My phone rang again. I was expecting it to be Blair, but it was Serena. I sighed. Maybe it was something important. "What is it Serena. I'm off to a business meeting. Are you trying to ruin this one too?"
"Chuck. Blair's been in an accident."
I stopped breathing. Blair. No, not Blair. It has to be a mistake. I dropped the phone. I could hear Serena faintly saying "Chuck? Chuck are you there?"
"Driver, we're making a detour. Nassau County and step on it." Fuck. Not Blair. NOT BLAIR. It's a mistake. It has to be. "Can you go any faster?"
Chuck, what are you doing? We're almost there.
"This is much more important than a stupid business meeting."
You really are a softie. Love over business. Awwwwwwwww
"WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE." My body felt numb. I couldn't feel anything. This is……. AHHHHH FUCK. First my mother, then my father, then………. Blair. My Blair. Everything I love destructs self-destructs. "Stop looking at me. SPEED IT UP."
FINALLY. We finally got there. I ran inside. All I could think was Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. I couldn't hear anything. Just Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. I ran as fast as I could to the elevator and pressed the button over and over again until it came. Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. Once I was in the elevator I repeated pressing the button over and over until I heard the *ding *of the elevator, signifying that I was close. Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair.
It was all coming back. "What are you doing out here? Come on." I saw him. "Charles, I'm sorry, the doctors say there's nothing else they can do. We have to let him go." I bolted. I couldn't stand it.
Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. The memory made me want to hurl. But I remembered what was most important right now. Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. I ran. I didn't know where I was going. But I needed to find her. I ran around the hospital till I finally found Serena.
"Chuck. You look like you've just seen a ghost."
"Where is she? Is she okay? I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner. My stupid driver………I need to see her." I was looking around, looking for her. Looking for something that was a clue to where she was.
"She's right down that corridor." She smiled. Why was she smiling. This was not a time to smile.
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SMILING RIGHT NOW."
"You really love her Chuck. You're turning into a man. Go see her."
Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair. I ignored her comment and ran down the corridor Serena had pointed to. I heard the steady beep of the monitors and I knew I was almost there. I was so close. Blair. Blair. Blair.
I ran into the room. I stopped. Her beautiful face was bruised and cut, her hair was a rat's nest, and she was wearing a hospital gown. She was still the most beautiful creature that had ever graced the earth. She was asleep. I walked up to her and took her hand that was also very cut. I checked to see if she had a pulse because you can't always count on the monitors. I felt the pulse and it was the most glorious sound in the world. I wanted to hold her close to me and never let her out of my site. I kissed her hand. Then the nurse walked in. I still held Blair's hand but I straightened up.
"Hello, my name is Chuck Bass. This is my girlfriend. I was wondering if she had broken any bones."
"No, she is very lucky though. From the damage I saw, if she had been 2 feet closer she would not have….."
"Please, I really don't want to picture that. I already had to deal with that the whole way over here."
She chuckled. "I understand." Then the nurse left.
How did this happen? How did I push Blair away far enough for this to happen? Well I wasn't going to settle for sitting in the seat that was halfway across the room. I pulled the chair right next to the bed. I couldn't let her get out of my site. I held her hand as I slowly drifted to sleep.
When I woke up, I really had to go to the bathroom. I didn't want to let go of Blair's hand, but I had to go really badly. So I gently let go of Blair's hand and slipped out. I walked to the bathroom slowly, because as much as I wanted to get back to Blair, I had been running a lot that day.
When I came out of the bathroom I quicken the pace of my walking. As I was walking the nurse saw me. She said "Blair just woke up and she is asking for you."
I was so happy. I smiled like a kid on Christmas. I ran back to the room, expectantly wanting to hear the beautiful voice of the woman I love more than life. When I was getting closer I heard it "Chuck???" Her beautiful voice was a croak. I quickened the pace of my run. I entered the door with a sharp turn. Supporting myself by holding the door frame. When I entered the room she smiled. I walked over to her and stood over her. They had raised her bed so she was closer to me. I cradled her cheek in my hand. "Chuck." She nestled her head into my hand and held my hand with her own hands.
I took her head in both my hands and started to kiss every bruise and every cut on her face. Between kisses I said "You. Are. Never. Allowed. To. Hurt. Yourself. Ever. Again. Do. You. Understand."
She smiled. "Chuck," she started to cry, "I'm really sorry. It was so stupid of me. I should have had my eyes on the road, but I was changing the radio station because it started to get all fuzzy… and… and…"
"Shhhhhhhhhhh. It's okay." I sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm not mad. I just can't stand to see you hurt. It pains me. Especially since at the time I was ignoring your calls…"
"Hows everything going," the nurse said.
"Fine," Blair and I said simultaneously.
"I was wondering if I could lie in bed with her."
"Well we usually don't…."
"Please." I begged. I needed to be closer to her.
"Please," Blair repeated.
The nurse smiled and looked around. "Alright. I'll leave you too. Blair let me know if you need more medicine."
"I will." Once the nurse left Blair turned to me hoping for an explanation to why I was ignoring her calls.
I sighed. "My father always thought I was weak. And in the moment that mattered most I was. I couldn't be there when he ... I left. Right away. I've been pushing myself to prove him wrong, and pushing you away." I held her hand tighter and didn't look her in the eyes hoping I could keep it together in front of her
She kissed my cheek. "I don't think you ran away because you couldn't handle death. I think it's because you couldn't handle feelings. You're not like that anymore. You're strong. You carry people. You carry me. You're becoming a man in a way that your father never was." She looked at me when she said this. But I still could not bear to look at her, hoping that I would not lose my control. I pulled her to me and kissed my forehead.
"Thank you. I love you so much Blair. When I heard you were in a car crash. I… I didn't know…" I stopped talking. I couldn't handle it. If I kept talking I would lose it completely.
When she talked it came out in a whisper. She nuzzled her head into my neck. "You know when I saw that car coming towards my lane, all I could think was, I love you Chuck."
"All I could think when I heard you were in a car crash was not Blair. It just couldn't be you. It just couldn't." I held her close to me. "What would I do without you Blair? I don't even want to think about it."
"I don't either. Hey I'm gonna go to sleep. I'm so tired. But please stay with me."
I kissed her. "Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
