*Caption: "Six months earlier."*

I kneeled, there in that great hangar bay at Demon's Run. Fear and grief bordering on madness surged through me as I cradled her in my arms. That flame red hair was soaked through with sweat and blood and her incredible, haunting eyes were dulling swiftly. She tried to speak, and I frantically told her to save her strength. Then my beautiful, wonderful, impossible Pond's eyes fluttered closed for the last time ever and her head swayed limply back even as her hand dropped to the floor. I screwed my eyes shut in agony and proceeded to scream and scream and /scream/. I rocked her back and forth, still screaming and I don't know if I'd have ever stopped if River and Rory hadn't gotten me into the TARDIS and dematerialized.

The next days were a blur, a phantasm in my memory. We buried her decently, back home in Leadworth. After that, we all went our separate ways. Rory stayed behind and River, well, was River. I've been alone ever since.

Welcome to my world. I'm the Doctor.

Amy had it just wrong. Idris was always there, yes. But I had two constant companions that hung on my shoulders every second of every day; death and loss.

My hands shook as I put her picture on the console and the tears started all over again. That old, familiar knot formed in my stomach and I suddenly couldn't bear it a second longer. I shook my head and dried my tears. Her death wasn't right and it wasn't fair and I would be thrice damned if I'd bear it a second longer.

Except for all my determination, I couldn't seem to actually /do/ anything until I noticed something I hadn't even thought to check for months - my answering machine. There were months and months of occasionally rude variations on "Doctor, would you please pick up the phone?"

But then came that last message. River had been looking at pictures from the funeral, you see, when one in particular caught her eye for the first time since that day. One detail, I should clarify - Amy's hand. Specifically, it had no wedding ring.

My breath seemed to stop as the implications hit me. Amy would never remove her wedding ring, not for any reason at all. She'd sooner have had her /hand/ removed. There was only one possibly explanation - whoever we buried, that wasn't Amy.

Therefore.. Pond was /alive/!

I materialized in Leadworth, and with the aid of psychic paper I convinced them I was Detective Inspector McCrimmon from Scotland Yard. I can't say I was sanguine about what I had in mind, but I /had to know/. If I was wrong, I was about to hate myself even more than before, it was possible. In short.. I was going to exhume the grave.

The workers performed the exhumation and I ordered them all away. With rather a lot of grumbling, they did just that. I took my sonic screwdriver out of my pocket and whirred it at the casket, popping the seals. I felt nauseous as I reached for the lid. With a shuddering breath, I lifted it and froze where I stood.

Because there was no body inside the casket at all. What there was was yellowed, puddled Flesh. The Amy we buried was a Ganger..

I closed the casket and ran out of there, just ran back to the TARDIS. I shut the doors behind me and dematerialized, my hands on the console the only thing keeping me standing. She was /alive/, that was the only explanation! Amy was alive, she was likely being held captive and as the cosmos is my witness, Amy Pond, I am coming for you!

I couldn't believe the feelings I was having. Get hold of yourself, Doctor, she's a married woman. She's your best mate, you've known her since she was seven, for pity's sake! You can't.. I can't feel that for her, it's not right!

But there it was, and there was no getting past it. That smile, that hair that looked like someone took flame and spun it into silk, those incredible eyes that always saw right through me.. oh, Gods in their heavens it was time to face it. I loved her. My hearts seized up at the realization, but it was nonetheless true. I was in love with my best friend, my impossible Pond.

I sank into the jumpseat and the tears just started to come and wouldn't stop. I'd let her down so badly, I felt so bloody useless. Oh, Amy.. can you ever forgive your half witted old raggedy man? Please be alive, please.. I need you.

I went to Torchwood, I went to UNIT, I went to every place I could think of to get the even vaguest hints I could find to Amy's location. What little I found kept pointing to something that didn't even make sense, the Clerics. But we'd scattered them to the four winds, the Headless Monks had disappeared and the Silents were on the run.

But it was all I had and so on I pressed. What I found was that they had one hideaway, one last refuge. Whatever was there, they were guarding with absolute zealotry. They thought they were safe. They thought whatever they were doing there was free from discovery. They were wrong, and they were about to find out just how wrong they were.

Amy..

I was like a bloodhound with a scent for the next month, chasing down this lead and that. But then the day finally came, and I found myself standing like a statue on a hill overlooking Area 51. Suddenly, a lot of things were making a lot more sense than they ever did before. My eyes closed in anger, more fury than I had ever felt before was coursing through my veins. I didn't have an army at my back this time, but I wouldn't need one.

I once said there's one thing you never put in a trap. If you're smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never, ever put in a trap - me.

God /help/ you if you put somebody I love in a trap like some rat in a maze. You won't even have enough time to regret your ultimate mistake.

I imagine they were shocked when the explosions started. I hazard a guess that they were even more surprised when their comm arrays didn't function and their vehicles wouldn't so much as twitch. I walked between explosions like some mad god and stared down one soldier as he aimed his rifle at me. When it wouldn't fire, I batted it out of his hands with one blow.

"Where.. is.. she?" I growled. When he pretended ignorance, I threw him aside and sonic'd open the door he'd come out of.

A crowd of soldiers appeared in the hallway as soon as I cleared the doorway. I heard a score of safety catches being released. I turned to face them, ice cold and expressionless, and one of them actually fainted on the spot.

"Take me.. to Amy Pond.. /now/."

It was then I heard a kind of sibilant rattle. I ignored them utterly. I was so focused, so driven, even /they/ couldn't stop me. /Nothing/ and /nobody/ was getting in between Pond and I.

Imagine that, would you? The Silents.. utterly insignificant and utterly ignored.

I later learned there had been two Silents. Two, that was all. It didn't even matter. They could have had the race entire there in front of me and I couldn't have been stopped.

Chaos was in full bloom all over the base as the explosive charges I had remotely set with the TARDIS were going off, one by one. Suddenly, the lights went out and I heard a.. no, I heard /two/ soldiers emerge from a doorway ahead of me. "End of the road for you. spaceman."

I stopped in my tracks, alright. I set my sonic to work as a torch, and held it up under my chin. A cheap theatrical trick, but I found out after that one of the soldiers say I'd have scared Satan into becoming a choirboy with that look.

"As I said, take me to Amy Pond. /Now/."

One tried to stop me but the other showed sense and clubbed his partner in the head, taking me off down the hall. In the back of my mind, it struck me again that this was far too easy, but I wasn't exactly thinking straight.

The soldier opened a door without a word, and there in silhouette, bound to a chair with bowed head.. was Amy. Her eyes stared straight ahead and she didn't even seem to notice I was in the room. I walked up to her, my anger gone of the instant and I stroked her cheek - just before I felt a sharp blow on the back of my head and I sank to the floor, swimming in a haze of pain and cursing my own stupidity.

"I knew you'd come," hissed a familiar voice. "You had to, eventually. Now we've got you, and this time, /Doctor/, you'll never escape. You'll watch your /precious/ Amy die and there will be nothing you can do but watch it happen."

I rolled over onto my back and had time to register the familiar, hated face of Madam Kovarian before oblivion threatened to claim me.

When I could register anything, I found I was sitting in a chair, arms bound behind me and facing my poor Pond. Oh, God Amy.. please.. please forgive me.

Kovarian went to Amy and actually slapped her, hard. Twice, and her head could only sway limply with each blow. I let out a scream of anguish, straining against the ropes that bound me

I sat there, limply, crying my hearts out as Kovarian smirked, returning to stand before and pull my face up by my hair. "You perfect fool. You could have saved us all so very much trouble by simply dying at the lakeside, but no. I suppose we should have seen this coming, but that's what backup plans are for, eh?"

Kovarian regarded me for a long moment before wheeling a medical tray over to me. "You know.. I said I wanted to make you suffer, make you watch your precious Amy die. But she's a shell now, empty. There's nothing left at all. So I think you and I are going to have a little /fun/." She held up a rather nasty looking scalpel by way of emphasis and grinned like the madwoman she was.

She tickled the scalpel along my throat, causing a trickle of blood, but all I could see or feel was regret that I'd never see Amy freed, now. All I'd done, all the worlds I'd saved and the people I'd helped, it was all over because of a blaze of total stupidity. Kovarian rose the scalpel high - and froze, her expression one of total shock. Why, you ask? Because, I suspect, of the nearly foot long IV needle that was sticking out of her throat from the back. As she dropped, I saw the looming shadow who had killed her.

Amy..

God, all Amy could make was little whimpering sounds and grunts as I lead her away from Kovarian's dead body. The demon of Demon's Run was dead, and by Amy's hand. The base was like a sepulchre by then. It was as though with Kovarian gone and my mischief having been wrought, all life had drained from this little corner of Area 51.

When we neared the TARDIS, Amy's eyes showed life for the first time and she gave a little moan, reaching a trembling hand for the doors. My hearts died inside me a little as I thought of what she possibly could have gone through, but instead I opened the doors and in we went.

She barely made it into the jumpseat before collapsing into great, wracking sobs that nearly tore a hole in me. But I did the only thing I could /do/, I sat beside and held her close, rocking her gently as she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

I stroked her hair and brushed away tears when I could, but it was important she get this out. I wanted her to know she could trust me, and on some level I think she did. She'd probably been drugged to Hades and back, but I was going to stand by her come what may.

Welcome home, Amy Pond. Welcome home.