Summary- Ratchet's having a bad day and decides it's time for the med bay to have its own rules. Seems simple enough to follow..

Author's Note: I know these really aren't allowed, but before anybody reviews and moans to me about how 'illegal' this fic is on this website, I plan on making individual drabble chapters based off of each rule. Kinda like little stories that go along with each one. :P

So please, give it a chance. If anybody has any rules they'd like to see put in action, let me know! :D I'll gladly accept rule suggestions and be sure to include credit to whomever suggested them.

Also, very important: If any of the rules below happen to already be created by somebody else, I sincerely apologize. I literally just thought up all of these right now, so I did not copy off of anybody.


Due to recent activities, I, Ratchet, Chief Medical Officer, have finally taken time out of my schedule to jot down a few 'Rules of Wisdom'. All must be obeyed.

1) First things first. No, you may not borrow my tools. If something or somebody needs fixed, come to me and I'll assess the situation. I keep count and track of every tool in my med bay. If one is missing, I will find you and will beat your aft to kingdom come.

Besides, 'Sunstreaker and Sideswipe', I know what you do behind my back with my tools and the last time I checked, playing 'horse shoe' with them was not on your schedule.

2) Just because it fits does not mean it should go there. I'm quite sick of mechs (Sideswipe and Sunstreaker to be more specific) coming in and disturbing the peace in my med bay because a slagging human got stuck somewhere they should not be.

3) Humans are only allowed inside a Cybertronian when said Cybertronian is in an alternate mode. The only excuse is if we are under attack and the Cybertronian needs a quick battle plan.

The following excuses will not be accepted:

-You claim to have had a loose wire or cable and Humans are the only species capable of squeezing in tight spots to fix it. If this is an issue, Mikaela will suffice for the situation just fine. She is a mechanic, you know..

-You 'could've sworn' said Human got out of your alternate mode before you transformed.

-The Human decided to play hide and seek and use your body as the hiding places.

-Just because Annabelle looks 'cute' scaling Mt. Ironhide, does not mean it should be happening. Sarah was not pleased and I don't feel like dealing with any injuries that happen from stupidity. Nor do I feel like dealing with Human, hormone-possessed women.

Once again. No excuses except for battle.

4) If I'm busy, then that means wait until a more appropriate time to come and bother me. (Unless it is an emergency). No, 'I had too much high grade and am currently throwing up all over the place' does not count as an emergency. That goes to Ironhide, the Twins and any other aftholes who think so, too.

5) Just because you're leader or head in charge.. Optimus.. Will.. does not mean your place in line jumped from last to first. I have a busy schedule with check-ups that cannot be rearranged. Deal with it.

6) Never take a tool out of the med bay and hide them. Ever. The last time that happened, I was more than happy to conjoin a couple twins..

7) Hiding my tools inside the med bay counts, too. Don't do it.

8) My name is Ratchet. Spelled with an 'R', not an 'H' and you would be wise to remember the difference.

9) There will be absolutely no 'sexism'. Besides myself, Mikaela is the only other certified mechanic around here. She asked me to make this rule for her. She's a female. This is not a synonym for 'weak', 'feeble-minded' or 'idiotic'. She knows what she is doing and should be treated with respect. She has tools, too, mind you, and her aim is just as good as mine.

10) Last and hopefully least, (unless more incidents occur and I'm forced to make more rules), Any mechs or femmes who think it's okay for their holoforms to consume Human beverages and foods, think again. I'm not cleaning up the mess when your sorry aft transforms back into bipedal mode and vomits all over the place. You will get sick. Don't do it.

Any questions? Come to me in the med bay and I will gladly answer all to the best of my abilities. If I spot anybody breaking these rules, they are promised to go through numerous levels of torment and anguish, provided by yours truly.

Thank you and have a wonderful life.


So, whaddya think? :D