The case was one they'd all seen before:
The victim was a young college student; female.
Raped after being administered a date-rape drug by an older, popular student.
She refused to press charges out of shame but her friends had come to Benson and her team, asking for help they pleaded for their assistance.
"She isn't the only one this has happened to." One of the girls had said. "I've spoken to other girls in our year and they all refuse to tell the police. They think he won't get caught."
These girls wanted justice for their friend and for all the other girls that had been raped and assaulted by this guy.
"It was James Allen." They told Benson and her team.
An older student who was insanely popular amongst the campus; handsome and charismatic, smart and rich.
"What a cliché." Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr quipped in a deadpanned tone, he looked over the files they had collected for the case so far with a frustrated gaze.
"Doesn't make it any less important Carisi." Olivia Benson said, the Sarge walked up behind him and arched her eyebrow in his direction.
Sonny's cheeks blazed red and stuttered.
"That's not – I wasn't – "
"We know." Laughed Amanda Rollins. "Calm down boy."
Sonny threw a mock glare her way.
"We're meeting with the victim today." Benson told the squad. "Amaro and Carisi – I want you two to go down to her apartment and try and get as much out of her as you can."
"Yes Sarge." Sonny was glowing almost – seeing this as his chance to prove his worth in a way.
"Barba will be going with you." Olivia added.
Nick Amaro nodded.
Sonny followed the darker skinned man when he left the office to meet with AD Rafael Barba.
"I can't." The girl all but screamed.
Sarah Duke was the girl who had been date-raped, the start of the case that was proving harder than they thought it would be.
"If I testify against him I – I'll be a laughing stock, people will call me a slut who cried rape."
"No one will think that – "Nick tried to argue gently but Sarah laughed, her voice void of emotion of any kind.
"You people don't understand!" She cried. "You work with rape victims, sure, but you don't actually know what it's like. The aftermath, the pain, the shame. You couldn't possibly understand! How could you! I can't testify! It's not that I don't want to – I just can't." Sarah's voice broke, sobs racked her body but she pushed Amaro away when he tried to touch her.
Barba sighed, he tried to think of something to say that would calm the young women down.
He opened his mouth as if to say something reassuring but Carisi beat him to it.
"You're afraid – afraid he won't get jail time and afraid if he doesn't, he'll come after you. You're afraid of people telling you that you 'wanted' it, that you 'deserved' it."
Sarah lifted her head up, her eyes were hopeful but her shoulders still tense as if waiting to be hit.
"I – "Sonny gulped, things came rushing to his mind he hadn't thought about it years.
Sonny walked over to the distressed girl and kneelt in front of her.
"I do understand."
Sarah felt her shoulders fall, her gaze softened as the young face of the SVU detective looked so very much like hers.
"What do you mean?" She asked attentively.
Barba and Nick shared a confused, worried look as Sonny flexed his muscles nervously and cleared his throat.
"When I was – I – in High School I slept around a lot – girls, boys…I didn't care. But in – when I got into college I found a steady boyfriend, someone who actually liked me and didn't want to sleep with me and I was really happy."
Sarah smile at that, loving the smile that found its way to the detective's weary lips.
"But in my second year I – me and my friends went out to some club to celebrate something I don't even remember now but – there'd been this guy in one or two of my classes that always – I was always creeped out by him and I didn't know why, he hadn't done anything, we barely talked actually. But this night – I went home early, my boyfriend and I had a fight...We were yelling at each other outside the bar and I screamed that I was going home. The guy from my class followed me. And when I was in my apartment, he knocked on the door and I let him in. We talked for a few hours, he kept flirting with me and I was angry, so I let him. I didn't even realise he was getting me drunk."
Sonny was sitting next to Sarah at this point, his hands clasped over hers in a comforting manner.
Amaro was sitting on the desk by the wall, his hand over his mouth and his eyes angry and deep; wondering how horrible things could happen so easily in the world.
"I was drunk." Sonny continued. "And I – he raped me"
Nick had to look away but Barba look on, he didn't want Carisi to think he was disgusted by what he heard.
"I didn't press charges. I didn't tell anyone. I – Sarah, I was afraid. I was afraid he'd say I wanted it, I knew he'd say I was drunk and I wanted to sleep with him. I didn't say no, I was too shocked to say anything but I knew I didn't want it to happen, but I thought that wasn't good enough. I was afraid someone would bring up how many people I'd slept with and call me a slut who wanted what I got. I've never told anyone this before, Sarah."
"What happened to your boyfriend?" Sarah asked.
"I broke up with him." Sonny answered. "I felt dirty and I felt like I had cheated on him."
"What about the man who – ra – who did that to you?"
Sonny hesitated, his gaze wandered over Nick and Barba to see if they looked as disgusted as he felt.
But they didn't.
Nick looked angry, he looked like he wanted to punch the wall while Barba looked thoughtful but his eyes were narrowed much like Nick's were.
"He got away with it." Sonny said. "Like I said, I didn't tell anyone. I saw him from time to time, he threatened he'd hurt me if I told anyone so I didn't. I was afraid. He – His name was Brandon – he was shot a few years back, he became a policeman and he was shot. He was honoured, they decorated a rapist. And I could have stopped that. But I didn't."
Sonny's eyes caught Sarah's, his eyes soft and his smile sad.
"You have the power to save so many other people from this guy, you have the power to expose this guy for what he really is. A rapist."
Sarah felt something strange swirl in the pit of her stomach. Determination. Newfound strength. She felt powerful for the first time for a very long time.
"I'll testify." Sarah whispered. "I'll press charges and go to court. But only if you promise me one thing."
"Anything."
"You have to promise me James will be put away for good."
"Once we get all the other girls he's assaulted and raped to testify, that fucker will never see the light of day again."
There was strength in Detective Carisi's voice, promise lacing his tone and his gaze which seemed to stare into Sarah's very soul.
They were kindred spirits, Sarah resolved, they understood each other and together they could convince the other girls on the campus to press charges and no one would suffer at the hands of James Allen again.
"Will you help me?" Sarah felt like a child, she felt small and fragile but there was something screaming at her saying she was anything but. She was strong and she had power, she had the power to help other people.
"You don't need my help." Sonny smiled but nodded nonetheless. "But, of course I will."
"You should have told us." Nick felt the need to say when the case was finished.
"What?" Sonny was shocked to say the least, he'd never been in the business to tell anyone anything too personal about him out of fear of judgement.
"You know, about what happened to you – in college." Nick explained thinking Sonny just didn't know what he was talking about. "It's obvious man, you're still haunted by it. We – I know we tease you but we are family here."
"I – Amaro, it's not that I don't trust you." Sonny sighed. "I – I didn't even tell the person I loved what happened. And besides, how do I just bring it up? 'Oh hey guys by the way, I was raped in college. I was drunk and invited the rapist into my home and flirted with him. What a crazy kid I was!' Really Nick?"
Nick stared at Carisi, thinking his words over and realising very quickly that the young detective blamed himself for what had happened.
"What? Carisi – "
"How many cases of rape have you worked, detective?" Barba's voice filtered in behind them.
The young men turned their heads to stare at the older DA, his face dark and once again, very thoughtful.
"Couldn't say, counsellor." Sonny heard himself mumble, suddenly feeling like he was cornered. "A lot."
"Right and how many of those rape victims have been at fault?"
"I'm not a child that needs to be lectured!" Sonny snapped, he knew what Barba was trying to say but he couldn't let himself be treated like an idiot child.
"Just answer the question." Barba insisted.
"Counsellor," Sonny practically growled.
"Detective."
"You don't understand!" Sonny finally exploded.
Nick stepped towards the younger man, hands out in a comforting action but Carisi flinched away.
"I let – I slept with everyone but Brandon – that's what he told me. I deserved it, damn it! I invited him into my apartment and flirted with him and let him kiss me and it went too far and I bailed. Something happened that I didn't want and I acted like a spoilt brat."
"Something happened that you didn't want." Nick repeated. "He wanted to have sex with you and you didn't want to have sex with him. He raped you. It wasn't your fault that he couldn't take no for an answer."
"I didn't say no." Sonny whispered sadly.
"You kicked him off, didn't you?" Nick asked.
Carisi nodded.
"You tried to push him off?"
Carisi nodded again.
"Then you said no. It's not all about words, actions are obvious signs of what you want. And you didn't want that to happen. It wasn't your fault."
Sonny stuffed his hands in his pant pockets, he shuffled his feet on the ground and looked at his feet for a split second before looked up. Nick and Barba were stood a few feet from each other in front of the blonde man.
"Why do I feel like I need to apologise?" Sonny tried to joke.
"Don't." Nick smiled a bit. "Not your fault."
"Now you're just repeating yourself." Sonny laughed and it didn't sound hollow.
"I'm not supposed to tell you but Liv is inviting everyone to a bar – buying us dinner too – to celebrate how amazing you were on this case." Nick attentively reached a hand up to place on Carisi's shoulder.
Sonny noticed the hesitation and smiled slightly.
"I'm not made of glass Nick, you can touch me without thinking I'll have a break down."
"I'm sorry."
"So is the Sarge actually throwing a party for me?"
"Basically. She thinks you deserve it – and you do because you were amazing."
Barba slapped Carisi on the back and grinned.
"Come on detective, Olivia does hate waiting."
Sonny smiled. He watched the older, shorter man throw him a grin, grab his black coat and leave.
"Sonny,"
It felt strange hearing Nick say his name.
"You are one strong son-of-a-bicth." The awe and pride in Nick's voice made Sonny blush.
An arm came up to wrap around Sonny's shoulders, he was pulled to Nick's chest and they walked together to the bar where Liv bought Sonny a drink, where Amanda hugged Sonny and said 'you did good' like only a sister could, where Fin patted his back and promised him free drinks for life, where Barba smiled fondly and proudly at the young man who went through so much and didn't tell anyone.
Nick kept an arm around Sonny and he felt warm for the first time in a very long time.
