I woke up with a feeling that something was wrong.

It was not one of those I-forgot-to-do-my-homework feelings, it was a feeling that sent my heart on a spurt, and that made my stomach hurt with the intensity of it. Something was really, really wrong.

I opened my eyes and looked up into the ceiling. It was still not completely light outside, and the shadows of the tree moved in the way you see in horror films. I turned my head and forced my eyes to find the alarm clock on the nightstand.

3.37am.

I sighed heavily and pulled the extra pillow over my head. I felt heavy and tired, but I knew that there was no way I was going to get to sleep. I removed the pillow again and sat up, looking through the window and out on the dark night sky.

I had woken up this night the past three years, ever since my sister disappeared without a trace. The same feeling forcing me out of my bed and out into the night. The overpowering loneliness and fright, the feeling that a part of me had disappeared never to be found again.

You always hear that twins are supposed to have this special bond that will tell them how the other felt. An unspoken connection. Well, for us it had always been the case. We had been inseparable, and we had never even faced the possibility of living without the other.

I got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats and a black sweater that lay on the chair beside my bed before I opened the drawer and randomly chose a pair of socks. As I pulled them on I considered breaking the habit I had formed over the past couple of years, but I knew there was no point in trying. I had to get out, and I knew where I would end up.

I tiptoed down the stairs, careful not to wake my dad. Of course he knew that I snuck out, but he understood. I knew he didn't like this day any more than I did.

Pulled on my converse and opened the door as quietly as possible, slipping out as soon as the crack was big enough.

The warm summer night pulsed around me as soon as I shut the door and turned around. It was exactly the same as the night they had called us.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, remembering my father's face when the Clearwater's had called to tell us that Lily hadn't come back from taking a short walk. They had invited us to come along, but I had to stay home with the flu, and dad had of course stayed home with me.

They had expected her to be gone a couple of minutes, after all, she had told Leah she only had to go pee, and that she wasn't allowed to peek at her cards. Leah had asked if my sister wanted her to go with her, in case she didn't like wandering alone at night, but Lily had declined. Lily had never been afraid of the dark; she had always been the brave one. I had been the scared one.

I realized that my feet had led me to the trail into the forest while I had been lost in my thoughts. I stopped and stared into the blinding darkness for a couple of seconds. This was where I had run when I had gotten the news that my sister was missing.

But I had known already before the phone had started ringing. I had gotten the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and hopelessness, and I had had to run into the bathroom to throw up. Of course this had been explained by my father as the flu, but I knew better.

Something had happened to Lily. Something that had left her with a feeling of loneliness and hopelessness. Something that had eventually led to her being taken away from me permanently.

The search party had arrived the next morning, turning every leaf in a five mile radius. Still there was no sign of her or what had happened to her. She had simply disappeared.

But that was four years ago now, and I was slowly approaching another lonely birthday without her. I would turn 18 in September, as would she have.

I mentally corrected myself. She would turn 18.

I would never give up on looking for her, they had never found a corpse, so there was still a chance that she was alive. Perhaps she had gotten amnesia, perhaps someone had taken her in and looked after her. Someone without a TV or a radio. Someone that didn't know she was missing or who didn't know who to contact.

My father had given up a long time ago. When the search party had told him that there was no more they could do he had simply given up. There had been bear sightings the same year, and someone had also claimed they had seen wolves, so he had accepted the most logical explanation and he had let her go.

I hadn't.

Wouldn't I know for sure if my identical twin was dead? But then again; wouldn't I know it for sure if she was alive as well?

I felt a tear escape the corner of my eye and I wiped it away quickly. I had promised myself not to mourn my sister before I had proof of her death. The empty grave my father visited was not enough for me. I couldn't feel her presence there.

I still went to plant a new miniature rosebush every year though, between hers and mom's grave.

I couldn't remember my mom, she had died from cancer when I and Lily were toddlers, leaving us and dad behind. I knew dad missed her, and I knew that losing both her and Lily was taking its toll on him.

He had never shown it to others than close friends and family though. He hadn't even taken a day off work after Lily vanished. That could be because he actually had somewhat control of the situation as the chief of police. He had been one of the men searching day and night to see if they could find a clue of what had happened to my sister.

I remembered those days well.

I had been staying at the Black's house. Billy was my father's best friend, and even though they didn't have much room to spare, considering his three kids and himself were living in a small house, he had managed to make room for a mattress on the floor of the twins' room.

Rachel and Rebecca, though twins, were as different as two sisters could be. Rebecca was restless and adventurous, and she seemed as if she was constantly searching for something different than the life at the reservation. She had gotten married to a surfer and moved to Hawaii only weeks after her eighteenth birthday. Rachel was calm, smart and very intelligent. She loved books, and had eventually gotten a scholarship to a college in Washington.

Billy and Jacob were alone now, just like me and dad. Maybe that was the reason why I had become close friends with Jacob.

Jacob had been a safe harbor in my life for a year or so. He was two years younger than me, which would explain why we hadn't realized that we could actually be friends until Billy and Jacob had been invited over for Christmas when the twins had moved out.

I realized I had frozen on the side of the road, still staring blankly into the darkness. I took the first step onto the uneven trail and reached out for the support of a nearby tree. I carefully put one foot in front of the other, making sure that I wouldn't slip and fall.

I was a natural klutz, always falling over and making a fool of myself. One of the personality traits I hadn't shared with my sister. Lily had been graceful enough to become a ballerina if she wanted to, but she didn't really like dancing. She had however been a decent soccer player.

I wondered if she would have kept playing if she'd been here.

I wondered if I and Jake would have been friends if she was around. I wondered if we would still share the room or if she would have cleared out the storage room on the other side of the hall and moved in there. There was a lot of wondering this night.

I felt my cell buzz in my pocket, and pulled it out. It was a text from Jake, asking me if I wanted company. I had told him how this night usually played out, and of course he would be worried about me. I considered his offer for a moment before I declined. I didn't want anyone around. This was the anniversary of my time alone, and I wanted it to stay that way.

I felt around till I found the fallen tree and sat down. It wasn't too deep into the forest, since I knew I wasn't the safest person to be wandering off into the night. I turned my head and looked at the faint streetlights that barely showed through the trees. If I leaned just a couple of inches forward I got a clear view out at the street, without anyone being able to see me.

As I did this I caught a glimpse of a person on the street.

For a split second I was sure it was Jacob.

"Jake!" I called out without thinking, and stood up so I could walk towards him and scold him for not listening to me.

But as the person stopped, I realized that it wasn't Jacob. Jake had long, black hair that he usually wore in a ponytail. As the person stopped and turned around, the streetlight framed his silhouette and revealed a head of untidy, short hair.

I froze.

The person was standing on the edge of the road, where I had been standing a couple of minutes ago; staring into the same darkness I had stared into.

I comforted myself with the thought that the person wouldn't be able to see me, as there was no light this far into the forest. But the person kept still, unmoving. Not even turning his head to see where the voice had come from. And even though I couldn't see anything but the outline of whomever it was, I could feel his eyes on me.

I shivered involuntary, but kept telling myself that I was too far into the forest. That I couldn't possibly be visible from the road.

I concentrated on breathing as silently as I could.

But then, during the fraction of a second it took me to blink, the person had disappeared. For another fraction of a second I felt relieved, and sighed heavily.

But then two thoughts struck me simultaneously;

1. Whoever it was had stood there for a very long amount of time, staring, from what I had been able to tell, directly into the space where I still stood.

2. Whoever it was had moved so quickly, and so quietly that the speed and level of noise the person made alone would be a reason to be afraid.

I ran out of the forest, barely staying on my feet as my shoes slid across roots and slippery rocks. I barely cast a glance down the road, now empty, before I made my way home. Not allowing myself to stop and breathe before I had shut the front door carefully behind me. Not allowing myself to stop and breathe before I had shut the front door carefully behind me.


A/N

This story will be filled with twists and turns as it unwinds, and I am really looking forward to start it for real. There will be a lot of angst, and of course the Cullen's will appear later on in the story. There will be some romance, but it will not be the main focus of the story. Of course I won't tell you who I am pairing up yet, but I would love to hear what you think.

I won't reveal more than necessary from chapter to chapter, since I want it to not be too predictable.

Of course I would love to hear the reader's theories, and all feedback is good feedback.

P.S.