The Food Critics of the Ring

Condor 2.0: Hi welcome to Food Critics of the Ring. For those of you who think this sounds familiar (that would be you elf)… yes, I tried to write this before but it was banned. I've already written most of the chapters, so the update should be quick all I need to do is revise the chapters and turn them into normal format instead of script format.

Disclaimer: I own none of The Lord of the Rings characters. I wish I did. (sob)

Da dad da daaaaa:

Chapter 1: Food Critics?

"Life sucks and is boring," said Merry to himself while he was chillin' on da' street, "I'm getting the fellowship a job." He then went into the first building he saw that had a jobs open sign on it.

Later, in the dining room…

"Life sucks and is boring," said Gimli to the others of the Fellowship, "We should get a job."

"I got us a job!" cried Merry triumphantly. When no one responded he said, "Anybody wanna hear about it?" The Fellowship started eating. Merry didn't notice their lack of attention and said, "We're going to be food critics!"

Suddenly, there was an outburst of talkage.

"YAY!" cried Gimli and Pippin.

"No fast food," said Legolas daintily.

"Which restaurant first?" asked Merry, who was, by now, very pleased with himself.

"Olive Garden," said Legolas.

"Outback Steakhouse!" called Gimli.

"McDonalds!" screamed Pippin.

"Where master wants to go," said Sam, trying to suck up to Frodo.

"Get a life," said Frodo, annoyed.

"Everybody's opinion is important so we'll have our agent decide," said Merry

Frodo booed. Sam booed. Pippin cried. Aragorn became disgruntled. Legolas covered his dainty ears. Gimli reached for a chicken leg. Gandalf didn't do much.

"Get some sleep boys we have to be there at noon," yelled Merry.

"Its 4:45!" protested Aragorn.

"Did I ask for your opinion?" asked Merry.

"No," Aragorn mumbled.

"I am to be addressed as sir," commanded Merry.

"Yes sir," muttered Aragorn. The rest of the Fellowship knew it was futile to argue and had gotten their jammies (pajamas)on and went to bed. But not Aragorn.

"Bed now!" commanded Merry.

"You suck!"

"DID I ASK FOR YOUR OPINION!"

"No sir. I'll go to bed now sir"

Condor 2.0: Is it good? Is it bad? Which restaurant should they go to? I need suggestions. These chapters might be short but bear with me. I'll update quickly.