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BPOV
Today was the start of a new life - a new journey. As skeptical as I was with anyone who told me everything was going to be just fine, I found myself hoping that it would. All I needed were my smokes, leather jacket, my iPhone, and well, Alice. I really didn't give a fuck about anybody except for my dad Charlie, my mom Renee, and my best friend Alice. She was the only person who "got" me. I had told Alice I wanted to pursue a career in acting and she was the only one who didn't scoff, laugh, roll her eyes, or tell me the odds of making it were slim. Only I knew my fucking odds, nobody else did. I had made that pretty clear when I bitched out a chick at my old job Newton's one day for sputtering any morsel of her opinion. She was infantile and she didn't fucking matter.
Ever heard that saying "I love to do what people say I cannot do?" That's true, but I prefer to say, "I'm going to do it because you don't fucking think I can." And the fact was that I truly felt acting was the only thing I knew how to do. I knew deep down inside I would eventually make it. It was almost drowned out with doubt and insecurity, of course, but I would make it nonetheless. I would be the first celebrity not full of themselves. Who didn't flaunt off their Dolce and Gabana sunglasses, their Coach purse, and their twelve million dollar paychecks. It was out of style; actually, it was never in style. Instead, I would flaunt around my torn skinny jeans, converse, band T-shirts, and my wayfarer Ray Bans. Yeah, that was way cooler.
It had taken me a while to believe I actually wanted this. I had been in denial for most part of my career choice. When I told my mom that I was moving to Canada with Alice, she had given me the speech on how she thought I was making that wrong choice. About how I should really think about it, and that there are more "professional" jobs out there that would last, that I was an introvert, and too shy to go out there and act. Thanks, mom! Not only did I want to grow and evolve into somebody new, I just wanted to finally be myself. I wasn't outgoing and spontaneous as Alice was. I was a closet introvert (that part I couldn't argue with Renee) and I liked to suffer in silence. Over the years I lived in Forks, WA, I had made some friends, yes, but I also made a lot of enemies. I looked back at all the people I had encountered and I cringe at over half of them. I often wondered and asked myself what the fuck I was thinking. I'd encountered pathological liars, losers, assholes, the old your-so-boring-I-want to-scratch-my-eyes-out type people, nerds, complete bitches. The list goes on and on. I didn't have time to go through the whole list; I had a fucking plane to catch. Though, through my infantile encounters, I had met some pretty amazing people. My friends, who were my foundation and defined who I was, were the ones I would continue to waste my time on.
I packed the rest of my things in my suitcase, put my leather coat on, and threw my backpack over my shoulder. I grabbed the handle of my luggage and took one last look around my room. Though I couldn't wait to be in my own room in my own apartment, I would miss this piece of shit that had been my room - my solace away from the ever-prying eye of my overprotective parents. "Goodbye, shitty room." I sighed and gave out a small smile while I remembered some of my memories in this house. They were now just a part of my memory, not my reality, and I loved it. I titled my luggage and pulled it out of the room, closing my bedroom door behind me. I fought with my belongings all the way down the stairs, the suitcase banging each step on the way down. "Don't help me or anything! I'm good!"
"Oh, honey, here, let me help you," Renee offered.
"No, Mom, it's cool. I got it. I'm already down here. Where's Dad?"
"He went to move things around in the car for your…" she trailed off, wiping the pathetic tears off her face.
"Mom, please. I'm only going to be one hour away. Really, everything is going to be fine. I'll have Alice."
Before I knew it, I had both Renee's hands tightly gripping the sides of my face, kissing my cheeks and forehead. "Fuck, Mom, stop."
"Don't swear, Bella! You are my only child and you're leaving me!" she cried. Wiping her face and pushing her hand through her hair, she collected herself. "Bella, be in the kitchen in five minutes, your breakfast will be ready."
"Mom, I can get something at the air-"
I was interrupted by another one of Renee's sobs, and I turned around and left her to it, walking towards the front door.
"You will eat breakfast here in five minutes. I don't give a damn what you have to say about it!" Ah, Renee, trying to be stern while she was an emotional wreck. I internally laughed.
"Really, Mom? You're going to be rude to your daughter in the last half-an-hour you have with her until Christmas?" Guilt tripping Renee was too easy. I was pro at giving guilt trips; I could own the whole fucking travel agency. Renee humored me by crying again, stating she was going to put extra chocolate chips in my pancakes. She was too easy. Don't get me wrong, I loved my mother, but the idea of me moving to Canada caused her physical pain. I was slightly concerned for her health at this point. Dumb, loving Renee.
I finally made my way outside and walked to my truck, taking in her vintage beauty for one last time. I was going to miss my old beat up excuse of transportation. I ran my finger across her rusted exterior, and took a look at the interior. The cigarette holes I burned through the seat, the shitty quality of the speakers; the stench of tobacco, evergreen deodorizer, and mint.
"Hey, kid. Why don't you just bring your baby with you?" Charlie called.
I snapped out of my stupor and looked over at Charlie. "What? No, I can't." I shook my head. "I want to start fresh." Charlie quirked his eyebrow and rolled his eyes. "Don't roll your eyes, Dad. You wouldn't understand…I just wanna start fresh, that's as simple as I can put it. Be a new person, discover new things." I glanced over at Charlie, noticing him trying to stifle the laugh that was threatening to come out of his mouth.
"Uh huh. Anyway, while you think of ways to be a new person, put your luggage in the trunk and meet us inside for breakfast. Your mother thinks her world is ending today, so you know, be easy on her, Bells." I raised my hands in mock defeat and turned around, walking towards the house. "That's what I thought," he said.
I had the urge to give him the finger, but I knew it wouldn't go well. I couldn't wait to arrive at Sea-Tac Airport. It's not that my parents were bad to live with, they just pried, asked me where I'm going every time I left the house, harassed me about my judgments I made for my future, and harped on me for my smoking habits. Whatever possessed me to leave? I grabbed my luggage, hauled it out to the car and fought with it, trying to get it in the trunk. I let out a sigh and dusted off my hands. Yeah, I was smelling freedom and now I was dying to taste it. I needed to finally get hell out of this life sucking dump people loved to call Forks.
I was finally at Sea-Tac Airport with Alice by my side and we were on our way through security. I could still feel Renee's open mouthed kiss imprints all over my fucking face and her extra chocolate chipped pancakes beating up my stomach. I knew that was a bad choice of food, considering I was going to be sitting on a plane for a god awful three hours.
"Bella! This is so exciting!" Alice squealed.
"Yeah," I answered mechanically.
"Uh, don't tell me you're having second thoughts about this, Bella. I'll kill you!"
"Calm the fuck down, Alice. I'm not having second thoughts. My stomach is my enemy right now."
"Ah, pancakes. I don't know why the hell you ate those to begin with." Alice gave me a confused looked before she kissed her plane ticket and threw her baggage on the belt.
I watched how happy Alice was and I wished I could have her enthusiasm. But I did wish my spirits were a bit more heightened. I knew my time in Vancouver was going to be unforgettable, but there was something lurking around me, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I don't know if it was because I was second guessing myself, or if I just needed a Camel Light in my mouth. I needed something.
"Miss, take off your jacket and place your bag on the belt. If you have any electronic devices on you, place them in the plastic container as well," the security officer rudely demanded.
I quirked my eyebrow up at him and tossed my bag on the belt, resulting in a quirked eyebrow back at me. I took off my jacket and placed it beside the bag.
"Any electronic devises on you, Miss?"
"No, it's in the bag."
"Miss, as I stated, you have to take the electronics out of the bag and place them in the plastic container," he said flatly as he took hold of the plastic container and shook it a bit. Acting as if I didn't know what it was.
"Jesus, you don't have to be so rude," I answered back.
"Miss, if you wish to pass security, I suggest you do as you're told."
I shook my head in annoyance and clicked my tongue. "All right, there ya go! My electronics in the plastic container."
"Thank you." He looked at me and smiled victoriously. Jerk.
"Bella, please don't cause problems," Alice pleaded as we walked away from security and towards our gate.
"What do you mean 'problems,' Alice?" I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders.
She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. I don't need the security officer to haul your ass off to, well, security! We need to get to fucking Vancouver, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you stop this from happening." She took her wallet out of her purse and looked back up at me, smiling. "Now, I'm going to get a coffee before we get on the plane. You want one?"
I looked at her stunned. "Alice, I am so proud of you." Really, I was. She was a complete bitch and that was a proud moment for me.
"Uh, why?" she questioned.
"Uh, because you just told me off and it was fuckawesome! I am very proud of you. Soon enough you'll have your bitch personality perfected."
"Jesus Christ, Bella." She shook her head and laughed. "One milk, one sweetener. Right?"
"Yeah. Look, I'll just meet you at the gate?"
"Sure." Alice gave me her carry-on and sauntered off towards the Starbucks kiosk.
Finally, we were seated on the plane – eleven rows away from each other. Of course things wouldn't work out for us. Of course fucking not! I wanted to call up American Airlines and tell them they did a fucked up job on our ticket sales.
"Excuse me! I specifically stated I wanted to have two seats beside each other," I bitched to the flight attendant.
"I understand, Miss, but-"
"No, I don't think you understand," I looked at her name tag before I went on, "Lucy. 'Cause if you did, my friend would be sitting beside me in row seven and not the window seat of row fucking eighteen!"
"Okay…Please just calm down." Calm down? Things weren't going my way, and I could feel my blood start to boil, hearing the ring in my ears. Nothing pissed me off more than something not going as planned. As what was stated on my itinerary. "I know the seat beside you is empty, but we still have some passengers to board the plane. How about we wait until everybody is seated, and if a passenger is not assigned to the seat beside you, we can move your friend up here. How does that sound?"
"Not good enough, but I guess we have to wait for the late passengers!"
"Miss, they're not late."
"Whatever." I kicked up my knees, pressed them against the seat in front of me, and took out my iPod. I blasted Cigarettes, Wedding Bands by Band of Horses in my ears. They at least understood and made life more bearable. I closed my eyes and lost myself into the song.
I was rudely interrupted by a hard tap on my shoulder. I ripped out my left headphone and glared up, seeing Alice smiling at me. "Hey! We get to sit beside each other now! Move your knees." I brought down my legs and let Alice squeeze by, plunking her boney ass on the seat next to mine. "You were a bitch to the flight attendant, Bella."
"Well, Alice, you would think because we spent over one hundred dollars for this fucking ticket that we would get what we asked for. Am I wrong?"
"No, but you could have been nicer. You're cursing like a sailor."
"Shut up, Alice. I don't need your 'be saved by Jesus, good Samaritan' crap!"
Alice laughed at my mood swing. "Oh, Bella, you need a smoke. You're just getting nasty." She took a book out of her purse and turned to the page she left off at.
"No, I don't! And I am not." I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at the T.V screen in front of me. I knew I wasn't looking at her, but she rolled her eyes. I could tell.
We heard the pilot start to talk through the speakers, telling us what to do incase our flight crashed. I could simplify the five minute long message in five seconds. "Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye."
"Also, please hang tight, folks. We have a technically difficulty and there is going to be a slight delay in the flight. Sorry for the inconvenience," the fucking pilot informed us.
"For fuck sake!"
"Man, Bella, I don't know what is up with you. When was the last time you had a cigarette? You're bitch scale is gonna explode!" Alice laughed, and patted my shoulder.
I growled at her and told her to shove it up her ass. "Miss," I called to the flight attendant. "How long is this 'technical difficulty' going take? We have plans in Vancouver."
"A lot of passengers have plans in Vancouver, Miss. I just got informed it can take anywhere from one to two hours for the plane to be up to par."
I heard Alice choke on her coffee because she knew what was to come. Fuck my life. I needed a Camel Light in my mouth ASAP.
