Emily cursed when she managed to spill her wine on her counter top. The phone ringing at 10pm surprised her and she didn't even attempt to clean before she picked it up, thinking it might be work.
"Prentiss." She answered, the professionalism of answering the phone with her last name was always something she'd liked doing.
"Emily?" The voice asked, and she was immediately confused. Who else would be calling her this late? She glanced over at her door, dead blotted as always. She wandered into her living room, the magnificent view of the city captivating her.
"Who's this?" She asked, glancing down at the city through the glass, lightly trailing her fingers along the Washington monument.
"It's John, John Cooley." The voice said, and Emily nearly dropped the phone. She was caught off guard, confused, scared even. She ran a hand through her still damp hair, plopping down into one of her chairs.
"Why are you calling, Johnny?" Emily said, chewing on her bottom lip. She silently cursed herself for calling him Johnny, like they were still children in Italy. Old feelings were flooding her head and her heart was pounding. Just breathe, she told herself, her outer shell finally showing it's cracks as she put her hand to her mouth.
"I'm in DC, I wanted to see you." He said, drawing out the words as she let them sink in. She wanted to see him too.
It was like she was fifteen again, excited to have him call her, excited that he'd missed her, excited that he'd wanted her in the first place.
"It's late, John." Emily found herself saying.
But that was just it, wasn't it? Emily wasn't that scared fifteen year old anymore. She was a seasoned FBI agent. She knew what she'd done in her past and she knew that at one time she would have described John Cooley as the love of her life. But it was different now and she told herself that if he had wanted to see her and keep in touch with her he would have done it long before now.
"Emily, I just want to see you." John repeated making her want to bang her head against the nearest wall. She wasn't sure exactly how to respond, she wanted to see him but she didn't. What would happen if he was to come over here? Would they talk? Drink? She didn't know.
The fact that he'd called her in the first place was throwing her off. Why did he still care? She silently wondered if he still kept in touch with Matthew. Emily bit her lip a little harder than before when she realized that she'd also made no effort to contact two of the best friends she'd ever had. The door swings both ways and this particular door had just swung and hit her in the face.
"Okay." Emily finally breathed, unsure of the consequences of her actions. Did she really want to let John Cooley back into her life? It had been more than twenty years since she'd last seen him, he'd certainly have changed, just like she has.
She gave him her address and he seemed genuinely excited to see her. She should have been excited to see him, an old friend after twenty years of not speaking. It should have been exciting and should have made her happy but all she could concentrate on was the growing anxiety that had planted itself in her chest, weighing her down as she paced in her living room.
Because their relationship was much more complex than your average "childhood friends".
Emily jumped, nervously picking at her nails as she made her way to the door.
"Hey," She let out as she swung open the door, suddenly surrounded by him as he hugged her tightly. It was so familiar and yet so foreign to her. He was still taller than her and she swore he still used the same aftershave because the smell that was clouding her senses was so distinctively John. Even the cold memories that she'd tried to cast away were flooding back now and the question of whether this was a good idea or not was continually screaming to be answered.
"Emily, I..." John didn't finish his sentence as they both seemed to observe every pane of the other's face, every detail of each other's body. "You look beautiful." He said, smiling at her.
"Thank you," She replied, wetting her dry and chapped lips with her tongue, knowing that it wouldn't really help. There was a spark of something that Emily couldn't quite name building in her chest as she remembered that John was the first boy that had ever called her beautiful. She didn't believe him then, she was so lost back then. She didn't understand his fascination with her, she didn't understand why he even talked to her. She was the typical new girl and she'd tried her best to keep under the radar, not wanting to make friends. Because she never knew when she might be forced to leave them.
Emily went into the kitchen to get them both drinks, cleaning up the bit of wine she'd spilled earlier. She'd poured them both wine before walking over to sit beside John on the couch.
"Here," She said as she handed him the glass. He thanked her and took a small sip before he locked his eyes on her again. He was watching her closely almost as if he was scared she'd disappear. That she'd run away, she was good at that.
"I've missed you, Em." John said, giving her a smile that almost broke her shell completely. He was the hammer that could shatter every protective mechanism she used on the daily basis. He was the first person who ever really cared enough to try and get inside her head, the only one who fought hard enough to really get to know the real Emily Prentiss. Not the ambassador's daughter or the melancholic new girl, he saw her for who she really was. He always had.
"Then why didn't you call... before now?" Emily blurted, the hurt washing over her suddenly and fiercely before withdrawing, leaving her confused as to why she still felt the same way about the boy that had gotten her pregnant when she was fifteen. She nearly broke the glass in her hand, unsure of what to do as she quietly inched away.
"I wanted to call, Em. I really did. But I was," He paused and met her dark eyes and she saw the pain in his. "I was afraid. Too much had happened when we were younger, I wasn't sure if you would ever forgive me for being such a goddamn asshole." His voice rose near the end of his sentence as his hands pressed into his knees. "I'm sorry, Emily." He said, standing up.
"I never should have called you or came here tonight. You don't need someone like me in your life. Not then and not now." He told her as she stood up as well so that she could keep them on level ground. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. He began to walk away from her, the plain of his back and broad shoulders chilling her bones. He'd walked away from her before, but she'd only ever let him once. It wasn't going to happen again. She went to yell his name, to stop him from leaving her again before he spun on his heel, obviously not realizing how close behind him she was. He touched her hair, ceasing any attempt for her to speak.
"If this is the last time I see you, I just want you to know one thing." He said before his lips came crashing down on to hers. The taste of him was somewhat familiar, his lips warm against hers as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Their kiss was a little more ravenous then you would think, but after twenty years of waiting she hadn't expected any less. "I love you. I've always loved you." John whispered between their lips, not even a breath between them as his arms fell from her waist. When Emily didn't respond he turned his back again, marching a clear path out of her life.
"Johnny, wait!" She finally managed, grabbing his shoulder as he turned to face her. "I know that things between us are complicated, but you were the only one who understood the messed up girl I was. You understood when no one else even tried. And as much as I want to hate you for abandoning me when I got pregnant, I can't. We were kids, maybe you didn't handle it well but I understood the fear that you had. There was no way we were ready to be parents, John." She said, trying not to speak too quickly as she waited for his reaction. "Maybe life's finally giving us a second chance." She added, before leaning in to kiss him again. It was like a first kiss, she felt nervous and exciting and unsure. The fireworks and sparks were finally lighting the end of the lonely road she'd walked on all these years. And as John fiercely kissed her back, she knew that he wasn't going anywhere.
