Father, I Have Sinned

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: I don't ship Wincest but I wrote this for a friend, I apologise if it is bad writing. Thank you for reading.

WARNING: (incest, obviously) underage sexual relations, major character death, murder, gore.

April 16th 1904

The silent gothic mansion was founded far from the village, and far from the church; the rusty old bars protected it from trespassers, not that anyone would dare to do so but for safety of the property they stood like a prison; the green grass surrounded the majestic palace along with the ancient trees, the rose bushes with thick thorns to rip the flesh of a human hand, and the sombre, dark skies looking down to earth that never cleared. It was their heaven, their home to many secrets to never be told. The garden extended from the mansion for miles and miles into the fields as far as the eye could reach.

Father never spoke of mother, it grieved him to remember that gentle face he'd held once between his hands, the tender rose lips that sealed their pact, and the heart that had died with all the love wasted; she now lay under the earth rotting for nature to consume. "You, my child, will be the heir and you will be in the family business as I have." Dean nodded submissively awaiting to be sent far from home to the St. Peter's Boys Academy, Sam was not of enough age to be accepted; summers were a gift, they were the days the brothers felt alive coming home to each other.

There was no grief inside as he read the letter announcing his father's death from melancholy, there was nothing to feel, nothing to look behind at; after all, he had been a stranger. Sam was his only worry, and yearned to return home to him.

"When is Cas getting here?" the younger boy sat on the window seat following with his eyes the droplets of rain trailing down the glass one after the other like liquid diamonds breaking, leaving traces behind; Dean lay on the bed with his arms folded under his head, his eyes were closed as he listened to the rain outside and the sound of the sea in the far distance.

"Tomorrow, maybe in the morning if the storm doesn't hinder him."

"I feel bad." Sam turned his head towards Dean, "Doing all this for us and having his father disown him." the older brother opened his eyes raising his head as he pushed his body up with his arms.

"Me too." he sat on the bed with his feet dangling off the edges, "But I warned him about the consequences and he insisted to help. Doesn't matter now, he's living with us and," he shrugged, "No one will bother us here."

"How did you convince Zachariah on letting him stay after what happened?" his brows furrowed in confusion and curiosity.

"Hey, dad died and I'm the oldest son, I am the master of this house." he raised his brow with a small smirk. "Whatever I say they have to do or they are discharged."

"That's not fair." he retrieved a small cushion resting by his foot to throw at his brother. "I am tired of being ordered around by him; Sam, it is your lesson time, Sam do your work, Sam dinner is ready be there in five minutes, Sam this, Sam that, Sam!" he folded his arms across his chest with a small frown on his face, "I really hate him."

"Don't worry, in a few years you'll have more freedom." he held the cushion in his hands to throw back at his brother who was distracted.

"That's two years though." he allowed a blow of air from his lips, making the hairs falling down his forehead stand. "Dean?" he glanced at his brother.

"Mm?"

"Did you mean it? Will you really take me away with you to Europe?" he took his bottom lip between his teeth awaiting for an answer; part of him always believed it to be true but a voice in his head always screamed to be lies repeatedly that his brother was simply using him, and would perhaps run away with a beautiful maiden that presented herself to him.

"Sam," he walked across the room to sit beside the boy, "I meant every word. Everything that I said," he glanced at his hands, then back into his brother's eyes, "I'll take you with me. No one will know who we are and we can start our lives together." Sam placed his lips softly on Dean's for a brief moment.

"You better keep your promise." the older boy smiled.

"I always keep my promises. I came home to you, didn't I?" he hit Sam's arm gently; the other boy nodded.

"I'm hungry." he narrowed his eyes towards the door.

"Way to ruin the moment." Sam chuckled. "It is late though, let's get you supper."

…~)*(~…

His lips parted gently allowing a gasp to escape, the hot breath making the other body shiver against the crook of his neck; his own trembled as he held on tightly to the larger ones making the veins on his forearms more visible. The heat enveloping his being was overwhelmingly sensational, burning his desires inside out, leaving no lust untouched. The flame burned incessantly, painfully, vehemently and it ached in his chest with an intensity that he could do no more than press his body tighter against the other as they writhed against the mattress.

"Shh, it's alright. You're alright." Dean murmured quietly against Sam's ear, wiping away the sweat drops forming at the line of his hair. His warm and soft lips trailing tenderly along the burning skin of the younger boy. The light of the moon outside penetrated the glass of the window on the far left side of the room, hitting the end edge of the bed where their bare feet rested entangled.

"Dean." he choked out as he attempted to calm himself after his climax. There were bruises forming around his wrists, his neck, his torso and the pelvis; his body ached throughout, his throat was dry yet he desired more than water, more than drugs to calm the pain, his brother's strong arms to hold him.

"I got you, Sammy, I got you." his longer, more developed arms enveloped the boy like wings after a long flight during a winter storm; it was a pleasant feeling to lie like this without disturbance. It certainly soothed the grief, the emptiness and self-hatred- to love so dearly his own flesh and blood than to love a stranger said to be a lover. His only love was him, and would be him; Sam.

…~)*(~…

"All this you see, miles and miles of nothing. The earth, the sky; nothing truly belongs to anyone." he murmured softly; his pen moved smoothly against the paper creating brilliant curves of elegance, the ink corrupting the purity of the paper thus. He was silent for a moment, listening to the waves crash against the shore in the far distance, the sound of the horse's steps against the dire mud, the songs of the birds, and treetops sway along the strong breeze of late winter.

There was no reminiscence of home, nor a mother, nor a father, nor a brother, nor a sister, nor a simple memory of childhood. He had never truly loved, nor cared to be loved; it was simple, life was simple and one thing that did matter was his dream. Castiel kept his diary inside the pocket of his coat, a safe place no one would dare to reach without him noticing; it was a precious thing to have, more than his own life, his stories.

"Was about time you arrived!" He opened his eyes realising the carriage had stopped, Dean stood waiting for the boy to dismount with a smile curling on his lips.

"My apologies, Dean, the weather was not in my favour, though I am grateful it did not worsen." he closed his diary to hide it in his coat, and retrieved his luggage, which Dean took from his hands insistently.

"Well, you're here now and safe. Come on, Sam's waiting for you inside and he's excited to see you again." he pat Castiel affectionately on the shoulder; it made the older boy smile as they walked towards the entrance of the house.

His eyes scanned around the mansion, noticing the mould growing on the walls, the overgrown rose bushes and the darkness that surrounded the house; it was different from what he remembered yet it felt tranquil. A man he recognised stood by the door waiting for them to approach, the smug smirk on his face never faded making him seem intimidating and powerful, as if he knew secrets hidden behind the masks they wore; Zachariah had been working for the family since Mary was alive, John had written in his will that it was the man's duty enforcing the boys to become men of power.

"Welcome to the Winchester residence, Castiel, it is good to see you again." he gave the boy a small nod, Castiel returned the gesture with a stoic expression.

"Thank you."

"We'll be upstairs." Dean interrupted, pulling the boy by the arm into the house. Zachariah glanced at them indifferently before closing the doors, and silently disappearing into a dark room by the library.

"It really hasn't changed much, except for mum and dad, everything else is still intact. Remember our secret hideout?" Castiel nodded with a smile. "It's still there and no one but us knows, Sam hides there from Zachariah." both chuckled.

"It's odd, Dean." he spoke quietly yet it echoed through the halls, "I feel nothing, I feel as if the ones who truly matter are Sam and you, I do not miss my family; they seem rather strangers to me." a soft sigh escaped from his lips. "Thank you for allowing me to stay with you."

"We're your family now, and you did sacrifice everything just to help me get back to Sam. I can never thank you enough."

"It was Hell, Dean, that place." he shuddered at the memory, "I do not think parents are aware of the treatments the pupils are submitted to in that school; it isn't humane. Sam asked me to look after you but not to let you know." he smiled.

"You just did." Dean mocked.

"Shut up." he punched the younger boy on the arm playfully. "Where is Sam? I would like to see him."

"I think he's still in the library for his daily lesson, it should be over in half an hour." he turned his head in the direction where the library should be, Castiel understood.

They walked in silence through the halls until they reached Castiel's assigned room, between Sam and Dean. The curtains were open by day yet not much light entered; the carved angels on the wooden walls faced the east, as if waiting for the master to arrive; the chandeliers were old yet their elegance remained, along with the old mirror placed by the wardrobe. Air would creep through the cracks of the window not entirely closed, creating an eerie whistling sound, mixing with the soft whispers of the fire from the chimney. The scent of the room enveloped him, the fresh scent of silver polish chemicals, the burning wood, the linen sheets, the antiques and the wood; the hairs on his body stood on end at the blissful sensation it sent throughout his body. This would finally be a home to him.

…~)*(~…

"You guys are too fast, wait for me!" Sam called from a few feet as they ran from the garden to the fields leading to the shore of the sea.

"Come on, Sammy! You can't really be that slow, can ya?" Dean shouted without stopping, Castiel ran faster than the three and had almost reached the shore.

"I'm carrying the basket, it's not fair!"

"You're strong, Sam, you can carry the weight!" he laughed, Sam rolled his eyes and continued running until he reached the shore. Dean stood without shoes on the wet sand drawing patterns with his toe; Castiel sat on a rock with his diary on his lap and the fountain pen in his hand.

"Thanks for waiting, jerks." he let the basket drop on the sand. "Look, guys!" he pointed towards the sea, "It's a dolphin!"

"There are no dolphins here, that's a shark." the older brother laughed.

"I'm sure it's a dolphin, Dean."

"It's a shark!"

"Dolphin!"

"Shark!" he picked up a small shell from the sand to throw at his brother, the other boy dodged it, and the shell hit the top of Castiel's head.

"Sorry." Dean frowned; Castiel held the shell in his hand and tossed it into the sea.

"It's a dolphin, Dean, Sam was right all along." he smirked, Dean glared at his friend.

"I told you!" the boy laughed.

"Well, good for you!" he scrunched his nose and stuck his tongue out at his brother.

"Are you guys going to swim?" Castiel glanced at the boys raising his brows and squinting his eyes since the sun hit his eyes. The brothers glanced at each other with smirks curling on their lips and a dark look in their eyes.

"For a while." Dean cleared his throat. "You don't mind." Castiel rolled his eyes.

"I don't care, just don't get caught like the other day." he shrugged referring to the shower incident.

"Stop doing that and scrub my back." Sam laughed as Dean trailed the tip of his tongue along the curve of the boy' s neck.

"I am." he muttered quietly against the boy's skin, making him shiver. His hands searched blindly for something to touch, his lips parted slightly allowing a gasp to escape once he felt strong hands reach his member.

"I- ah.. De-!"

"Shh, you don't want them to hear us, do you?" Dean whispered in his ear as his hands teased the boy's building erection. Sam drew in his bottom lip between his teeth to avoid making noises louder than intended yet the pressure built stronger inside his chest until it hurt, making his breathing rhythm speed up.

There was a knock on the door, then quiet voices yet both ignored them for a moment, focusing instead on their lust.

"Where are the boys? And what are you doing here?" Zachariah narrowed his eyes at Castiel.

"I'm waiting for them so we can go to the beach." he did not raise his head to look at the old man but continued writing in his diary.

"Can you not wait down stairs?" he tilted his head with annoyance.

"No, I think they trust met to be in their room." he smirked with a wicked expression on his face, Zachariah felt a cold shiver down his spine and kept silent for a moment, attempting to focus on the sounds coming from the bath room.

"Are they both in there?" he pointed towards the door.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I accidentally spilled ink over Sam, it is the kind that stains the flesh for a few days if not taken care of immediately, Dean is simply helping wash it off. They are brothers, are they not? I think you can trust them to be alone, after all, it was Dean and I the ones who were caught doing-" he chuckled, "Immoral activities." Zachariah frowned in disgust, he scrunched his nose before turning to leave the room without further words. A sinister chuckle echoed throughout the room and he let the diary rest by his side, then turned to the direction of the bathroom. He laughed at the sound of Sam's voice pleading to Dean.

"Stop worrying, we'll be careful." Dean smirked as he intertwined Sam's fingers with his. "You should come by in a moment though." he winked at Castiel.

"You wish." he rolled his eyes. The brothers disappeared in the distance, their voices and laughter along. Castiel sat still for a moment, staring at the calm ocean and listening to the sound of the waves and seagulls; he glanced around for a moment until his eyes landed on the top of the cliff where a familiar figure stood of a man with his arms behind his back.