Only Dean Knew
Only Dean knew how much pain he felt,
when he saw Cas disappear into that lake,
leaving behind only that damn trench coat,
Only Dean knew how he had waited for Sam to fall asleep,
then how he had crept out of the motel, looking for a secluded area,
Then only Dean knew how he had slipped the trench coat from his jacket,
and had stared at it, wondering how the man who had once worn it could be dead,
Only Dean knew how he had cried for hours and hours, sobbing long gasping sobs, crying, for all the things he hadn't said, for all the things he could have done, and while crying, clutching the trench coat like it could solve all his problems,
Now he cupped Cas's cold, lifeless, cheeks gently in his hands,
knowing that he was human no longer,
that his heart had been ripped out of his chest to many times,
and that it was a wonder he was still breathing.
