A/N This is a continuation of To have loved and lost.

Frost felt numb and yet, at the same time, her sorrow and depression and hopelessness threatened to overwhelm her. To drown her. Her entire world had shattered into a million pieces. First the death of her mother and brother. Then the death of her no-claw family the their son Harry had survived, but she would never know what happened to him. Never be able to watch him grow.

I always lose those I love the most.

The white and grey she cat wanted to give up. To die there and then. Then she could truly join her family. She dragged herself to... Frost didn't even know where. She just went on. Frost spotted something, which chilled her spine. And yet she padded towards it blindly. It was a yew bush. Poisonous red berries grew on them. This was how her brother, Hawk had died. And his death had been her fault. If only she hadn't insisted on them eating the berries when they were desperately hungry.

Does it hurt to die? Well, it can't hurt much more than the pain I'm in now. I just want it to all end.

She stared at the berries on the yew bush.

This is the only way. I have lost too much. Too much. I can't live with the pain. It's too much.

Frost reached for a berry with her paw outstretched.

She screeched as she felt a weight barrel into her.

"Those are yew berries, Frost!" he yowled. "They could o' killed ya in a minute"

Frost realized that it was Percy the black kittypet with a strange accent who lived across the street.

"That's the whole point!" she yelled. "I have lost too much. Too much. Everytime I get close to someone, I ultimately lose them. First my mother and brother. Then my no-claw family! The pain is too much. I just want the pain to end so that I can truly join them."

Percy just stared for a moment in surprise. In shock. Frost waited for the sympathy to burn in his eyes. She didn't want sympathy. Frost wanted her family back. She wanted everything to go back to normal. Or, if she couldn't, she wanted her life to end.

"Frost" Percy said gently. "I'm really sorry 'bout ya loss. But just 'cos you have lost a few loved ones, doesn't mean ya have to give up. Life will always be hard. But there always will be happy moments and funny moments too. Life is hard. But ya need to move on. To live ya life."

"Easy for you to say, Percy. You've never lost anyone you loved. You don't understand how much it hurts!" Frost snapped.

This time the usually jocular Percy lost his temper. "I couldn't possibly understand how it much it hurts to lose loved could I? For ya information Frost I once had a mate. I loved her so much. She was also a kittypet. But she died giving birth to our two sons. And they were both stillborn. Didn't even open their eyes. It broke my heart. And here I am two years later. Ya don't hear whining about how unfair my life is do ya? I have moved on. I still live life. I haven't given up. If anything ya ma an' bro will want ya to live life. To move on."

Not sympathy, but frustration and empathy shone in Percy's green eyes.

Frost was still angry. Still filled with aching sorrow. And pain. Yet, Percy had a point.

Surely her mother and Hawk and the Potters... where ever they were would want her to be happy. To live life.

But she wasn't sure if she could ever be happy again. Not when all those she loved were gone. Not when it felt as though her soul had been torn.

Not when it felt as though each time she got close to someone, they died.

"You have a point" Frost sighed finally. "But how can I be happy again when there is no one left that I love?"

"What 'bout me? I care for ya." Percy mewed.

Does Percy have a crush on me?

"Listen Percy, You're a great friend and all, but I'm not sure about us being in a romantic relationship" Frost said trying to be as gentle about this fact as she could. To her bewilderment, Percy gave mrrow of laughter.

"What? Us in a romantic relationship? Ya do realize I'm at least three years ya senior. And not all love is romantic, remember. However, a friend I am."

"Er...Thanks" Frost said feeling stupid for assuming he had meant romantic love.

"So ya gonna find a new famiy o' housefolk?" Percy asked.

"No. I have decided that I need to just be on my own for a while. I... I want to find my own way." Frost said, saying this all on spur of the moment.

Percy had concern in his eyes for a moment.

"Alright. See ya then Frost. May you have the best of luck on this journey. An' remember... If ya ever want to come back Poppy an' I are your friends" Percy mewed.

"Thanks Perce. I won't forget you. You have been a great friend. But I best be off" Frost mewed sadly.

Frost set off in the distance. Not sure where she was going. Or what she was doing. She just went on. Frost needed time. To heal. To move on. To find happiness once more. She was soon so far away the no-claw nests were tiny pricks in the distance. Her old life already seemed so distant. Not attached to her. Soon Frost could feel her belly rumbling with hunger. She spotted a mouse nibbling at some seeds nearby. Perfect! She automatically lowered herself into the hunting crouch. She stalked it pawstep by pawstep. Then she leapt and killed it with a swift bite to the neck. She was satisfied once more when she had gulped down the mouse. It also seemed to help fill some of the emptness she felt.

No matter how hard she tried she could not help being reminded of her family with every rustling leaf or bird song. she could still remember Lily and James stroking her. Harry trying to grab her tail. Harry taking his first staggering steps. Lily and James being affectionate with eachother. Harry zooming around on his broom.

But she also remembered the bad things too. The dark figure ending James and Lily's life with a flash of green light. Attempting to kill Harry though Harry miraculously survived. His survival still baffled Frost. It didn't make any sort of sense. But she was thankful that he was alive all the same. At least one Potter had survived.

She was considering taking shelter in an old tree hollow when something caught her eye. A beautiful cream she cat was lying limp and lifeless on the ground. Two small scraps were huddling close to her a cream one and a white was a large branch next her body, which frost guessed had caused her death. They must have been her kits. They looked terrified and shocked and Frost was instantly reminded of herself and Hawk. She started walking towards them. Her heart sank as she thought of how everytime she got close to someone they died. It was as though she had bad luck on her side. Frost didn't know if she could bear to watch another loved one die.

But I can't leave two innocent kits to fend for themselves. Like me and Hawk.

She remembered how painfully lonely, scared and, above all, starving they had been.

She would never forgive herself if she condemned these poor kits to such a fate.

She went up to them. They stared at her their eyes large and afraid.

"It's ok, I won't hurt you" Frost mewed gently.

The two kits didn't look convinced.

"My brother and I were once like you. We had also lost our mother so young. We had to fend for ourselves, but we were so scared, so cold, so hungry. It's a tough life for a kit. Believe me. But now you have an oppurtunity that my brother and I never got. To be looked after by an older cat. Come with me."

The two kits stared at her, processing this information.

"I'm Frost. Please tell me your names."

There was silence.

"Honey" the cream she kit said at last.

"Ice" mewed the white tom.

Honey had amber eyes like Frost. But Ice had piercing grey eyes like Hawk.

"Come on then, let's find us some shelter and some prey". Frost beckoned the kits forward with a flick of her tail.

Honey and Ice followed her uncertainly. But after she collected some prey and they all had full bellies, they were a lot more relaxed.

She led them inside an old tree hollow for shelter.

"We have a big day tomorrow. We need all the rest we can get" said Frost.

As they all curled up to sleep, Frost found the presence of the two kits sleeping next to her a great comfort to her loneliness.

It was sunhigh by the time Frost awakened. Honey and Ice were already awake and whispering to eachother in hushed voices.

They are just as close as Hawk and I once were.

She gave a huge yawn. "Come on, let's get going."

They followed her obediently, though they still seemed apprehensive. They had barely said a word to Frost, but often spoke to eachother in hushed voices. This made Frost sigh, although she could understand how hard it must be for the two kits to have lost their mother at a young age. And then be in the care of a total stranger.

I wish they would trust me completely. I wish they would talk to me.

She signaled to them to stay put, whilst she went ahead and hunted a squirrel for them to tuck into.

As they went on they seemed to be in a no-claw area once again. They were getting quite tired and Frost spotted a barn. She indicated that they should go inside.

"Mother once took us to a barn!" squeaked Honey excitedly. "Let's go!" Honey charged ahead energetically into the barn.

Ice didn't seem to share her excitement strangely enough. On the contrary he looked frightened."No, Honey come back!"

And Frost realized why. A sinister stench hit her nose and a moment later she heard a terrified shriek.

A/N Hope you enjoyed, please comment or review as any sort of feedback is welcome! Thought I would leave you on a bit of a cliffhanger, so you'll tune in for the next chapter, eh?