Her life had become monotonous and lackluster. Every day was spent entertaining men she would rather have had no association with. But now every man was a chance for more food, a little money to stash away. She wandered the lazy open aired halls of the docking bay. She chose not to fight off the daze she ambled around in.
To think clearly simply meant to remember what she fought so hard to forget.
She paused when she saw a regular and he whistled at her. She strode over to him in a way that was supposed to be seductive, but only managed to show her fatigue.
She was nothing to look at anymore. She was in her early twenties but her physic was becoming that of a much older woman. Dark circles were ever present under her eyes. She had put on more weight around her hips. She had given birth to three children. And while they had been nurtured in her womb she could not presume to love them. She could barely recall who was the father of each. Only a few days after coming into the world they were taken from her. After the first she'd stopped fighting for her rights to keep them. Because of the infants there were stretch marks on her belly, and her breasts now sagged. Though that also had to do with being denied to wear a top for five years. The scraps of cloth wrapped around her hips revealed much more than they concealed.
Yet, she no longer felt any shame parading herself around for those to see. When she had first arrived men had been eager to get an eyeful of her, not to mention dig some credits out of their pockets in order to get inside her. Now, the men who had been so enamored with her spared her only sidelong glances. Her breasts were no longer perky, and she no longer blushed ashamed at their attentions.
She reached the table her regular resided at and he slid a few credits over to her. She vaguely surmised that he must have been getting tired of her for there was less money than last time. But she said nothing as she accepted them gratefully and slid them into the pouch attached to the rags slug around her.
They were in public but that was of no consequence. Fornicating in the open of the docking bay was a common practice. It took her a moment to bring to mind what this one liked. When she did she promptly turned around and heard the harsh sound of his zipper parting. There was no foreplay, no teasing, no preparing, just a hardened erection pushing inside her core. Her employers made sure she was as constantly wet as she could be and thankfully it eased the penetration every time. She felt no pleasure as the man moved inside her. The only time she'd ever orgasmed was during the early stages of each of her pregnancies. The customers she was with at the time were more than happy to supply her with the insult of calling her a true slut. She couldn't have helped it-her body had just become more sensitive to their attentions. And they'd paid her a little extra those times.
However, those were rare experiences for her. She had been trained in the knowledge that she existed solely for their pleasure. What she felt was irrelevant. She was numb as he moved in and out of her, and she pondered whether or not to use the Force in a way to heighten his pleasure. She had been trained to do that and did so often. She would use it to make their climaxes that much sweeter. Hell, she could have used the Force to do anything, including aiding her in an escape.
But the galaxy had changed on her. The Jedi were quickly becoming an extinct race, and were no longer looked up to as the heroes they once were. She could have used the Force to do whatever she wished…but even if she did escape, where could she go in a galaxy that no longer wanted her?
It hadn't been her employers that had told her she was only ever suited to this now, it was her own mind. As the girl she had been before the end of the war she was useless. This time she decided to not use the Force. She would no longer be punished for doing so…she merely had no desire.
With her customer behind her, she could survey the room easily. The same faces a different day. Her blue eyes paused on a far alcove where the bar stood. For a shining moment total awareness washed upon her, yet it retreated as quickly as it came. She had almost believed it was him. The bastard she'd grown to hate most. He had promised to make a contented life with her after the war. She had waited and waited for him. But he never came. The man behind her however did in another sense and shot his seed into her. She expertly hid her grimace only then registering that he hadn't worn any protection. Another pregnancy was not what she needed.
Her regular plunked down in his chair and she knew it was time to take her leave. No after sex cuddling with these types. Keeping her legs pressed together has best she could she headed over to the washroom. Once inside she grabbed a water faucet and squatted down over a drain. She thoroughly and carefully washed herself out. When there wasn't a trace of the man's seed she just rested there for a moment. She wondered what it meant that she was no longer nauseated by the sight of the milky fluids dripping from her overly used sex.
She retreated from the small respite to find the mysterious man was still there. She cautiously headed over to him. She could not see his face for a brimmed hat cast it in shadow. The hat looked oh so similar to his hat. But deluding herself into thinking it was him would get her nowhere fast. She eased her way over to his side and placed a soft hand onto his shoulder. He held the same presence…blue fingers were continuously turning a half empty glass of scotch…his favorite drink.
"Do you need some company?" she asked not daring to hope.
"No thanks." The same gruff voice slightly distorted by his nitrogen mask.
He quickly but kindly brushed her hand off his shoulder. Her apathy washed away leaving her only with misery in its place. With stinging eyes she placed her fingers over his halting his rhythmic turning of the glass.
"Not even an old friend?" she asked feeling flooding into her words.
It would have been only visible to her had many people witnessed it, but he did tense. He slowly looked up at her and her breath was stolen away. It was him…he looked worse for wear, but it was him. She hastily fed her eyes the sight of him noticing the small changes that had come upon him over the years. His right eye now had a great scar running from over the top to under it. The eye itself no longer held its brilliant red vibrancy, instead there was cloudiness over it. He must have been partially if not completely blind on that side.
"Soka?" he asked.
Something broke inside her. She didn't know what to do. To use what was left of her strength to beat him to a pulp or break into tears in his arms. She didn't know whether her hatred for him had increased tenfold or if that was a shadow of her love pushing forth. She did not act upon any of these things. Instead she straddles his lap and there was a pang of hesitation for she knew he could see all of her without even having to try. She reached for his belt buckle and he grabbed her wrists.
"Ahsoka–" She shook off his weak grasp.
"Don't worry," she assured, "This one is on the house."
He said nothing as she opened his pants and saw his hardened cock. She hadn't even stimulated him yet, and she was no longer that beautiful in her own opinion. She thought he was already excited by remembering their past…how unexpectedly sentimental of him.
She leaned on his shoulders as she lowered herself onto him. She felt a foreign thrill of pleasure sing through her as he filled her more naturally than any other. His breath wheezed out as she squeezed around him. After being forced to sleep with so many men was she still as tight as he remembered? It didn't matter. She rode him more earnestly than any man before. She impaled herself on him time and time again biting her lower lip at the torturously blissful heat curling in her core. She gasped when a determined thumb circled her burning clitoris. Her fingers fisted in his worn leather jacket as teeth and tongue stimulated seemingly long forgotten nipples. Her orgasm was upon her before she recognized it, her walls seizing up before fluttering around his length. He came moments after her, essence shooting into her. For once in the dazed afterglow she found his seed warmed and comforted her.
Though she wished she had the strength to pull away from him, she let him support her as tired muscles gave out. Their breathing gradually evened yet he remained inside her. She startled when he bumped his forehead against hers.
"I did it," he sighed, "I finally found ya."
"What?" she asked flatly too bemused to emote yet. He cupped her cheeks in his still calloused hands.
"I've spent so long looking for ya," he whispered. The harsh lines on his face softened giving his own grief some room to show.
She didn't want to believe what she was hearing. She was more prepared more him to shove her off his lap and send her away. She wasn't ready to deal with the knowledge she'd been dearly missed. But she was irrevocably happy to know what she was. She gave a small smile as streak of wet heat traveled down her face. He wiped it away caringly.
"I'll buy ya from 'em," he declared.
"They won't sell me," she whispered. The grin that had sent her heart fluttering years prior reappeared on his face.
"Then I'm just gonna have ta steal ya," he countered.
Hope began to well inside her heart. She fought desperately to crush it down. She couldn't afford to place her trust in him again…but it seemed as if she had never stopped trusting him…
"Where would we go?" she questioned.
"Anywhere you want."
"Just me and you?" she said laying her dearest dream out to the open air.
"Of course."
She covered her lips then attempting to hide her childlike grin. He swatted her hand down and covered her lips with his own. The brim of his hat hid their union for a moment and she hiccupped a sob at the glorious memories they'd created under that very same hat. When he pulled back she looked into the red eyes she'd achingly longed to see for an obscene amount of time. She steeled herself to put her very being into his hands and nodded her head.
"Okay."
End.
