Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Harry Potter universe...must these things always come back to haunt me?
A/n: Well heres the one-shot that I was planning on wirting. I think it came out pretty well...at least I hope it did.Well go on, read it. Enjoy!
A Nod And A Smile
" You can give me all the 'What ifs?' in the world, but I'll still love you…"
-Me
So many thoughts were going through a little petite red head's mind, who was sitting alone on her bed in her small dark and silent room, which was in the Borrow. As she sat there her mind reeled with her unspoken thoughts of him. Their light nights in the common room when everyone went to sleep, the way he touched and held her, the way the kissed. But just as they got together, they fell apart. Sure she agreed and understood the reasons why, but the emptiness and hurt was still there. What can you say? She's only human.
Call it selfish if you will, but she didn't care. Life just wasn't giving her the benefit of the doubt. What's new?
She waited so long for Harry to actually see her a more than just "Ron's little sister" to the point where she couldn't take it anymore. So she decided to move on with her life. Then in her 5th year, he noticed her. He truly noticed her. Then coming to the end it was decided, the day after the great wizard fell, that that piece of wholeness she felt, was gone. Taken away from her with just a couple of caring yet harsh words. That was something she couldn't change.
That's what made it hurt the most. She couldn't help it. She couldn't do anything to change the out come. So here she was narrowed down to a nod and a smile whenever he was around, at least for now and since he was currently down stairs with Ron and Hermione, it was going to be like that for a while.
It was like she was starting all over again. She felt like she was back to being a fragile eleven year old. However this time it was more than just a schoolgirl crush. This time it was real. She didn't love the Boy Who Lived and she never would. Ginny loved Harry James Potter. The one who was kind, gentle, caring, brave, courageous and strong-witted. Not the imaginary Boy Who Lived.
Unfortunately that Harry James Potter seemed to be temporarily unavailable. All the hurt and weight on his shoulders was tainting him cold. Loosing everyone he ever considered a parent, except for her parents, was enough to break him whole, and then he lost Dumbledore too. Ginny wished she could help him cope with all his pain but she didn't know how. How could she help heal 17 years of pain and loneliness? How could she even come close to making things better or easier for him? Was there any possible way to help someone whose destiny was to grow up and save the wizarding world?
Ginny felt so useless. Here she was sitting in her room not able to help Harry or herself. No matter how much she wanted to move on to stop the pain, she knew she couldn't. She couldn't muster up the strength and will to do so. What if, when she did finally move on, he came back? What if, when all this was over, he comes back with open arms? Ginny wanted to be there. She wanted him to know that no matter what she would be there for him, always.
Ginny didn't even realize that salty tears where cascading freely down her fairly pale face. She couldn't hold them back anymore, so 2 months worth of sorrow feel from her recently hollowed, brown eyes.
What if Harry didn't come back? She couldn't bare to think about it, yet she did all the time. She was worried about him, scared from him. She wouldn't know what to do. She couldn't help but wonder if Dumbledore taught Harry enough from him to kill Tom- Voldemort.
With those thoughts haunting her she started to tremble. Her whole body coursed with shivers.
"Ginny? Dinner is ready. Come on, everyone is here!" Her mother called up the stairs.
Great. Now she has to go back to pretending like nothing is wrong again, while her mother tries so desperately to sit them next to each other, quite like she did with Remus and Tonks. But this time it won't turn out the way she hoped.
'Just remember Gin, nod and smile...'
A/n: Well what did you think? Was it any good? gasp I have an idea why don't you send a review and tell me? I'm brilliant I know. hehe..I'm currently writing another one, much darker than this one, so if you don't like angsty fics then my new ones not for you. Keep a look out for it...Until next time,
-Scarlet Blood
