I own nothing of the ANOES saga. All of it's characters belong to Wes Craven. This is entirely for a fun purpose. Enjoy! :)

Dear Lunatic Writers,

I love you guys, seriously, just for the fact that you guys are even more messed up in the head than me with some of the stuff you guys come up with. Me? The Romeo type? HA! Yeah right.

Anyways, thanks for finding me hotter than those sparkling fairies from that book series called Moonlight or something like that. But let's be honest- this sexiness comes at a price, I'm not that easy. And my type isn't emo, misunderstood, pain-loving chicks. They don't get me, just that pain they wanted through via death.

So in conclusion if those stories of yours are those self-insert, I'll gladly take up to that painful death offer you've fantasized for. After all, I am the man of your dreams, aren't I?

Warm regards in my Boiler Room in Hell,

Freddy Krueger