personality, the mask became part of him, during the course of his work as a Turk the mask had fused with him and he couldn't, or more to the point wouldn't take it off, not when he wanted to be spared the mental anguish that would eventually be relived if he did so.
Every so often however, he wished that someone, anyone would notice this mask of his and force him to rip it off and let him deal with everything that it had let him separate over the years. Of course he was grateful that no one did, for him to deal with everything in his past would surely mean an early grave for him, he didn't think he could actually take it all if he was to remove the mask of humor. After all no sane man could have dealt with his past as he did, with a grin and some kind of joke.
Look at Cloud, Reno thought to himself as he sipped his beer in Seventh Heaven, his green eyes trailed over to the blonde ex-SOLDIER. The guy didn't even kill anyone by accident and look at how he's acting... If he had to deal with everything I have done.. What are the odds that he wouldn't be here now? He shook her head, knowing full well that he and Cloud were completely different.
When Clouyd felt like things were getting difficult, that the horror of the battle that took away two of his friends from him and forced him to kill a man, what did he do?
He ran away, kept everyone at arms length. He never called, but he still had a phone so that people could contact him.
Reno didn't run. Didn't matter who he killed, or who died, he kept going, kept ticking away with that grin on his face and his jokes. Kept his friends close and possibly had his enemies even closer.
But I'm the one who wears a mask, He mused to himself, drinking the remainder of his beer; No one can see the real Reno anymore. He signaled to Tifa for another.
"You're quiet today," She commented as she placed his beer onto the mat beside him and picking up the finished glass.
Reno felt his blood go cold, was this it? Could she see his mask and know that it was a safe guard? Would she be the one to rip it off him?
"Yea, just thinking yo," He informed her, hoping like hell that she couldn't see through his mask.
He liked Tifa, the dark haired woman was kind and she ran a good clean bar, not to mention that the drinks weren't overly expensive either! Of course he wasn't interested in the same way that his partner, Rude, was; and he knew better than to have relations with her if he wanted company for the night as well. Though he was sure if he did try any advances on Tifa he would get knocked back. She was a good woman, she handled her buisness well, she was smart and tough and could see things that few people could, also she kept trying to get Cloud out of his shell when most people would have given up.
"You don't get this quiet, and you don't think for too long either," She teased him, smiling slightly as she wiped the bar down.
Damn, she's good, Reno thought, still grateful that she couldn't see that much of him; "Just stuff Tifa, nothing to worry about," He said with a grin and then gestured over to the blonde; "Think he's having an off day?"
Tifa looked over sadly at her friend by the table in the corner; "Yes, it's been a year since the whole... Reunion and, he's just falling back into his old ways. I'm not sure why..." She looked at Reno; "Could you talk to him?"
He blinked at her; "Wha? He isn't gonna listen to me yo,"
"Yes he will," She said firmly; "Because he won't listen to his friends. You and Cloud aren't close, perhaps he'll listen to you because of that,"
Reno would have pointed out that it was due to them being enemies before, him being a Turk and Cloud being part of the resistance however he knew that Tifa did have a point. If the blonde wouldn't listen to his friends, why not a stranger that he would fight from before?
Picking up his beer he stood and walked over to Cloud's table, noticing as he got closer that the man appeared to be off in his own little world. He sat down, putting his beer onto the spare coaster and began to wave his hand in front of the others face, in a few seconds Cloud blinked and looked startled.
Reno grinned as he moved his hand towards his beer; "What's up yo?"
Cloud just looked at him with annoyance; "Why are you here?"
"It's a bar," He gestured towards Tifa, who was now serving another customer; "She's worried about you. Everyone figured you'd be back to your usual self..."
Cloud sighed; "I was... For a time I was," He drank his own beer before he continued; "It crept back up on me... Repeating over and over in my head,"
Reno frowned, not understanding what he meant; "What?"
"My fight with Se..." He shook his head; "If I had done something differently, if I hadn't made that attack he would still be alive. Everyone dies..."
"It's life," Reno said with a shrug.
"It happens too often,"
"Keeping people away isn't the answer yo," Reno pointed out and gestured to himself; "Think about, the amount of people I've killed..."
"You're a..."
"Being a Turk had nothing to do with it,"
Cloud looked into the others eyes, Reno had managed to pull his mask down, just a bit, to allow Cloud to see that he wasn't the only one that was haunted by the past.
"You've gotta deal with it. Just move on," He leaned back, his grin returned as his mask of humor returned to position; "You have a lot of people who worry about you yo,"
Cloud looked over at the red head who had moved on to focus on his drink; he realized that he and Reno were the same, they suffered the same blows, albeit different blows, but the major difference was how they dealt with it, neither way was healthy for either of them however Reno had kept on going, continued to live with his friends around him, while he didn't. He shunned away, backing away from all those that cared about him and hid because he wasn't able to deal with the blows that had been dealt to him.
The Turk left soon after, deciding that he needed to find another bar that wouldn't twist his arm to remove his mask of humor, even if it was only for a moment, even if no one had actually asked him to do so.
Cloud watched him leave, grateful that the redhead had shared a little bit of information with him, that he could try and live once more instead of scurrying away into a corner. He had a change of heart towards his former enemy, although he did feel sorry for Reno, who would always hid behind a mask, an illussionary mask that would one day – and this Cloud knew to be true – fall off and could cause the other to be a danger to everyone around him.
If that happens, I'll help him, in the smallest ways, like he just helped me, Cloud thought, not noticing that Tifa watched him with a small smile.
He's okay. Everything will be okay.
