Summary: Iruak decides to relax at a bar after a long mission and meets up with an old friend.

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.


"Oh-oh... Jin." a sweet voice giggled, as a young man pulled the girl of his affections into his arms and sucked on her neck. The young woman giggled again and wrenched herself away from her lover, jogging deeper into one of the many forests scattered around Konoha village. "Are we still going in the right direction?" Haruna inquired as she balanced a duffle bag on her hip.

The man nodded and tried to coax the girl back into his arms, "Ah, yes, just up ahead and then we'll see the Fabled Lake." Jin chuckled, mocking the title. He zipped past the girl making sure to grab her arm and tugged her along, ignoring the signs they passed.

"... Jin, those signs--" the girl began as her eyes raked over a few of them, written in a messy scrawl. 'Turn Back Now.' 'If you like living, leave now.'

The man shook his head, "Don't pay them any mind, I bet a few of those brat kids, placed them up to keep people from going to the lake. Now, come on, Haru-chan." the boy chirped as he gave his girlfriend a final tug and wrenched her into a clearing. The lovers gave a cliché gasp as their bright eyes swept over the beautiful, sparkling lake that lay smack dab in the middle of a secluded valley. The teenagers cheered and ran towards the lake shucking off clothing as they went.

'Don't go in the water!' 'Turn Back, NOW!' 'You'll be sorry!'

"They don't give up, do they?" Jin observed as he reached down towards a mouldy sign that lay just on the bank of the lake. "Fine, I warned you!" he muttered and would have thought more on it when his eyes quickly focused on his girlfriend who slipped off her dress and revealed a very eye-pleasing yellow two-piece. 'I wonder if I can get her two skinny-dip with me?' the man bit his lip to keep his jaw from dropping and tugged his girl into the lake.

The two spent a few minutes splashing water at one another, both noticing the water was indeed salt-water. Something the lovers would inquire about when they returned home. "Oh, Jin, this was such a good idea... after the attack on Konoha and Sandaime-sama's funeral... oh I really needed this." the girl whispered softly as her boyfriend nodded understandingly and drew her in for a hug.

The two engaged into a heated session of seeking lips and wrestling tongues, as Jin urged Haruna into a more natural attire of no clothing, both unaware of the rippling water on the far, far end of the lake.

The couple enjoyed another heated kiss, Haruna giggling when she felt fish nudge past her hip. "Those are definitely salt-water fish." she observed as she saw the silhouettes of the sea creatures swim past her in a hurried motion. Jin made an affirmative noise and went back to sucking on her shoulder.

The young girl moaned. Her head rolled to side, taking in all of the lake: the serene atmosphere, the clear water, the giant fin speeding towards her. The girl's green eyes widened. "Shark!" she bellowed.

Jin scoffed as he kissed the corner of her lip until she pushed him away and began to drag him back to the shore. "Wha-- OH...IS THAT...

"SHARK!"

The couple shrieked as they swam their hardest back to shore, their eyes widening when indeed they saw the fine blue length of the beast. Its mouth a gleaming white of thousands of jagged teeth, if they squinted their eyes they could have seen the tattered remains of a pink collar imbedded between the rows of teeth. The tag marked with the word 'Momo' was long lost in the beast's gullet.

As the two teenagers trampled onto the sandy shore, Jin tripped over another sign, this one embedded in the sand and barely legible but Haruna was able to make it out as she quelled her drumming heart.

'Beware of Shark!' and at the bottom right corner was 'If you survived, don't be mad, remember I did warn you.'

:p:

Umino Iruka sat by himself at the bar of a shady looking pub and inn. A place where the people asked no questions and turned a blind eye The man sighed and continued waiting for his drink as his hand swiped over the bruise on his cheek. His flesh still throbbed but the purpling bruise was a blessing in disguise, it allowed him to fit in more with the people in the bar... the scar on his face, he learned over the years was seen as something comical rather than dangerous.

'Well at least the other guy got his.' Iruka thought as a grin crept onto his face as he puffed his flaring nostrils; he could still feel his fist smashing into the enemy's jaw. After the disaster at the chuunin nominations and the Third's death, every eligible ninja were quickly being assigned missions. Iruka had just finished delivering a few documents to nearby feudal lords with deep connections to Konoha. A people person like himself was able to sweet talk some sense into Lords who were thinking of cutting ties with Konoha or taking advantage of his home when it was weak.

"Thanks." the brunette muttered as a small bottle of sake was placed in front of him. He poured the beverage into his cup and focused on the reason why he stopped at the bar instead of swiftly returning home. 'Here's to you, Sandaime-sama.' the man muttered and took a small sip and cringed at the taste, his teeth scrapping at his tongue.

The brunette clucked his teeth and quickly waved over the bartender; he completely shattered his image as the gruff, silent type as he dismissed his bottle of sake and ordered some tea instead. With a bashful laugh and smile, Iruka raised his cup.

'Now... here's to you Sandaime-sama. I'll-- I'll never forget you, nor will I forget everything you taught me.' the man toasted as true to his word remembered the day when the Third took him aside, and told him about Konoha, about the fire within each and every villager in his home, ninja and civilian alike.

Umino sighed and tugged on his pony-tail, trying to focus his mind. He was sad. He really missed the old man, his mind drifting to the Sandaime's funeral. The scarred nosed chuunin gnawed on his bottom lip as he remembered embracing the weeping Konohamaru; glad he didn't erupt into tears and sniffles, even though his eyes were stinging.

Straightening his shoulders, the man finished his drink in a large gulp, earning a low whistle from the bartender and a few laughs from other patrons. The teacher smiled charmingly and waved over a few of the red faced gentlemen.

"Know any drinking games?" Iruka laughed, earning himself some company and entertainment for the remainder of the evening. The idea of entering into a card game or another game of chance and hustling the men, briefly entered Iruka's mind but he shook his head. He was a responsible adult, not a bratty kid and besides he had left his cards at home.

The bartender shook his head; it was going to be one of those nights.

:p:

Two darkly dressed figures sped through the silent village, their senses on alert to any followers or pesky animals. The taller of the two ninjas hefted his sword to rest at a better angle on his shoulder as he turned to his partner. "I think they've given up." he muttered and rubbed a painted finger against his dark face.

The smaller one sniffed and narrowed his sharps eyes, glaring at the direction they came from. His senses heightened as he scanned the darkening horizon for any stragglers or oddities. Satisfied, the young man nodded to his partner and allowed the tension to ease from his shoulders. His body was still exhausted from his encounter with one of the Sannin and he needed to gather some chakra before they returned home.

The elder of the two ninjas sniffed, and looked down the deserted street, eyeing a dingy looking bar and inn with interest. "I need a drink." he grumbled as he flicked blood off his fingertips, a reminder of the few Konoha ninjas that caught up with them. He removed his forehead protector and began to walk to the building and stopped. "You coming or not, Itachi?"

Uchiha shook his head, "Not right now, I have a few loose ends I need to take care of." the man responded softly. "I'll join you later, Kisame."

:p:

The shark faced man smoothly entered the bar, keeping his chakra low and his cloak tucked neatly around his body as he allowed his hat to cover his face. Kisame sniffed, as eyes automatically shifted in his direction and stayed there. However a few of the customers turned back to their drinks of their own accord and the rest were persuaded when the Akatsuki member shifted the sword in his grip.

Taking a quick glance around the seedy bar, filled with smoke and the sour odour of drugs, Kisame took a quick surveillance of the area. He could sense at least a few half-wit ninjas that were steadily leaking chakra, as for the rest, if there were any others chakra wielders he couldn't identify them.

With a tsk, the man began to make his way to the bar to sit, pushing past a cute little waitress with a very short skirt. He enjoyed the panic looked that fluttered across her sweaty face as he offered her a sharp tooth grin, a playfulness in his milky eyes.

Throwing a heated glare to a particular rowdy group at one far end of the bar, Kisame found a seat, resting his sword awkwardly to the side. The bartender eyed the weapon with a frown but quickly fetched the missing ninja's beer when he requested it.

'Not even fit for pigs... I suppose you get what you pay for.' the man concluded as he eyed the grimy glass but gulped down the alcohol anyway, he needed something to moisten his dry tongue from the roof of his mouth. He swiftly drained the glass and gave a burp of satisfaction behind his hand. The man knitted his brows together when he saw a purple chain of bruises on his right arm.

'Damn those Konoha freaks. Their hits barely even touched me.' Kisame rumbled and felt his hackles rise when he heard another round of laughter from the group further down the bar. There was a sound of shattering glass, then another round of laughter. The blue skinned ninja snorted, urging away his irritation. "Come here." he growled and grabbed a waitress walking passed him. He grabbed the drink from her hands and set her on her way with a glare as she was about to open her mouth to complain.

"Hmph." Hoshigaki huffed, and raised the glass to his mouth. "What the..." he grunted when a coin ricocheted harshly against his glass, shattering it and spilling its contents onto his lap.

Kisame raised a brow; he could suddenly hear the laughing had died down just as soon as his eyes acquired an angry tick. "So that's how it is." he muttered to himself as he allowed the stupid fools to witness him take a dangerous step forward and vanish from most of their sights. The shark faced man's hand clenched tighter around the stocky man who shot the coin. He pressed the jagged fragment of glass to the man's throat. "I hope you can pay for that." the man snarled.

The terrified man screamed within his closing throat and wheezed as his bar mates cringed and left the scene. "Huh, speak up. You gonna pay or what?" he asked and then felt a cool pressure wrap around his wrist, tightening oh-so gently. Kisame's eyes narrowed as he followed the brown hand to the unlucky fellow to touch him, Hoshigaki's eyes widened in surprise.

"I'll pay for it." the man stated as the drunken fool was released from Kisame's grip and took his chance to leave. The brown skinned man quickly released his hold, but Hoshigaki paid it no mind as he gawked at the stranger's face. He noted it was no longer round and soft look, since the last time he saw him but in its stead was a firm looking face with a strong and heavy jaw. There was the same perky ponytail, but without the bangs shielding his eyes, and the scar, the scar on his nose was as funny looking as ever.

The blue skinned ninja smirked and set the broken glass on the table, as he took a seat next to the frowning man. "I'd appreciate that very much, Umino Iruka." the man purred tracing a finger against the scar on the man's nose.

The Konoha ninja blinked and shifted his head to disconnect the contact between him and the strange man in front of him. "Who are you?" the Academy teacher questioned his eyes narrowing when the man continued to pet his scar.

The man merely laughed at Iruka's disgruntled face and began to lightly scratch at the mark.

Iruka smacked his hand away and tried to control the venom in his voice, "I asked you a que--." the man was interrupted as the stranger placed his thumb on chuunin's lips and abruptly shoved the digit into the teacher's mouth. The cloaked man then began to rub his thumb against Umino's tongue. Iruka bit the thumb, but the attack went ignored.

"You haven't changed a bit Iruka, still a loud-mouthed brat, but at least you grew some." the stranger breathed as a nostalgic looked crossed Umino's features. Kisame grinned and removed his hat as Iruka gasped, his mouth giving a comical pop! when he released the digit.

"Shark-- errr, Kisam--"

"Nice to see you again, ninja brat."

:p:

"You certainly have changed though." Iruka said against his glass and sipped the beer Kisame had offered him, his mind still objecting that his old friend had swiped it from a petrified waitress, but the deed had been done and she had allowed it with a shaky smile.

Hoshigaki rounded his beady eyes on Iruka, "Oh, how so?"" he purred as he placed his elbows on the bar.

The Konoha ninja took another sip from his drink; Kisame had made a few changes to his appearance. The greatest was the colour of skin; the hue of the flesh is a darker blue than before, very different from the ashy looking blue when he was a teenager. The sclera of his eyes was nothing but black and his pupils a milky white, making him look even more of a watchful predator.

The shark faced man smirked, flashing a row of sharp teeth. "Well." he prodded, the smirk on his face stretching the three gills on each cheek.

Umino barked a laugh, "It seems your attempt to completely look like a shark has pulled off." the younger of the two ninjas snubbed, "You look even creepier now than you did as a teenager." the man chuckled trying to get a reaction.

The jounin sniffed, a very frank look graced his face as he captured Iruka's chin and hauled him in close, "And you haven't matured at all, you bastard." the man growled, giving the man's chin a small squeeze and then released the teacher. 'He's smells like leaves basking in the sun and dry bark. Like the bastards who had been chasing me and Itachi for days. Like Konoha... is that where you're from, Iruka?'

Kisame smiled as if he figured out something very important and Iruka took note of it. "And why are you looking so pleased with yourself?" the scarred nosed ninja inquired as he finished off his beer and wiped the droplets away from the corner of his lip.

"Because you're going to buy me a drink, for the one you and your lot smashed." Hoshigaki laughed as the chuunin glowered. "Did you think I forgot?" the man questioned with a sniff and quickly emptied his glass. "What were you and those idiots doing any way?"

The brunette rubbed his nose in embarrassment and then tapped his knuckles. "Oh, just a silly kid's game," Umino began thinking of the boys in his class and had a hard time not mentioning them, "You take turns spinning a coin with your fingers and whoever makes the coin fall has to display their knuckles and get shot with the coin." the man explained with a laugh, remembering a few years ago, Naruto's mulish face as he sucked on his bleeding knuckles after recess.

The Akatsuki member snorted and crossed his arms, "And what was the alcohol for?" he asked.

Iruka grinned cheekily as he waved over the bartender for another drink "Nothing really, but drinking makes anything funnier." he crowed and flashed Kisame his left hand, his knuckles free of bruises.

Hoshigaki nodded and took his glass, "Don't try to trick me, your right hand looks a bit raw." the man said, eyeing the cut flesh.

The chuunin lazily waved his hand, "No, I got that earlier, a little… skinship problem." he explained with a smile.

The missing ninja frowned and took a closer look at his right hand, the wounds looked like it could've been made by the fangs of an animal, a summon. Kisame reached out to finger the bruise on Iruka's cheek. "Just the tricks of the trade and considering that you're alive and have the time to play stupid games with a bunch booze hounds, you completed your mission." the man sighed and leaned in closer to his younger companion. "Care to tell an old friend, what was your mission?"

The brunette took a sip of his beer and shook his head, "No. No, not really." he said calmly and went back to his drink, trying to ignore the change in mood. The school teacher eyed the large, wrapped weapon that leaned against the bar at Kisame's side and then eyed his pouting companion. 'Looks like a kid denied dessert after a meal... I suppose I should coax him form his little snit.'

The chuunin titled his head and pouted, making sure his old friend got an eyeful. "Mou, I'm hungry." the man piped up and hid his snickers behind his hand when he heard Kisame grumble something rude under his breathes. "What about you, Kisame? For some reason I suddenly have the craving for a big bowl of shark fin ramen. What do you say, I could treat you."

The blue skinned man curled a black fingernail against the bar, scratching the wood. "I say you're as crazy as ever. Your shark jokes are getting old and it's not like I haven't heard that line before. Besides..." He hissed and narrowed his eyes wickedly at Iruka. "If were having sea food we dine on bottled nose dolphin, starting with the beak."

Instead of commenting with a witty retort, Iruka let the jibe slide, he had also heard enough dolphin jokes to last a life time and most didn't effect him... unless the jester got really creative or in most cases vulgar.

In a much calmer mood, Kisame allowed a grin once again to twist upon his lips as a thought crossed him. He tilted his head, "Speaking of sharks, whatever happened to the one I gave you, what did you call it...?"

"Momo," Umino interrupted smoothly as he took another sip of his drink a tingle going through his stomach, showing a good sign he was starting to feel a bit tipsy, "Ah, she started to get a bit heavy so me and my folks ate her." the chuunin laughed sheepishly and witnessed his companion go even bluer in the cheeks.

"ATE her! You ate her!" the older of the two yelled as he grabbed Iruka's collar and gave him a shake. "Why'd you eat it, the least you could hav-- you're playing with me aren't you, smart ass?" Hoshigaki growled as he released his old friend with a click of sharp teeth.

The brunette nodded and flashed Kisame a smile. "Momo's doing well although due to her living conditions she never grew to a normal size, but what she lacks in size she makes up in spunk. When I started training her, she made it her goal to rip me to shreds."

The missing ninja smirked "Sounds like she grew up fine, too bad she wasn't successful in her goal and couldn't chew something off. I'm pleased my well-thought gift didn't end up in your gullet."

Iruka swivelled in his chair, a concentrated look on his face as he seemed to debate on something. He nodded, "The way you're acting, it's as if it was some sort of dowry." the scarred nose man sniffed and straightened in his seat when Kisame began to curl his lips away from his clenched teeth, ready to snarl something.

"Thinking back on it, you had crush on me didn't you Kisame or at least were trying to hit on me, unsuccessful as it was."

Hoshigaki rumbled deep within his chest, the snarl on his face was fierce. He was prepared to deny Iruka's cocky accusations and bark something mean and nasty to shut him up, however...

Kisame blinked, his anger slowly slipping away as he took in the flush on Iruka's face. The younger of the two ninjas smiled awkwardly as he began to rub his finger against his cheek in embarrassment, a light shade of red streaking across his scar. The jounin could feel a flush upon his face as well and the pooling heat in his stomach. The shark faced man exhaled softly, calming himself down and nodded.

"Yeah, I did have a thing for you back then, remember Iruka, I even offered to whisk you away." he flirted, offering the chuunin a toothy smile and was pleased when the teacher smiled back.


Author's Rant: This was a bit of a bitch to write, with real life issues getting in my way all the time. I might have abused the Naruto time-line(maybe), all I know I should have looked stuff up but I didn't. This is another story that was self-edited but I do have a KisaIru beta whose editing my two earlier KisaIru stories, but if more people want to beta send me an e-mail. On my lj account you will find the NC-17 version of this story where there is a scene with sexual content(lemon ahoy), that is my second time writing sexual content so feedback would be appreciated. Thanks for reading my rant.