I in no way own Grey's Anatomy or its characters….
Suddenly
Addison stretched her long limbs; contentment kept her lying in the bed for a few more minutes. She took to the time to study the shadows that crept across the ceiling in the darkened room thanks to the open shades on the windows. The hotel suite that she had been living in since the divorce had been a comfortable one; so comfortable in fact that she was taking her time looking for a new place. Once she took that last step, it would be the final acknowledgement that her marriage was over, that she had failed. Derek was happy now, the haunted look that had been in his eyes for the last eight months was gone. Addison was glad that he was happy. She was also glad that Meredith was happy. Throughout the whole ordeal that poor girl had been the ultimate victim. They all deserved a chance at happiness, but it was hard sometimes to realize how things had happened and where it left her. Her once organized and planned life no longer existed. Except for the consistency of her job at Seattle Grace, she was free floating. Her emotions were constantly changing: sometimes facing the prospect of living life alone didn't bother her; sometimes it did. Yesterday it did.
The day started like all other days. She had had a few early surgeries lined up and then would take them as they came. The morning seemed endless; excitement over the new clinic and possibly a new head of surgery (if the Chief really decided to retire) had the four attendings scratching at one another's throats. Well all of them except Addison. Her strategy was a little more subtle, more feminine. Let Derek and Burke go head to head and then calmly, quietly step in when they had beaten one another to a pulp. The same went for Mark. He actually believed that he had a chance that the Chief would even consider him; it was an amusing idea, but if he did Addison would cross that bridge when she came to it. The only thing that seemed to be ruffling her feathers yesterday, other than the toxic patient who had all the surgeons either sick or trying to get sick, was Alex Karev.
He was everywhere. Whenever she turned around he was either sauntering down the hall looking at her with those come and get me eyes or, unaware that he was being observed, was taking care of a patient with patience and kindness; not something that he was known for. The first time that she met him, Addison couldn't stand him. He was loud, blunt, extremely sure of himself, and had no respect for her field of medicine. However as time went by Addison discovered a different side of Alex; one that was caring, sincere, sensitive, and wonderful. She wasn't sure when exactly it happened, but some little voice inside her head kept telling her that she was falling for him.
The more she heard it, the easier it was to accept it and the harder it was not to act on it. One day, after an especially trying day Addi couldn't help herself. Alex walked into Joe's. He didn't see her at first which was fine because it allowed her to take in the eye candy, but after he got his beer she couldn't help but say hi. And say hi she did…he came over a little closer to her, they talked about dads or at least that's what she remembered them talking about. Before she knew what she was doing enough to stop herself she had her hands on his face, pulling him to her…to her lips.
The kiss started out soft, just lips touching lips. However, once she felt his response, Addison deepened the kiss and Alex more than willingly followed. For the next few seconds time stopped, the bar faded away and no one else in the world existed except the two of them. His mouth was deep, sweet, dark and tasted of the beer that he had been drinking. If only she could drink him in completely. Reluctantly she pulled away, but kept her face close to his. It was impossible to pull her eyes away from his. He smiled that little self conscious half smile of his; the smile he smiled every time she caught him in the NICU sitting with a sick baby. He was caring and sweet whether he wanted to admit it or not and she was completely falling for him.
It was the contact that her body made with the other one in the bed that had Addison jolting back to the present. That single touch reminded her of what happened the rest of the day and brought with it the horrible realization that she was in bed with Mark, not in her hotel room, but in his. She didn't have to ask herself why she slept with Mark. She knew. Loneliness was a horrible enemy. It made people do things that they would otherwise have better sense to avoid, and Addison considered herself a very sensible woman. It was just that after the craziness of yesterday, the prospect of going home to an empty room and spending the night alone was more than she could bear.
She knew that she was using Mark to fill the void that denying herself Alex had created, but she didn't want to ruin the budding relationship that she was creating with Alex by jumping in the bed with him…no matter how much she wanted to. Just looking at him recently had sent her blood pressure through the roof, had her head spinning, and her stomach doing those powerful little flip flops. She knew what those flip flops meant. She wanted him…she wanted him the second she saw him and it was getting so bad that she no longer trusted herself to be in the same room with him. The fact that Callie had been able to see and recognize the drooling and squirming episode she had had while following Alex's retreating form made Addison even more determined to keep the distance.
Mark, Mark had used Addison to get what he wanted and she had used him. Once upon at time Addi knew that there had been some kind of love between them, but whatever it was slowly burned out when she decided to be with Derek, however in times of trial and loneliness, Mark was a good substitute. When she had been grieving over losing Derek, all it took was one phone call and Mark was out in Seattle with her in his arms. The sex that they had was good; actually it was better than good, it was amazing. Mark was a playboy and would always be one; so it was easier for Addison to feel that taking advantage of him for one night was not such a bad thing. Goodness knows he had done it to her more than once in the past few years. Last night he recognized that she had an itch that needed to be scratched and was more than willing to be one to do the scratching. At the time, in the heat of need, Addi had no qualms, but now as she lay in his bed, beside him the only thing that she wanted to do was flee the scene.
