Bloody Roses

I couldn't sleep. Pictures of our last night together were playing in my mind, so every time I shut my eyes, he was all I saw. His goofy, arrogant smile, his flame colored hair, and his sparkling blue eyes kept creeping into my mind. I sat up in my bed, looking out my window of the Teen Titan's Tower. I had to forget him. I just had to. He was gone and was never coming back. His job as a Titan was more important to him. Sure, he'd tell me I was his whole world and treated me kindly, but I could always tell he loved to run and play the hero more.

My clock read six in the morning. No point trying to go back to sleep, so I got up and slipped on my skirt and my half-shirt that ended at my ribs before grabbing my mini bags that I hooked to the belt of my skirt. Pulling on my cutoff, hot pink gloves, and my boots, I walked out into the darkened hallway. Moving through the halls, I passed the other Titans' rooms, even the one that belonged to him. However, I stopped outside his old door. I made the biggest mistake that moment. The door slid open, and I walked in.

The walls were still covered in posters and pictures of his friends, mainly me and the other Titans. It all seemed too perfect compared to what it looked like before he left. His room was so messy because he was always zipping in and out, so papers would fly everywhere, and his chair would be knocked over. Even the posters and pictures would be grasping onto the wall as they tried not to fall. His bed was never made, and his normal clothes would be scattered all over the floor. You would think, a super fast guy like him would have time to clean his room and save the world at the same time.

Now, his bed was neatly made, and his desk and chairs were straight and orderly, but his clothes were gone, as well as his papers and books. He took those with him, even a few photos, but most of them were left behind, especially the ones that were of us, and only us. They were neatly piled in a box on his desk. I grabbed the box and sat down on his bed. As I looked at each picture, more and more memories flooded into my mind, and the tears were beginning to well up in my eyes. There were so many of us hugging, holding hands, or maybe just us smiling and posing for the picture.

I placed the tear soaked photos back into the box and put them back on the desk. I couldn't find the strength to go anywhere else, so I laid down on his bed, my head resting on one of the pillows, but when my hand reached under the plush cushion, I felt the glossy surface of another picture. I pulled it out from under the pillow and almost choked on my tears when I saw it.

We were standing on the roof of the tower, and he had his arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me closer. The sun was setting in the background, so the angle the picture was taken at made our bodies become covered in darkness, but it was all too obvious what we were doing. He had his lips pressed to mine as we kissed. I turned the photo over, and on the back, he had written, "Mine and Eli's first kiss. February 14, 2010." I remembered that day all too well. Valentine's day: our very first Valentine's Day together. Robin had snapped that picture when we weren't looking, and we nearly killed him because we were upset he did, when in all reality, we weren't.

Now, my ability to hold back as much of my tears had abandoned me. They were pouring out of my eyes. I hugged the pillows tight to my chest as I sobbed. I couldn't hide it any longer. I missed him and wanted him to come back, but I knew that he was gone. He told me that when he left, he wasn't going to come back, that it would hurt him too much to leave, then come back, then have to leave again. He said it was for the best, but in my eyes, it was for nothing but the worst.

I felt a gust of wind blow past me, and my eyes immediately shot open. I couldn't believe my eyes. Standing in the doorway was my red headed, blue eye superhero.

"Kid?" I gasped. He tried to smile, but his attempts failed as his mouth formed into frown again. I shot up off the bed and ran to him. He stepped closer, his arms opened wide as I tackled him with my hug. "Oh my God, it's you! I can't believe it! I'm so glad to see you!" I sobbed, staining the front of his red and yellow costume with my tears. He wrapped his arms around me, one rubbing my back, the other brushing their fingers through my hair.

"Eli…" he whispered, "…please…don't tell me you've been like this since the day I left…" I shook my head.

"I've missed you, yes…and I've cried as well, but this is the first time I've actually cried as hard this. Now, that you're back…oh, just please don't leave me again. You see what it's done to me?" He pulled away and looked me in my eyes with his own two blue ones. He brushed my tears away with his thumbs before kissing my forehead, just like he would do before to help cheer me up.

"Eli, I…I'm not staying…" he replied, "I just came back to get something…I was hoping I could zip in, then zip back out without being noticed…I'm sorry Eli. I can't stay…I just can't…" He walked back to the bed, and I just watched him. He picked up the photo and folded it up before slipping it into his uniform. I leaned against the doorframe as I did my best not to collapse to the floor. My body was trembling ferociously now.

"Please…" I begged him, "…please, don't go…if you leave, I…I just won't be able to go on…" He pulled me back into his arms for another hug.

"You went on pretty well without me, so as long as you don't venture into my room, I think you'll go on just fine…" He tried to kiss me, but I leaned away.

"Well, you thought wrong Kid…" I said, "…you think I've been doing fine? Well, I haven't! I can't sleep without you suddenly popping into my head! Why do you think I'm up so early! I try, and try, and try to forget you, but it's not possible! You chose the worst time to leave because the day you told me you had to leave, was the day I realized that…" I stopped, the words catching in my throat. I swallowed hard as I looked back up at his face, "...that…I LOVE YOU!" I screamed, my knees finally gave out as I collapsed to the ground, "…and you can't tell me that you didn't feel the same way because I know you did! You still do too! I can see it your eyes, and if you care enough about me, you won't leave me again!"

I could tell that he was about to break down because I saw the tears welling in his eyes.

"Eli…I ca-"

"Don't tell me you can't. We both know all too well that you can!" He sighed, knowing that I was right. "Please…" He placed his hand under my chin, lifting my head up. He pressed his lips to mine, and I could feel it. He was telling me he loved me too, but there was more to the kiss. He was telling me goodbye. When he pulled away, the corners of his mouth were forced downward, and I knew I was right.

"I love you," he whispered. Before I could say anything, he was gone, and he took my heart with him this time. I crawled the few inches out of the way of the doorway and sat in the hallway, my legs pulled to my chest, and my head buried into my knees as I cried harder than ever. I felt the wind pick up again then disappear. I lifted my head, and in front of me was a small vase with a beautiful, red rose. I pulled it from the vase, gripping the stem tight in my hand. I didn't care for the thorns. I didn't care for the blood running down my hand onto my skirt, and I didn't care for the pain my hand was in because my heart hurt more. The ache that now resided in my heart was masking the stinging sensation in my hand.

"Eli, is that you?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Robin walking down the hallway towards me. I stood up, using the wall as a support. As he got closer, the more his face seemed to sadden in worry.

"H-Hey…" I stuttered, "Umm…did I wake you? If I did, I'm sorry…I…I didn't mean to…" He could hear the shakiness of my voice as I talked, and when he stood next to me, I knew he could see the tears.

"Are you alright? Why are-"but then he saw the room I was standing next to, and the rose that was starting to drip with my blood. "ELI! Your hand!" He grabbed my hand, causing the rose to fall back to the ground. He turned it over to check my palm, and it had deep slits through the skin from the thorns.

"He left it for me…" I whispered, "…it's all I have left of him, and I didn't want it to disappear and leave like him…that's why I was holding it like that…I didn't want it to go away!" Robin pulled me into his arms to calm me down. He had never seen me cry, so this was new for him. As I started relaxing into his arms, the more my tears fell. I couldn't stop, and it felt like I never would. "Why did he have to leave?" I asked aloud, "Why did he have to go?"

"Look, he had a job to do…it wasn't his choice…" he said. Yeah right, I thought, but I didn't say anything. I knew something deep down inside of me was saying that he had to leave, but I didn't want to listen to it. "Come on…let's get your hand bandaged up, and maybe I'll let you spend some time with the Titans East as a…vacation. You know, to let you relax and get your mind off of things." I nodded. He carefully picked up the rose and vase, and we started walking towards the living room. However, I stopped outside my bedroom door, causing him to do so as well.

"What's wrong Eli?"

"I just want to put the rose in its rightful place," I replied. He nodded, handing me the vase and rose, and I walked into my room. Setting the rose down onto my desk, I felt the tears beginning to slow. I had cried the limit. My eyes were all out of tears. Robin gently touched my arm, snapping me out of the trance I was in as I looked at the bloody flower. I looked at him, and I could see the kindness in his eyes. I hugged him one last time before he led me to the living room. Wrapping my hand in gauze, he carefully fixed my cuts.

The faint feeling of the stings never went away though. Not even today are they healed. The pain I still feel is because of him. He's like a rose. Its beauty and color draws you in, and you want it, and you love it. When you touch it though, all it does is hurt you with its thorns, but you don't want to let it go. The cuts in my heart are because of him, but I still love him. I always will.

The End