"Just before you go…" The Texan General began… "I want to warn you…"
"Yeah, yeah. Be careful of Jaffa, we know. Let's go team!" Jack interrupted having heard it all before. The gate activated and SG1 stepped through the gate. Sam waiting for a second.
"That's not what I was going to say!" He yelled after them but they had all gone through. "Stupid Colonel O'Neill"
On a planet, the Sam stepped through, walking backwards, and the gate disengaged. She turned round and noticed that her fellow team mates had fallen into a large pool of mud. The mud was up to their chests.
"I think I know what General Hammond was trying to tell us."
"Thanks Carter." Sam looked around and moved off the platform onto an un-muddy patch of land. "Are you going to help us out or not?" Sam looked at the three men before giving her reply.
"You know what they say, mud is always good for the body. Let me see… " And then she launched into a little song. "Mud, mud, glorious mud, nothing quite like it for cooling the blood."
"What?" Jack quickly said in confusion and to get her to stop singing.
"Never mind." She said
"Well then, shut up and get us out of here."
"Sorry sir, you're on your own."
"That's an order Major!"
"There's no way I'm going anywhere near that stuff."
"It's just mud."
"But it does stink a lot." Daniel said.
"I concur." Agreed their friendly Jaffa friend.
"You guys are not helping." The colonel looked at his two mates who were also in the mud.
"I suggest we go back home cause the Jaffa will be able to smell you all a mile away
"Carter! Get us out now!"
"Sorry no can do."
"Sam!" Jack grabbed a handful of mud and threw it at Sam, but she managed to dodge out of the way. Jack was just about the throw some more when Daniel interrupted him
"I've found a way out Jack, follow me."
"Why do I get a bad feeling about this?" Jack quietly said to himself. He began to move off following Daniel, but he soon suddenly stopped. "What have I just trodden on?"
"What did it feel like?"
"Like a snake."
"I too believe I have stepped on a reptile."
"Same here." All three men looked at each other.
"Let's get out slowly, but quickly." They began to move when Sam suddenly shouted….
"Sir! Behind you!" Jack spun round and came face to face with a very large head.
"Forget about the slowly part. Move, move, move!" He shouted and all three men rushed out of the mud as three serpent like creatures tried to bite them. Then got to dry land and rested to catch their breath. Jack looked back at the muddy pool and watched as the serpents went back under the surface of the mud. "That's why I was getting a bad feeling." He then realised something was missing. "Oh great!"
"What?"
"I dropped my gun in there!" Jack pointed at the mud and Sam began to move over to her friends.
"I too have lost my weapon in the mud pool"
"Well, go back in and get them." Said Daniel as he began to wipe off as much of the mud off him as he could.
"There's no way I'm going back in there. You go."
"Me? But I haven't lost my weapons. You should go."
"I'm in charge here!"
"Are you all ok?" Sam stepped in to stop the argument.
"Yeah, we're all in one piece. No thanks to you."
"She did warn you about that thing behind you."
"Shut up Daniel!
"Shutting up." Daniel said as he went back to work getting rid of the mud.
"No, keep talking, Daniel. It's annoying him." Sam urged.
"You keep quite and that's an order!" Jack raised his voice and pointed at Daniel.
"Not Military, orders don't work on me." Daniel reminded the Colonel.
"I didn't really want to be reminded of that. What exactly were those things in there?" Jack pointed at the pool.
"I think it was a Hydra."
"A what?" Sam questioned.
"A Hydra. Nine headed snake."
"Thought they were just a myth."
"Well you were wrong."
"So I see. So what is it doing in there?" pointing at the pool again.
"I conclude that it is protecting the gate. Seeing as the three of us were not prepared for the mud it makes an excellent trap that most people would be unaware of." Teal'c suggested to his comrades.
"Good thing I was taking note of General Hammond's warning."
"Why does she have to be Miss Goody-Two-Shoes?"
"Because she's a girl, and girls are usually like that"
"A girl?" Sam was a little offended by being called a girl – even if it was Daniel that had said it.
"Girl, woman, female, all the same thing."
"No they're not! Girls are young females, and women are older females. Big Difference!"
"All right, enough! Let's finish the job we came to do and get out of here."
"I do not believe that is a wise decision Colonel O'Neill."
"Why not?"
"As Major Carter pointed out, any one would be able to smell us if we got within a few metres of them. We would be detected before we knew it."
"Ergh! Yuk!" Daniel suddenly shouted out.
"What is it Daniel?" Said jack sighing.
"This is Gross!"
"What is?"
"What we've just fallen into."
"It's just mud."
"No it isn't. I just realised that if there's a living creature in there. Urgh, it's horrible just thing about it. Bleurgh!"
"It's a hydra. So what? Big nine headed monster that could easily kill anyone…"
"What do all living creature do Jack? Urgh. I need to get back to SGC and have a shower with lots of soap!" Jack was now starting to feel a bit queasy.
"I really wanted to know that Daniel." Jack said, heavy on the sarcasm.
"Sorry but you did ask."
"You were making strange noises and I was curious as to why you were making them."
"I'll call SGC at tell them to get de-contamination for you guys."
"What about you?"
"I don't need it. I haven't been in that stuff."
"Carter?"
"Yes sir?"
"Dial home."
"Yes sir." She moved over to the DHD and punched in the numbers then pressed the big red button in the middle. Nothing happened. She tried again. Still nothing happened. She tried a third time, but still the gate would not activate.
"What's the hold up Carter"
"The gate won't work."
"Where are you trying to call?"
"Earth"."
"Try somewhere else." Sam nodded her head in acknowledgement, but nothing happened.
"It's still not working!" (The three men stood up and moved over to the DHD, Sam backed away from tem and the smell. Jack gave her a strange look.
"Looks like we're stranded." Daniel said.
"Great" Jack was having fun with his sarcasm today.
"Well, look on the bright side."
"What bright side?"
"No one will want to attack us and capture us smelling like this." Jacked looked at Daniel in annoyance.
"Good thinking, although I'm at a disadvantage because I don't smell like you do.
"You just had a lucky escape. Why don't you jump in so no one will want to take you as their prisoner?"
"And get killed by that… that hydra? No way. I'll take my chances with being caught rather than smelling bad."
"Colonel O'Neill. What do you suggest is our next course of action?"
"Find a nice pool of clean water and try and get this muck off us before it hardens and we won't be able to walk."
"And I think this is the best way to go."
"Why?"
"Because there are Jaffa that way!" She pointed to a large group of Jaffa who had their staff weapons charged and pointing at SG1.
"Run!" Jack quickly shouted and the team scattered with the Jaffa hot on their trail. "The damn Hydra has my gun!"
"Shut up jack and keep running!" And they did. Sam soon found a cave and they all quickly rushed into and hid. The Jaffa ran past and were soon out of sight. The four members of SG1 began to catch their breath back. "That was a close one."
"A little too close for my liking."
"Ok boys, jump in." Sam called from somewhere deeper in the cave. The men followed the sound of her voice."
"What do you mean 'Jump in'?" Jack asked?
"Nice clean water." She said, pointing to a pool of clean water.
"Well done Carter."
"Now, off with your clothes."
"Excuse me?" All three men looked at her.
"You can't exactly take a wash in your clothes can you? I'll leave the cave and keep an eye out for Jaffa while you wash yourselves and your clothes.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." Sam left the cave and the men stripped down and jumped in the water. After a couple of hours of washing and drying the men came out of the cave, their clothes still a bit damp, but at least they didn't smell and were cleaner.
"All nice and clean now?" Sam asked from her position in the grass. She was lying down sunbathing.
"As clean as we can be thank you." Jack said with a very small smile."
"Good." Sam jumped up. "Now let's get home." She began to walk off.
"I thought the gate wasn't working." Daniel called to her.
"It wasn't. but I went back and reset the power grid. Dialled home and sent the MLP back through."
"Good for you."
"So now we'll be able to get back home and you can have a proper wash, with soap."
"Wait a minute, what about the mission?" Daniel asked.
"There is no longer any mission Daniel because we've been seen. We can't continue cause they know we're here, and they'll be out looking for us. Ok campers, let's go home." They left and soon arrived back at the gate. That's when jack noticed something in Sam's hands. "What have you got there Carter?"
"Got sir?" She said trying her best to look innocent and trying to hide the object at the same time. Daniel began to dial home.
"Yes, the thing in your hands behind your back. What is it?"
"Oh this?" She said and held up a camera.
"That's a camera isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"Have you taken any pictures with it?"
"Yeah." She nodded her head and began to smile. "A couple of the cave, with you in it."
"What? Give me that!" Jack leapt forward to grab Sam but she dodged out of the way. The gate activated. "Give me that camera now Carter!" Sam darted through the gate and was gone, but Jack was hot on her heals and soon he was gone.. Daniel and Teal'c just looked at each other and casually walk through the gate.
