Pineapples, Playboy, and Pez By: Irish Foxxie

Yeah, so this is how Star Wars: Attack of The Clones should be in my crazy mind, even though I started this before it even came out (I've had to fix a lot of stuff XD)

Oh yeah, I don't own Star Wars or any characters, blah blah blah, Anakin owns me, but you knew all that already, right?

Ch.1 Pineapples and Teddy Bears!

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

In the dark night skies beyond the planet of Coruscant, a huge, bright silver Naboo Royal Cruiser glided through the stars. When it entered the atmosphere of Coruscant, that would it's last time flying.

Zam Wesell: Wow, look at the pretty ship! Can I blow it up, Jango, can I? Huh, huh?

Jango Fett: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Zam Wesell: Oh boy, oh boy! *floats off using a jetpack*

Jango Fett: *brings little Jango Pez dispenser out of his pocket* Yummy.

The Naboo Royal Cruiser slowly landed on its assigned landing pad, but as Senator Amidala's decoy, Corde` walked out of the aircraft, an explosion happened.

Padme: *not noticing the explosion* Wow, we sure did get here safely! What a surprise!

Captain Typho: I believe you're supposed to look sad right now. *points at Corde`*

Padme: Heh heh. Corde` go boom!

Captain Typho: Right. let's go now.

Meanwhile In the Jedi Council. room. thing, Yoda was sitting on the couch watching a women's exercising tape drooling when Mace Windu walked in.

Mace Windu: What the hell are you doing watching this crap, Yoda? *grabs remote and changes channel to playboy* Now this is entertainment!

Yoda: *ears perk up*

Mace Windu: *drools*

Anakin: *walks in, looks at the TV and makes a faint squeaky noise. He then jumps on the couch and grabs a magazine* Nudie Magazine Day!!! Woo hoo!

Obi-Wan: *runs out of kitchen and throws beers at everyone* Hey, hey, let's all get wasted!

Yoda: Mmmm, good plan I think that is.

Obi-Wan: *walks over to Anakin* So what are you reading there, Anakin? *looks over his shoulder and sees naked chicks in his magazine* I see I have trained you well, my young Padawan.

Two hours later Padme and Jar-Jar walk in to find all the Jedi's either participating in a burping contest totally drunk or passed out and totally wasted, except Anakin who was still reading his magazine.

Padme: Um. Obi-Wan?

Obi-Wan: *looks at Padme* I am the egg man. they are the egg men. I am the walrus. goo goo go- *passes out*

Padme: *sweat drop*

Mace Windu: (mumbling) Damn foolish idiot. Padme, it's a pleasure to see you.

Jar Jar Binks: *runs up to Anakin* Mesa bustin with happiness to see you! *attempts to hug Anakin*

Anakin: *Grabs a bottle of tranquilized beer and shoves it in Jar-Jars mouth*

Jar-Jar: What iz th- *passes out* x_x

Padme: o_o Anyway. Senator Palpatine said that Obi-Wan and Ani agreed to protect me.

Mace Windu: *begins cackling* Ani? Heh heh. Ani!!!! *runs around laughing obnoxiously*

Yoda: *burps really loud and does a little dance* Mwuhahaha, win I did!

Mace Windu: *slaps Yoda* SHUT UP!

Yoda: *runs off crying*

Padme: What the hell is wrong with these. things?

That night.

Zam Wesell: Aren't we supposed to be killing Senator Amidala?

Jango Fett: *still eating Pez* Yeah. use this *hands Zam Wesell a pineapple*

Zam Wesell: *stares at pineapple*

Jango Fett: Uh. wrong thing. *gives Zam his teddy bear* uhhh. *blushes*

Meanwhile Padme was sleeping in her room, while Anakin was still reading his magazine and Obi-Wan was asleep on top of a coffee table hugging a Jawa plushie.

Obi-Wan: *suddenly wakes up* Where's that damn walrus?!?!

Anakin: .

Obi-Wan: .

Anakin: .

Obi-Wan: I sense something! Do you Anakin?

Anakin: Oh, so you have that funny feeling too? I thought I just had to shit.

Obi-Wan: *eye twitches*

Anakin: *continues reading magazine*

Obi-Wan: Oh yeah. *runs off to Padme's room dragging Anakin*

Zam Wesell: Tra la la la la la la! *throws pineapple through window*

Obi-Wan: Nooooo!!! *attempts to catch pineapple but trips over R2-D2*

Padme: *gets hit on the head by the pineapple*

Zam Wesell: YES! Fear me!

Padme: Zzzzzzzzzz *snore* *drool*

Zam Wesell: Damn. Oh well. *throws Jango Fetts teddy bear*

**Teddy Bear lands on Anakin and explodes**

Anakin: Noooo! My precious! *looks at magazine to see it's unaffected* Tight! Fireproof Nudie Magazine! *huggles*

Zam Wesell: O_O I need to get another one of things. *takes off in airspeeder*

Obi-Wan: Hey! wait for me, I want a teddy too. *jumps out window*

Anakin: Uh. R2, you say here with Padme! *runs off*

R2-D2: Beep blop bloop bleep (time to get horny!)

Anakin: *looks over at airspeeders* Nice night for a cruise *jumps in one of the speeders*

Obi-Wan: *still falling* What the hell. *looks at a watch drawn with a pen on his wrist* I need to draw a new battery. *suddenly lands in Anakins stolen airspeeder*

Anakin: Oh, hi master! *continues reading magazine*

Obi-Wan: AHH! What do you think you're doing?! You almost hit that guy!

Anakin: *ignores Obi-Wan and dodges another airspeeder*

Obi-Wan: WAIT!!! There she is!

Anakin: Who?

Obi-Wan: The bounty hunter!

Anakin: Yeah. so what about her?

Obi-Wan: Follow her!

Anakin: Where is she?

Obi-Wan: *points right in front of them* RIGHT THERE!!!

Anakin: Wait. who was it again?

**Obi-Wan is about to strike Anakin with his lightsaber when suddenly Zam Wesell crashes into a wall**

Obi-Wan: .

Anakin: .

Jango Fett: . damn! *flies over to Anakin and Obi-Wan and hands them a strange Kaminoan dart* Here. use this to find me. *floats off into the sky*

Anakin and Obi-Wan: *stares*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I know, it's too stupid for words! A new chapter will be added soon probably. If you review, please be truthful, and I don't mind criticism, but I find flaming pointless. but kind of funny, enough of my ranting! And thank you Moo for giving me some ideas! Later!