This was written for the "ThanFiction Challenge" at the livejournal community "hermionesirius" - the challenge was to write a 3000-5000 word romantic/sexual one-shot using the prompts "unicorn," "fumigate," and "anagram" !!!


"Sirius, you're not even trying," Hermione complained as the dark-haired wizard placed a "C" and a "T" tile on either side of the "A" in her 22-point spelling of "anagram."

"I didn't want to play in the first place. It's a boring game, Hermione," Sirius grumbled.

"It's only as boring as you make it. And it's better than just sitting here brooding," she lectured.

Sirius opened his mouth to argue then closed it. The truth was, she was right. At least the stupid Muggle game with the little wooden tiles afforded him the company of a beautiful witch. Even if said witch was the best friend of his godson, and a bookish little swot.

"I'm sorry, Sirius." Hermione's tone softened. "I know it's difficult. But it's just a couple of weeks – Harry and Kingsley are doing their best to push your case through, but with all the Death Eater arrests…"

"I know, I know," Sirius muttered. He looked around the vacant cottage again for what felt like the hundredth time. "There's just - nothing here."

Helpless for a solution, Hermione cleared the battered game board. They had to keep Sirius completely off the radar until his name was cleared, and that meant no magic. In the current social and political climate, rendering a Muggle dwelling unplottable would have served as a beacon to authorities, and the need to relocate Sirius had been so sudden and urgent that there'd been no time to prepare her grandmother's cottage.

Since Hermione was familiar with the area, they'd agreed on her as secret-keeper. The day she and Sirius had left, however, Ministry authorities had questioned Harry about Hermione's whereabouts with no indication of why. Until things were sorted out, it made sense for her to stay there as well.

The small stone cottage was almost completely hidden under vines and ivy, well off the main road. Unfortunately, it had been abandoned decades prior, and they'd had to make it livable using Muggle methods. They'd stopped in town for supplies their first day. With the exception of chemicals to fumigate the cottage for bugs, everything they purchased was calculated to look like camping supplies in case the authorities tracked them that far and questioned the locals. The two bottles of whiskey, Sirius had argued, could easily be considered "camping supplies."

It had only been three days, but it was three days without magic, three days without books or friends or family, three days with only each other as company. A sweep of the cottage had yielded an incomplete pack of playing cards, several moldy jigsaw puzzles, a basic chess and checker set, and a well-worn but complete box of Scrabble.

Sirius had rejected the chess set, complaining that the pieces didn't move, so they'd tried checkers for an hour before both agreed it was a dumb and boring game. He'd asked Hermione what Scrabble was, but when she'd said it was a word game, he ruled it out. After a day of checkers and card houses though, he'd caved.

"Another game then?" he said halfheartedly.

"I don't want to bore you, Sirius." Hermione's tone was apologetic.

"No-no, it's just – I suppose I don't see the point."

Hermione looked at him quizzically. "The point?"

"Of winning," Sirius explained. "With wizard chess it's a literal battle. With poker there's money, or… other rewards. What's the reward for winning this game, other than knowing who's the smartest, which we already know is me-?" His tone was so casually frank that it took a moment for Hermione to realize what he'd said.

"You?" she repeated incredulously.

"Of course," he scoffed. "Just because I don't brag about it or show off every bit of knowledge I have…" His lips quirked teasingly at the corners.

"Prove it." Her eyes narrowed.

"Why?" He goaded her. "What's my reward?"

"Well, I don't know… Besides, you're not getting a reward, because you're not going to win!" Hermione knew he was baiting her, but she couldn't resist.

Sirius eyed her thoughtfully for a moment. "Tell you what," he said, "let's make it interesting and I'll play you for real."

"Interesting how?" she asked suspiciously.

"We-ell…" He rubbed his chin with rehearsed contemplation. "It's been my experience that nearly any game can be made into a drinking game…"

"Do you really want to waste all your alcohol in one sitting, Sirius?" She gave him a bland look.

"On you love, absolutely." He cocked an arrogant grin and gathered the tiles into the threadbare pouch. He paused suddenly. "Unless you'd rather play for clothes, of course…"

Hermione smirked. "You forget I lived with Fred and George for a year and a half."

Sirius' grin broadened wickedly. "So, both shots and clothes, then?"

Hermione threw her head back, laughing. "Double- and triple-letters are shots for the opponent, double- and triple-words are clothes?"

"Triple words are Master's Bidding," he amended.

"'Master's Bidding'?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "Whoever scores a triple-word square gets their choice of punishment for the opponent."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

Hermione's lips curved into a smug half-grin. "You're on."

~oOo~

Half a bottle, two shirts, four socks, and a pair of men's trousers later, the first triple-word square was scored by Hermione. Sirius waited for her bidding, and chuckled when she gave him a slightly slurry grin.

"Massage my feet for fifteen minutes." Her tone was thick with exaggerated bossiness.

"Are you certain, Hermione?" he asked, reaching for her feet as she unfolded her legs toward him. His speech was still perfectly clear. "That's not much of a punishment for me."

"Well, it has to be a good massage, or I get a second go." She wiggled her toes and leaned back on her elbows.

Sirius smiled to himself. Many of the preconceived notions he'd had about her were dropping away as casually as the prim little blouse that followed her left sock when he scored two double-word squares in one turn. As he ran his hands lightly over the tops of her delicate feet, his eyes drifted up the pale, smooth flesh of her stomach, drinking in the sight of her perfect breasts encased in a most unlikely cherry-printed bra.

"See something you like, Black?"

His eyes flicked almost guiltily to her face, but he was surprised to find only a flirtatious smugness in her expression. Clearly Hermione Granger was not the goody-two-shoes he took her to be.

Sirius merely smirked in response and kneaded his thumb sensually into the tender flesh of her instep. A small gasp and pleased moan escaped her full lips as her head fell back, eyes fluttering shut. The sound went right to his crotch and he swallowed, mentally debating his next course of action. It took only a second glance to decide. They were both adults, after all – truth be told, probably she more than he.

While his hands expertly reduced Hermione to a helpless puddle on the scuffed wooden floor, Sirius studied the game board and his tiles, plotting out possible strategies to win the next triple-word square. The game was nowhere near over, but as he spied his next move, he decided it was time to change the rules.

~oOo~

Two more turns, the discarding of Hermione's trousers and the downing of another shot, and Sirius finally had his move. His eyes narrowed in satisfaction as he laid out his tiles, starting from the right with the letter "N," then "R," utilizing the "O" his opponent had played for "octagon," several more tiles, then finally placing the letter "U" on a triple-word square.

"Unicorn," he said with a smirk. "And oh, look – Masters Bidding."

Up to that point, Hermione appeared quite confident and at ease despite the fact that they were both now down to their underwear. Sirius had noted with amusement that she was the first witch he'd known who actually coordinated her knickers and bra.

Now however, the slightly drunk yet still lucid witch licked her lips before worrying the bottom one between her teeth. The act almost made Sirius reconsider his plan and go in for the kill. He couldn't believe he'd never noticed how utterly sexy Hermione had become as she'd matured, and now there she sat in her cherry printed underthings, looking so virginal and so goddamned concupiscent at the same time…

Down, boy, he thought to himself, knowing the longer he took to lure her in, the sweeter the reward would be.

"Oh, don't look like that, love," Sirius said with a rumble of laughter. "We're just going to change the rules a bit."

"Change the rules?" Hermione frowned.

"Unless you want to lose the remainder of your clothes," he suggested wryly.

Her response was a raised eyebrow and an unreadable expression.

"Besides, I think you were right – I don't want you to blow through all the alcohol, so my plan is better," Sirius continued.

"And that plan is-?"

"New game. This time, with a little more action." When she reached for her discarded blouse he said sharply, "Uh–uh! It's only a new game because I said so, and I also say the clothes stay on the floor."

"I'm cold, Sirius," she protested grumpily.

Sirius glanced up and saw that the light was fading with the oncoming evening. His tone softened. "Alright. We'll take a break. You could stand some food after all that whiskey anyway. It's no good if you get sick and we have to clean it up Muggle-style." He stood and held out a hand to pull her up. The sudden movement made her sway, and he gripped her waist to steady her. The silken feel of her flesh under his fingers caused him to inhale deeply. Her hands rested on his muscled arms and he watched as her soft brown eyes traveled up the length of his body, lingering at his mouth before meeting his gaze.

Hermione licked her lips again. "I'm not that drunk," she said softly.

His thumbs traced over her bare skin and he smirked inwardly as her eyelids fluttered and her eyes unfocused briefly. "And I'd like to keep it that way," he murmured. "Now, why don't you fix us a bite to eat? I'll gather some wood and we'll pull the blankets over and play another round, hmm?"

She nodded slowly, hypnotized by his low, slightly rough voice, and then he released her, sweeping his own heavier shirt from the floor and pulling it around her shoulders. "Mine's warmer," he said with a grin and turned to gather preparations for the evening.

~oOo~

"Wait," Hermione laughed. "What do you mean 'act out the words'? Now you want to play Charades?"

"I don't know what Charades is, love, but yes – if I place down the word 'singer,' I expect you to give me a bloody song!"

"And you'll do the same?" She asked skeptically. Sirius' demeanor had lightened considerably since his first time in hiding, but he'd never seemed the type to participate in silly Muggle games like this.

"Of course!" He answered immediately. "I'll have you know I have a lovely singing voice, among my many diverse talents." His lips twitched behind his otherwise innocent smile.

With a deep breath, Hermione shook her head. "Alright, then – it was Master's Bidding, so I suppose I have no choice, really."

"That's the spirit!" He grinned.

It started out fairly innocent with rather ludicrous results – words like 'thunder,' 'oxygen,' and 'volcano' had them laughing uncontrollably at each other. It was Hermione, however, who first took advantage of the less-than-innocent potential of the new rule. Her eyes gleamed mischievously as she used four tiles between the words 'thunder' and 'oxygen' to create the word 'suckle' over triple-word and double-letter squares, earning her fifty-one points and a suddenly quiet opponent. She blushed, second-guessing her bold move as she met Sirius' eyes. The question only lingered in the storm-grey depths for a second before he slid over and took her wrist, his eyes never leaving her face.

She watched, mesmerized while he slowly drew her hand to his mouth. At his first touch she gasped softly, feeling a warm surge of energy travel slowly down her spine. He lightly ran the tips of her fingers over his lips, savoring the feeling before darting his tongue out to the tip of her middle finger. Hermione nearly forgot to breathe as Sirius artfully traced a moist line down to her topmost joint, his tongue curling across the tiny crease before sweeping back to the tip. Then, ever so slowly, he closed his lips around the digit, pulling it into his mouth and between the slight pressure of his teeth before drawing it back out again. He repeated the motion several times, each time sucking her finger a little deeper, stroking it with his tongue so suggestively that by the time he withdrew it with a tiny smacking sound, she was nearly panting.

His eyes had darkened to pewter as he gently lowered her hand, his thumb caressing the inner flesh of her wrist. His pulse quickened at the sight of Hermione's parted lips and flushed cheeks, and Sirius was quite surprised to find himself struggling for his own composure. She was beautiful and sexy yes, but when it came to seduction, he was always in control. Sucking on a witch's finger was hardly enough to cause him to lose it.

Usually.

Sirius inhaled and dropped Hermione's hand to her bare knee. "My turn," he whispered with a smirk.

He looked down at the little wooden rack before him. He had an 'S,' an 'F,' two 'B's, an 'I,' an 'E,' and an 'L.' His eyes flicked several times between the letters and the words already laid out on the board before glancing at his beautiful opponent, who was staring resolutely at her hands with a glazed look.

Sirius' lips curved smugly as he positioned a series of tiles starting from the 'N' in 'nonsense,' and forming the word 'nibbles' with a double-word square. "Not nearly as many points as 'suckle'…" he said, drifting off as Hermione looked up at him with heavy-lidded eyes, a smirk playing the corners of her mouth.

The sight of Hermione on her hands and knees, crawling cat-like toward him in naught but those ridiculous knickers and bra was more than enough to bring Sirius' cock to attention after it'd been shifting around for the last couple of hours. She continued her path, however, settling directly behind him. When he turned to look, she gave a small 'tsk' to stop him. He was anticipating her fingers but was caught off guard by the sudden feeling of lips on his shoulder, followed by the gentle nip of teeth. She painted a path that way, lips-teeth-occasional-tongue, along the crest of his shoulder to his neck. There she slowed, truly nibbling at the sensitive flesh, and he actually whimpered.

Again Sirius tried to turn, wanting, needing to taste her lips, and again he was stopped as Hermione dodged the movement and then nipped him sharply, almost painfully.

"The word only said 'nibbles,' Sirius," she whispered hotly against his ear, her teeth gently working along his lobe before she pulled away completely and returned to her seat.

Sirius could easily have just grabbed the witch and had his way with her at that point, but the implication of her words made his blood turn hot. He loved a good tease, and if that was the game Hermione wanted to play, he'd show her how a master did it.

Finger… excite… tongue… give… They were running out of tiles, but both witch and wizard were bent on continuing the game, pushing the tease even as it grew increasingly more frustrating.

Finally, with one 'S,' a blank tile, and an 'I,' Sirius nearly slammed the three wooden pieces in a line below the letter 'K' in 'suckle.'

"Kiss," he demanded in a growl.

Hermione's smile was triumphant as she returned to him. She was so looking forward to this, having silently cursed the overuse of the letter 'S' in other words, leaving her with no way to form it herself. As she approached him, however, he sat motionless. When she hesitated, he raised an eyebrow at her, his expression sinister.

"Well?" he rumbled expectantly. He wasn't going to make the first move; it was his turn and her action.

Hermione swallowed nervously. Was he actually angry with her? "Sirius?" she asked uncertainly.

His eyes softened for a split second before he growled impatiently. "Damn it, Hermione, it's my turn and your move!" He grabbed her wrists and pulled her roughly to him, but froze just inches from her face.

Understanding dawned on her and she fought back a delighted grin. Instead, she slowly pulled closer to Sirius until her lips barely ghosted over his. At the practically nonexistent touch, his shoulders dropped. He breathed in her scent and let her take his lips, relishing in the rare feeling of being kissed first, of his lips being coaxed apart by hers, her tongue making an experimental first sweep along his lower lip before slowly dipping in and curling against his. She was kissing him the way she wanted to be kissed, and he knew it.

When he felt her hot little body press against his and her fingers plunge into his hair, he gripped her hips roughly, grappling for self-restraint before gently pulling her away, breaking their kiss.

"It's your turn, Hermione," Sirius rasped determinedly, his eyes closed. He heard her shaky exhale, followed by the soft scuffling of her returning to her place. Finally he opened his eyes, relieved that she was still there, still playing. Either way the game would end soon.

Hermione's lips were set in a stubborn pout, a small frown forming between her eyebrows as she stared at the tiles. Small, simple words were always her weakness in this game, and that's what their play was reduced to now.

In a sudden flash of inspiration or luck she saw it, her lips curving into a wide, triumphant grin. Her hands were almost trembling as she placed the three tiles on the board…

"Take," she said softly but clearly, her eyes slowly lifting to meet his.

The few seconds they sat staring at each other seemed to stretch endlessly. Then, before either knew how, the Scrabble board was shoved aside, little wooden tiles clattering across the floor and into the dark, and he was on her, his hands smoothing greedily over her skin, his mouth ravaging her like a man starved.

"This," Sirius muttered against her mouth, catching her bottom lip between his teeth as his fingers found the front clasp of her bra. "This needs to be illegal." With a slight twist, he unclasped the flimsy undergarment and edged the straps over her shoulders before pulling back to drink in the sight of Hermione's perfect breasts.

"Merlin, witch – where the hell have I been? How did I miss this?" he asked before dipping his head down to take a pert nipple into his mouth, his hands sliding over her stomach.

Hermione arched against him, fisting his silky ebony hair as she cradled his head to her. "Sirius-" She began to whisper, but her words were broken in a hiss of pleasure as his fingers quickly slipped beneath the thin material of her knickers and found her wetness, deftly sliding along either side of her sensitive nub before pausing at her entrance, his hand cupping her sex.

He paused and looked up into her coffee-coloured eyes. "What were you going to say, love?" he asked patiently, his lips twitching with restrained mirth.

Hermione pressed against his hand, her eyes flashing impatiently. "Don't stop, damn it! You've teased me enough!" she admonished.

With a deep chuckle, he slid two fingers into her aching cunt, his thumb gently caressing her clit. Resting his weight on his other elbow, he watched her face as her eyes fluttered shut in rapture, her head falling back, hair a mess of chestnut curls splayed around her.

Sirius had been with plenty of witches, but something about the sight of Hermione beneath him, her expression of uncensored ecstasy at the work of his hands, tugged at his soul. How did he miss this, he wondered?

He gently curled his fingers against her, massaging the bundle of nerves that had evidently been previously unexplored, because Hermione's eyes flew open in shock and a loud gasp escaped her at the sensation. Sirius smiled, feeling a surge of warmth at being the first wizard to give her this new pleasure. He continued stroking her, murmuring soft encouragements until she cried out, a beautiful flush painting her chest and cheeks as she convulsed around his fingers.

He gently pulled his hand away and sucked the gleaming juices from his fingers, moaning at the taste and promising himself more of that, later.

"Alright?" he asked softly, smiling tenderly as she caught her breath. She looked at him like something she'd never seen before and curled a hand around his neck, leaning up to kiss him deeply.

His hardness bumped against her through the silk of his boxers and she smiled against his lips, pushing gently at his shoulder. When he lay back on the floor, she slid over him, pausing to pay well-deserved attention to his muscled chest, her tongue following each scar and tattoo before drifting lower.

She smiled sexily at him as her fingers hooked into his waistband and tugged the material over his hips, his long, thick cock bobbing free. Hermione licked her lips and lowered her head but was stopped, Sirius' hand tangled in her hair, holding her back. She frowned questioningly at him and he shook his head.

"Next time, love. Right now I need you," he rasped, his eyes nearly black with desire.

Feeling an unreasonable surge of happiness that there would be a "next time," she shimmied out of her knickers and moved to straddle the gorgeous, older wizard.

"You are so beautiful, Hermione," Sirius whispered, his eyes full of sincerity despite the relatively uncreative words that spilled from his lips. He couldn't help it – where he would usually have uttered one brilliant poetic line or another, his mouth kept spouting these simple truths.

So are you, Hermione thought, looking down at Sirius. He'd truly turned himself around in recent years. While he'd never completely reverse the damage Azkaban had dealt him, he still looked better than most wizards half his age. The crush she once harboured as a teenager never really went away, but rather grew up into a very real female attraction to him. Never in her wildest dreams however, had she thought she'd have him between her legs, worshipping her body, even under dire circumstances. As irresponsible as it might seem later, Hermione would be damned if she'd pass up the opportunity now.

She positioned herself over him and inhaled sharply when the tip of his cock rubbed along her slick folds. Their eyes met as he nestled against her entrance, and with one sweet breath Hermione pushed down on him, closing her eyes, a throaty moan escaping her as he eased in, his cock stretching her deliciously.

A similar sound escaped Sirius as he felt himself encased in her velvety slickness. "Ohhhh Hermione baby…" he groaned, "You're so goddamned tight, so wet…"

His hands caressed her thighs as she sat there, relishing the feeling momentarily of being filled by him. Then, just as his hands found her hips, she began moving against him, rocking back and forth with growing urgency. A tiny frown formed between her brows as another wave of ecstasy began to swell in her.

Her fingers danced over Sirius' chest, nails scratching slightly as her breathing grew irregular. He was pumping up into her now as she grinded against him, but not quite finding the right angle to push her over the edge.

"Come for me, love," Sirius whispered, "I want to feel your beautiful pussy clenching my cock."

"Please, Sirius… I…." Hermione panted helplessly, so close…

"This?" he asked, slipping his hand down, dipping his thumb into her folds to find her clit.

"Yes!" Hermione cried raggedly. "Oh fuck, Sirius, please…" Her words were lost in another sharp cry as she came around him, her body shuddering uncontrollably as her slick release soaked the cock still buried in her.

Sirius stroked her back gently as she lay on his chest, but before she completely caught her breath, he rolled her over, grinning down at her sexily as he moved inside her again.

"Not through with you yet, love," he murmured, lowering his head to nip softly at her lips as he slowly slid in and out of the young witch.

Sirius groaned when Hermione's fingers glided over his chest and found his nipples, pinching them softly at first, then harder as she gauged his reaction. With a particularly sharp pinch, he drove into her hard but slid back slowly, again and again, until she was writhing beneath him again, pleading for more.

"Please Sirius!" She begged, knowing he was holding back. When her nails dug into his ass, he snarled and pounded his cock repeatedly into her, pushing her to her final climax before he spilled his seed into her with a roar.

They lay wordlessly in each others' arms, wrapped in blankets and sleeping bags, until Hermione gave a small frustrated sigh.

"Love?" Sirius asked lazily, looking down at the treasure he'd finally discovered.

"It's nothing really just – we have to clean up the Muggle way and I don't want to walk down to the creek…"

With a low chuckle he squeezed her to him. "Then don't. You'll just get all sloppy again anyway. We'll go in the morning."

"Next time," Hermione recalled with a drowsy smile, letting her eyelids drop as sleep took them both.

~oOo~

The next morning they were awakened by Harry's Patronus, informing them that Sirius' case had been pushed through. The Ministry authorities that had been looking for Hermione were only trying to serve a summons to the hearing, but they'd been able to proceed without her. As of 8 a.m. that morning, Sirius Black was a free wizard. Harry just had to pick up the official documents from the Ministry and would be arriving immediately thereafter.

While the utter joy on Sirius' face was worth everything in the world to her, Hermione couldn't completely beat back a small twinge of disappointment.

So much for next time… I she thought as she quickly moved about the cottage to gather their belongings, still not wanting to risk using magic until they had Sirius' pardon in hand.

"Hermione…" Sirius watched her, now fully dressed and busily packing, apparently not hearing him.

"HERMIONE," he repeated, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to look at him.

"Yes, Sirius?" she asked calmly.

He heaved a great sigh. "I'm sorry, love." His voice was full of regret.

This was not what Hermione wanted to hear. She'd much rather just pretend nothing happened than deal with some consolation speech. She forced a smile, "It's nothing, Sirius, really."

He frowned and searched her eyes. Nothing? he thought uneasily. No, not nothing. He could see it in her brown pools, but unfortunately his godson would be there any minute.

"Hermione," he shook his head. "Things are about to get really crazy and I don't want you to think… I mean…"

"Sirius? Hermione?" Harry's voice called from the pathway leading to the cottage.

Fuck.

Unable to think of anything better, Sirius quickly pulled her to him and kissed her with as much passion and emotion as he could possibly convey. When he broke away, they merely stared at each other for a moment before the door burst open.

~oOo~

A month is more than enough time to get over one bloody shag, Hermione thought angrily, slamming her filing cabinet shut.

Avoiding Sirius had been surprisingly easy; with all the media and conferences surrounding his pardon, even Harry hadn't noticed her absence. And yet, she still found herself in a rather disgusting funk over the wizard. She wasn't a naïve schoolgirl anymore, and it wasn't as though she'd never had a one-nighter. Why couldn't she shake him?

Sighing, Hermione glanced at the clock. 8 p.m. She'd been working late for the past month in an effort to distract herself. Perhaps a different approach… she thought. Gathering her belongings, she decided to floo home for a bottle of wine and a long hot bath.

Stepping out of the fireplace of her small but posh flat, Hermione gasped softly at the unexpected glow of candles lit all around the darkened room. Her heart pounding, she closed her eyes and concentrated. Sensing her wards were still intact, she opened them again, catching sight of a medium-sized box wrapped in red and gold sitting on her coffee table. Wand in hand, she cautiously approached the package, glancing around her apartment. After casting a small curse-detection charm, she plucked the small golden envelope from the top of the box and opened it.

"No one will play this with me. Fancy a game? – S."

Hermione tore at the wrapping, gasping a small, joyful laugh as the paper exposed a ridiculously fancy, special edition version of Scrabble.

"Actually, I don't really want to play it with anyone else." Hermione jumped slightly at the warm familiar voice that rumbled from the entrance to her hallway. She whirled around to find Sirius leaning casually against the doorframe.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you." He smiled sheepishly. "Well, moping actually, according to Harry. I got so tired of hearing him ask what was wrong that I finally just told him. He let me in," Sirius rambled. "I hope you don't mind-"

He was cut off by soft sweet lips pressed fiercely against his, her arms wrapped around his neck. When she broke away, Sirius gazed into her brown eyes and chuckled. Picking up the board game, he tilted his head. "Shall we?"

"Next time." Hermione smirked suggestively, her fingers slowly unbuttoning his shirt.