Okay girls, first of all this is a parody of Twilight. Meaning there may not be very many romantic parts between Bella and Edward, although there is in the begginning to make you guys happy. Secondly, this story dedicated to all of you Jacob lovers, and if you aren't one then this story may aggravate you, but don't send me any hate mail because I'm telling you here not to read it if you tend to grimace when you hear the name Jacob. Thirdly, this story is for laughs...so laugh when you read it! :)

Two Lovers in a Tree

Saturday. A perfect Saturday, it wasn't raining and there was only a mild sun so Edward and I could be outside together. Something very rare lately.

"Bella," he called and his voice sent shivers up my spine. Then he touched my arm and my skin tingled, I looked up and saw his intoxicating topaz eyes twinkling at me.

How could it be that me, awkward, clumsy, bookworm Bella Swan had managed to have this man love me. He's gorgeous, talented, sweet, romantic, strong, …the list is just too long. I sighed and shook my head, trying to dislodge those thoughts.

Edward looked at me concerned, I smiled, "Nothing, I was just thinking about how amazing you are." He smiled back at me and my heart stopped, Will I ever get used to him? Somehow, I doubted it.

He gently took my hand and again my skin sizzled at his touch. He tugged me along and I, slightly dizzy from the feeling of his hand in mine, followed behind in a daze.

He looked down at me, oh, how my poor heart was caught by surprise, and he touched my face to move a few stray strands of hair behind my ear, I blushed.

Then he picked me up and set me on his back. I must have looked confused because he laughed but didn't explain any further than whispering, "Hold on."

It wasn't until we were halfway up did I realize we were climbing a tree. It wasn't too tall, about the same height as the beautiful, colonial-style house next to it.

We stopped, and Edward set me down on a thick branch. He sat down next to me and wrapped muscular arms around my waist and I shivered. He raised an eyebrow, concerned again. I just smiled and kissed his icy cheek.

I looked around to take in the view and saw a small picnic basket hanging from a nearby branch. I turned to look at Edward; he was smiling slyly at me. He stretched his snowy arm past me to reach the basket. This time I forgot to breathe.

He then placed it in my lap and I opened it. Inside was a delicious looking lunch, complete with ham sandwich, grapes, chips and a red juicy apple (I had to put that in here!). I smiled and looked up, "Thank you. You're so sweet." I kissed his nose, "My little chef," he laughed.

He held me tighter and pressed his forehead against mine, his dazzling caramels staring into my chocolate browns. " I love you," he whispered, "and you're welcome." I had to close my eyes to remember how to speak before I could answer, "I love you, too."

Edward moved his lips down to mine and kissed me. It was sweet and tender, with a dash of passion. And even though his lips were chilly and hard it still made me feel warm and mushy on the inside.

We were still embracing, when 11 seconds later (yes, I was counting the seconds, enjoying each one separately), I started to hear a beeping. It was soft at first, but then it got louder until I couldn't push it away as my imagination.

I broke out of the kiss and he looked worried. "Bella?" he asked. "Don't you here that…that beeping?" I questioned him.

He shook his beautiful head and laughed lightly, "You must be lightheaded. I'll go into the kitchen and get you some lemonade. Start on that sandwich, I'll be right back."

He gave me a soft peck on the lips, and then grabbed a branch in front of us and swung down to the ground 15 feet below, barely stirring the air. Wow, it still surprised me how graceful he could be.

I took the sandwich out of the basket and unwrapped the plastic wrap around it. Just as I took a bite I look up and notice that the tree that I'm in is right outside Edward's window. And I can see into his room.

I stop chewing; he's standing in the room with his back to the window. He's reaching up to the lip of his deep purple T-shirt and pulls it up and off over his head.

I gulp and I swear my eyes are going to pop out of my head. He is truly perfect. Even if all I can see is his back, it's obvious there are no imperfections on him anywhere. He walks over to the couch in his room and throws the shirt on it.

Now I can see his porcelain abs, they look tight and hard. I have stopped breathing and I think I may faint. Shutt up, Bella, I tell myself, he's just a guy without a shirt on. But when I glance back at that beautiful figure I realize that I'm wrong. No, he's not just a guy. His body sparkled slightly as a ray of sunlight escaped from the cloud cover. Defiantly not just a guy.