Glad I Didn't Die Before I Met You
Here's a one shot based on a line from the song First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes. Instead of Quinn getting into the pre-wedding accident, it's Puck. Something random to pass the time. Are there still Puckleberry fans out there? :)
"Puck, wait up man." Finn grabbed Puck's arm after Glee practice. Puck stopped and turned around, not sure of why Finn's voice struck a nerve in him. With Karofsky's attempted suicide, Rachel and Finn's sudden wedding plans, and Regionals—Puck didn't know how much more he could handle.
"I need a favor. Well, not really a favor. But I need to ask something. I know you and I have had some struggles the past couple of years, but you'll always be my best friend. And—" Finn looked and sounded nervous. It put Puck on edge.
"Hudson, spit it out. You sound like your fiancée." Speaking of fiancée, Puck noticed Rachel stalling in the background. It was obvious she was listening to Finn and not listening to whatever nonsense Kurt was going on about.
"Ok. Puck, will you be my best man?" Finn asked proudly. Puck didn't see that coming.
"Sure." Puck said, not believing he even let the word come out his mouth so quickly. Finn even looked shocked, but wasted no time barreling into Puck with a hug. He soon felt another pair of arms wrap around him—these arms much smaller and farther down his torso. Berry.
"Oh Noah! I'm so happy you said yes. I know it's so last minute and sudden, but Finn and I decided that life's too short. I'm so glad you support us on this. It really means the world to the both of us." Rachel went on. Puck just nodded, ignoring the way Rachel's body heat clung to his body. He shook his head to erase that thought and backed away from the overwhelming couple. Rachel went on about tuxedos and flowers and dresses. A celebration dinner. Finn nodded in agreement. Puck stared at the both of them, wondering if Finn could actually keep up with any of the words Rachel was saying.
"Berry, just make me a list. I've got to jet." Puck said. Rachel's eyes gleamed at him, reflecting her excitement about preparing another list.
Later that evening when he was making buffalo wings and fries for his sister (she and Puck had the same appetite, thankfully), there was a knock at the door. He and his sister glanced at each other, knowing neither of them were expecting anyone. And their mom was at work, so it wasn't her.
"If it's one of your stupid friends, tell them it's homework time." Puck complained. Sarah's friends were annoying and all they did was sing a lot of Justin Beiber and those Disney kids. His sister grudgingly went to the door and opened it, presenting Rachel on the doorstep.
"Rachel!" Sarah exclaimed.
"Sarah, how are you?" Puck rolled his eyes at the scene. It was as if Sarah and Rachel didn't see each other weekly at Temple. Every Friday, Sarah would come home going on about how amazing Rachel sounded at children's Temple and what songs they sung. Whatever. While they had their personal chat, Puck continued cooking because he was hungry. Although, he didn't miss the folder that Rachel held in her hand. The list.
Eventually she made it into the kitchen and sat at the bar. Surprisingly, she didn't say anything as Puck doused the wings in hot sauce (cause he and Sarah liked 'em hot). In fact, she didn't say a word until he looked at her.
"Hello Noah."
"Sup Berry. I assume that's the list of my best man duties. Go ahead." For some reason, Rachel sitting in his kitchen bugged him. And he kind of wanted her gone. The sooner this was over, the better.
"Oh. Uh, alright. Here's a copy for you." Rachel opened the folder and handed him a sheet of paper. She had the same paper, except hers had a ton of handwritten notes to herself.
"Did you have to study and make notes before you came to see me about it?" Puck wondered aloud. Rachel looked embarrassed, but began. Puck glanced over the list. The first part of it was about his appearance and attitude—so basically he had to look good and be on his best behavior. Got it. Be on time, that's obvious—besides, they were all going right after Regionals anyway. Hold the rings. Did Finn even have a ring?
With the ring conversation, Rachel fished in her purse and pulled out a ring box. She slid it over to Puck, who unconsciously stepped back from the counter.
"I'd like your opinion on it." Rachel said. Didn't she have a maid of honor for that shit? Puck picked the box up, ignoring the gnawing feeling he was experiencing, and opened it up. It was a silver band. Simple enough.
"There's an engraving. On the inside." Rachel said. Was it him, or was her voice soft and—what was the emotion? Nervousness? He plucked the ring out and eyed the engraving.
Forever yours, faithfully.
Puck wanted a drink. This whole thing was so incredibly fucked-up. Finn and Rachel were getting married. Rachel was in his kitchen, asking his opinion on his best friend's wedding band. And yet, Puck still couldn't shake the "what if" feeling. What if he and Rachel actually had more time? Would he be sitting at home and Rachel at Finn's place, giving him a best man checklist? Hm. Fuck no, not even Rachel Berry could make him marry while he was in high school, but still.
"Noah, what do you think?" Rachel broke him out of his thoughts. He was still staring at the ring and quickly put it back into the box.
"Looks good." He said. Who the hell cared? Well, obviously Rachel did because she let out a breath and gave him a wide grin.
"Wonderful. Now, we're going to be doing a lot of moving at Regionals. Would you mind leaving the rings at your house until after we win—" Rachel gave him a cheeky smile. "And then you can come home and pick them up? I trust you enough to leave them with you, but I'd prefer if they stayed here and you just come get them afterward."
"Yeah, whatever you want." Puck mumbled. He was hungry, so he went back to cooking while Rachel went on.
"Can I help?" She said, right after explaining about how tasteful his best man's speech should be at the following dinner.
"With the speech. Tell me what to say, sure." Because Puck didn't want to come up with anything anyway.
"No, silly. With your dinner. Baked fries are actually healthier. You can pop them in the oven with your wings." Rachel said, coming into his kitchen. No more than 30 seconds later, they'd completely switched places. Puck was sitting in her place at the bar and Rachel was moving around his kitchen, putting frozen fries in the oven and making her homemade dip that would "go perfect" with the meal.
He was thankful she got off topic from the wedding. She was whisking something together, going on about cooking something with her dads the other day and something exploded. Something. Puck wasn't paying attention, just trying to look anywhere but her. Or that ring box. Eventually, he took out his phone and played a game.
"Do you think I'm crazy? We're crazy?" Rachel asked out of nowhere.
"Huh?"
"The wedding. I can't tell if you approve or disapprove or you're just going through the motions because you're a good friend to us." Rachel said. Puck was surprised she said "us." He hadn't been that good of a friend to either of them, honestly.
"I don't approve or disapprove. But I don't get it either." Puck said honestly.
"Fair enough. You don't have to get it. But you're supporting it anyway and I appreciate you for it. You're a good guy Noah. Even if you think you'll be dead or incarcerated later in life. Which I absolutely think you're selling yourself short, but I won't go on about that." Rachel said, smiling. She placed a bowl of creamy white sauce in front of him, quirking her eyebrows at him to try it. He stuck a finger in and tasted it. Heaven.
"I can tell that my work is done based on that grin. Enjoy my special sauce and see you tomorrow Noah. Let me know if there are any questions. I'm going to take Finn his copy so he'll know what to expect from you." Rachel poked him in the arm as she walked by, said goodbye to Sarah, and left.
Of course, they kicked ass at Regionals. They were offstage with their trophy for all of 2 minutes before Rachel was ushering Puck out the door to get the rings. Turns out, Finn actually had a wedding band for Rachel as well. Good for them.
Puck wasn't even ashamed to belt out the songs they just performed at Regionals during his drive to his house. Strutting into the house with the music still on his brain, he quickly changed into his Rachel approved suit (she's seen him in it enough times—the only one he wears to the special events in Lima's Jewish community that his mother drags him to). It wasn't until he grabbed the rings that he realized the gravity of the situation.
Holy fuck. They're getting married. It wasn't even his forbidden feelings for Rachel that freaked him out the most. Finn and Rachel were making a life step. Like a real adult thing. And all Puck could do is hope to graduate and to be in jail. What the hell was up with him? For moments like these, Puck's good friend JD came to visit. He'd only have a small sip since he obviously couldn't show up to City Hall wasted. Not only would someone probably try to arrest him, but he was pretty sure that'd break about 4 of Rachel's wedding day rules. The burn felt good in his chest and he didn't give himself a second to process anymore unwelcome thoughts before he grabbed the rings and headed out the door.
As soon as he cranked up his truck, his phone alerted him to a new text message. It was from Finn, asking where he was.
"Chill out beanstalk. I'll be there in a sec." Puck said to himself, turning up his tunes and blasting down the street. His phone buzzed twice, right after the other. Puck glanced down and saw that Finn sent a super long message. He wasn't even going to try to read it. Besides, he figured it was Finn being super emotional about getting married. It occurred to him that one of his best man rules was to be supportive of Finn if he needed to talk (meaning, cold feet). Well, it was wedding day and a little too late for that.
When he got to a stoplight, he finally read Finn's message. It was the longest, sappiest, lamest, gayest thing ever. It ironically sounded like a text you'd send to someone before you offed yourself.
On my way. Puck wrote back. Within 10 seconds, Puck had another text. Puck groaned and checked it before the light turned green. It was from Rachel.
Hi Noah. Are you close? Puck figured they were trying to be all traditional and get ready in separate rooms before the wedding.
Yes. Puck wrote. He was going to write more, but a car near him blew, so he put his foot on the gas thinking he'd been stalling at the green light. He only had a split second to process the oncoming truck to his passenger side. He felt the sensation of flying and everything went black.
He could hear voices, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. And he couldn't see anything or move, so that certainly didn't help him figure out if he was dead or not. Then he slipped back into darkness.
"Mrs. Puckerman, it's still too soon to tell. The internal injuries are sustained. Thankfully, his broken ribs didn't puncture any organs. The broken arm will heal nicely. We just need to get him conscious to assess any possible damage." Hearing the doctor confirmed to Puck that he was alive. But his body was unwilling to respond when he wanted to open his eyes or move. A wail from somewhere near him startled him in his barely conscious state. Puck could recognize that cry anywhere. He'd caused it enough times before to know that it was his mother. Succumbing to the darkness was a welcome experience.
"Noah. Mom's worried about you. I was too at first, but I know you wouldn't leave us. I love you big bro." Sarah kissed his hand. Although they were rarely affectionate, Puck appreciated his sister being near him. He also was glad she wasn't crying. Someone needed to be there for his mom, he thought in the back of his mind.
One by one, Puck had different visitors. Of course, no one dropped a hint about what time it was or what day it was. What if he'd been unconscious for weeks?
"Puck, hey buddy, you're going to make it through this. We're all rooting for you to wake up, get better, and get back to practice for Nationals." Of course, Schue'd be bringing glee up.
"Emma, I don't know what to do. The kids are completely shaken up. First Karofsky and now Puck's accident. I feel like nothing is in my control, so I can only imagine how a group of teenagers feel." Will remarked.
"Oh Will. The doctors say Puck will most likely be fine. We've got to stay strong for them. They're all shaken up, especially—" The darkness took Puck again before he could find out who was especially shaken up over his accident.
"Squeeze once if you can hear me. Don't squeeze if you can't hear me." Brittany yelled in his ear. He flinched internally, but he wasn't sure if his body reflected that.
"Britt, honey." Santana said. Puck didn't get how Santana was so patient with Brittany and so opposite of patient with everyone else. Must have been love.
"Puckerman, this is ridiculous. Even when you were drunk, you were still the best driver I knew. Do you remember when we—nevermind. Why don't you just get your lazy ass up already? If you wake up in the next 3 seconds, Britt and I will make out in front of you." Santana said seductively. As much incentive as that was, Puck couldn't will his eyes to move.
"With Lord Tubbington." Brittany added. Incentive lost and Puck went back to sleep.
"Noah, sweetie. I just want you to wake up. I've always told you to be so careful with your phone and you didn't listen to me. The other cars near you said you were texting, Noah. How could you be so careless with your life, even though it wasn't your fault? That truck ran the red light, but I've always told you to be a defensive driver." His mother cry-lectured. Even in a half-dead state, she was pouring on the guilt thick. Right before he drifted off again, he heard her cries muffled. She must have been hugging someone.
"C'mon man. I feel so guilty. I was the one texting you. I can't believe this." Finn started to cry and Puck forced himself back into the darkness. Hearing the jolly green giant cry was too much for him.
"He's still not awake yet. Do you want to leave and come back tomorrow?" Finn asked.
"No. Not yet." Rachel said. Puck felt her holding his hand, her fingernail digging into palm. The comfort Puck felt radiated throughout his body.
"Ok. I'll go down to the café and check on Mrs. Puckerman and Sarah." Finn said. Puck's senses were heightened, so he could hear Finn's footsteps retreat out the room (sounded like he still had on dress shoes) and the sigh of relief Rachel let out when he cleared the room.
"Honestly Noah, you've got to wake up. My nerves have been shot all week and if you don't wake up I will be ready to throw in the towel. And I never want to give up." Rachel started. Puck felt like that was the beginning of a long monologue and for once, he actually had no choice but to listen.
"Having not one, but two classmates come so close to death really has opened my eyes. Why care? Why dream? Why get married? We have no real choices in life. Because we're all going to get hurt. And die. And why make these arbitrary choices, like getting married after a singing competition? Why?"
Hearing her anguish hurt him more than the dull ache he was starting to feel all over his body. As much as he forced, his eyes just wouldn't open. His hand wouldn't move to stroke hers.
"You know, I think our parents were even against the whole thing. When then ran into the hospital, I rushed to my dads in tears. The first thing could do is console me about the wedding and encourage me to have one a few years later. I didn't give a damn about the wedding. I was crying over you, hoping you're okay. Because I couldn't stand to know that you died, Noah. And what's crazier, is that I can't figure out why I'm so upset and heartbroken right now. We're friends, and you aren't dead and they say you'll be fine, but—"
But what Rachel? Puck thought in his head.
"Noah, I want to tell you a secret. And I'm so glad that you can't hear me right now. I used to think that we'd be together. Like even before the time we dated for a week. Like during middle school, I'd fantasize that we'd get older and get married. I'd be a successful Broadway star and you'd be my husband. I used to picture you as a stay-at-home dad, but in recent years I've updated you to a successful business man. I'm pretty sure your pool business steered me into that direction."
"Anyway, we'd live in New York with 2 kids. Preferably, a son first and then a daughter. I always loved how protective you were of Sarah. I wanted that for our kids. That was as far as I got until we dated in high school. Then I had a sex dream about you after we broke up. Even more mortifying is the dream I had with you and Finn a few days ago. That was bizarre and... amazing at the same time?"
Holy shit. Berry having sex dreams about him? Puck could almost die a happy man.
"You've had such a rough life Puck. My biggest wish, besides you waking up and walking out of here, is for you to be happy. And out of jail. And alive." Rachel let go of his hand and stood up. Puck grabbed the sheet where her hand should have been. He figured that she didn't notice because he could feel her close to his face.
"I guess I better go for the night. Your mom has been so nice not to kick me out once today." Rachel whispered softly and kissed him on the cheek. He could hear the clicking of her heels move farther away from him and he didn't want to be alone. He didn't want her to leave.
Puck opened his eyes and the lights in his hospital room were overwhelming. But not as overwhelming as seeing Rachel's retreating figure. Still wearing her wedding dress.
"I'm glad I didn't die before I saw you in your dress." Puck croaked. Rachel whipped around and ran to the bed. Her moving so fast made him dizzy and—fuck, his head was throbbing.
"Noah?" Rachel squeaked, fresh tears running down her face. "I have to call the doctor and your mom! Oh Noah, I'm so—"
"No." Puck forced out. Gosh, he was thirsty. "Give me a sec." He just needed a moment to himself before everyone crowded in the room.
"I'm so happy. You have no idea how worried I've been." Rachel said, holding his hand tightly.
"Why?" Puck asked. He never found out an answer because the nurse entered the room and discovered he was awake.
"Are you sure you don't want to be the best man anymore?" Finn asked him. He looked absolutely crushed and Puck rolled his eyes.
"I'm positive. The last time I tried, I almost died. Kurt will be perfect and he can be best man and maid of honor. Besides, I'm not in the mood for a speech." Puck said. One would think that Finn and Rachel would stop trying to get married after big events, but here they were trying the wedding thing again after the graduation ceremonies.
"This is such a big day. The first day of the rest of our lives, man. You'll be off to California in a month. I can't believe you got a job at a pool company. It's exactly what you want to do." Finn gushed. He almost sounded like Rachel, who practically got the job for him. She organized his resume and references within like an hour and helped him shoot it over to different pool companies in the LA area. He barely had two pennies to rub together, but he found a roommate online who didn't seem sketchy. His mom absolutely hated the idea, but she wouldn't dare stop him from something he was actually motivated and excited about.
"Plane tickets to New York are gonna be steep. I'll have to catch you back in Lima. If I ever come back." That translated into Puck telling Finn that he'd miss him. Finn understood and grinned widely.
"There you two go. Come on, we're about to march out." Rachel called, beaming at the both of them. Puck smirked at the smile Finn returned to his soon-to-be bride. They were idiots for getting married so young, but if it worked for them, who was he to judge.
The wedding ceremony was short and to the point, which was good because Puck was pretty hungry and ready to eat. The atmosphere was so lively that Puck actually verbally admitted that he was happy for the bride and groom. He had a blast reminiscing with his teammates over the Glee drama that they'd miss and made plans for them to hang out before they all disbursed around the country in the next few months.
He planned on leaving but Rachel called him over for a dance before he could escape. It was kind of awkward, dancing with his best friend's wife, but he couldn't refuse the bride on his wedding day.
"I'm very happy you're here for this wedding." Rachel said softly, thinking of his accident a few months before.
"Me too. Because it sounded like you were giving up on all your hopeful nature while I was knocked out."
"Yeah I was—wait, you heard me? You were awake?" Rachel stopped dancing and looked at him.
"I don't know what I was. But I could hear everything off and on." Puck said, forcing her to move again.
"What else did you hear?"
"Are you wondering if I heard the part about how you fantasized about marrying me? Or your dream about a threesome with me and Finn?" Puck asked. Rachel's eyes widened. "Hot dream Berry. Well, Berry-Hudson. Hudson. What are you going to go by?"
"Berry will be my stage name. Berry-Hudson will be my official, legal name." Rachel clarified.
"Anyway, Berry. Just for future reference, I prefer two chicks and one dick." Puck said, winking at her. Rachel slapped his arm.
"The things you'd say to a woman at her wedding."
"You're barely a woman babe. Trust me, I know." Puck said, realizing he needed to clean a couple cougar pools before he left. Give his old clientele a goodbye visit, you know.
"Noah, you don't know the half." Rachel said. "I really wish you well. I'm so happy for you."
"Same." Puck said. He really meant it. Sure, there was still a trace of that nagging "what-if," but it was just as bankable as Brittany Pierce getting into Harvard or something.
"Promise me you'll keep in touch. It's what I feared the most while I helped you prepare your applications."
"Chill out. You're still my hot Jewish-American princess and Finn's still my boy. I don't plan on calling you lovebirds every day, but I'll send a text once a year."
"As long as you're not driving." Rachel reminded with a smile.
