Day 0
The harsh florescent lights of the recovery room make me squint. I never understood why they are so bright. The eyes of patients just waking up from anesthesia are sensitive and the lighting is just an extra slap in the face. Plus it makes Meredith look an even sicklier pale. She looks translucent, almost a ghost, from the blood loss involved with the liver surgery. The only interruption on her pale skin is the reflection of the lights on the oxygen mask over her face in place of the endotracheal tube that had been removed before leaving the OR. The nurse and orderlies count to three and shift her on a sling of blankets from a gurney to a bed. Once Meredith is settled into the bed a peach colored thermal blanket is tucked around her up to her waist. The orderlies leave with the gurney and the nurse, Kate according to her nametag, flutters about while I stand awkwardly just inside the doorway. Kate connects leads and makes sure the drains aren't blocked. I take an awkward sidestep to the corner almost laughing at the irony of the situation. I spend a lot of time in these recovery rooms, checking up on patients, but it feels like a very scary overwhelming place when I'm here as a family member. Kate hangs the IV bag from the pole beside the bed and makes sure the needle is secured to the back of Meredith's right hand before wrapping an automated blood pressure cuff to her left bicep and clipping a pulse ox monitor to her left index finger. Finally, Kate steps back almost as if she's admiring her work, before she grabs one of the rolling examination stools near the door and drags it over to the right side of Meredith's bed. She nods to me before grabbing the chart off the end of the bed. I drop down into the chair while she scribbles in the chart. I latch onto Meredith's hand, intertwining our fingers, and tracing the tape around the IV site with my thumb. I hear the chart thump back into the bucket and Kate clears her throat.
"I'll be back in about five minutes but she should be waking up shortly. If you need anything the call button is up there." Out of my peripheral vision I see her point towards behind the head of the bed. I nod, my eyes never leaving Meredith and the nurse slips away presumably to check on other patients. I scoot closer to the bed so my knees are pressed into the side. I gently place my hand over Meredith's cheek, running my thumb against the smooth plane of her cheekbone and squeezing her hand gently.
I'm here.
A minute goes by and there isn't a squeeze back which is a little disconcerting to be honest. I've gotten so used to her squeezing my hand back that it's weird to have her not react. The seconds tick by with the steady beeping of the heart monitor, while I wait patiently for any sign of wakefulness from Meredith.
After what feels like an eternity, there is the slightest hitch in her breathing, just a tiny little catch that's barely noticeable. I lean forward in my seat excitedly and run my hand through her hair.
"Meredith" I whisper. I'm disappointed when nothing happens. But then, then her fingers move just the tiniest bit, and her breathing picks up. I smile and release a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
"It's okay, take your time, you're okay, the surgery went great." I tell her. She wraps her fingers around my hand and gives it a weak squeeze. I squeeze back gently and her fingers twitch again. Her nose wrinkles the tiniest bit under the mask and then her eyelids slide open.
"Hi." I breathe, with an ear to ear grin. There's a million mile away quality to her look but I can tell from her half lidded, droopy gaze that she's looking at me. The oxygen mask fogs up as she exhales and her eyes droop closed but the heavy weight of worry has already been lifted off my chest. I stroke her knuckles with my thumb and kiss her cheek. I pull away and the door slides open revealing the return of Kate. Meredith lazily opens her eyes at the sound and Kate puts on a huge grin.
"Dr. Grey it's good to have you back. How are you feeling?" Kate chirps and Meredith stares at her with a dull, unresponsive look. "Any pain or discomfort?" Meredith shakes her head slowly. "Do you feel sick or nauseous at all?" Kate prods.
"Little" Meredith mumbles quietly. Kate pulls the chart off the end of the bed and begins scribbling in it while Meredith nods off again. It's short lived though when Kate reaches for the controls and begins to raise the bed and Meredith's eyes snap open in surprise.
"Sorry Dr. Grey but I need you to do a few things for me." Kate smiles sympathetically before removing the oxygen mask and replacing it with a nasal cannula. Kate unwraps her stethoscope from around her neck and places it on Meredith's chest. She listens for a few seconds before giving a small nod of approval.
"Alright Dr. Grey can you try leaning forward for me?" Meredith obliges and, using my hand for leverage, pulls herself forward with some effort and a grimace of pain. Kate presses her stethoscope to Meredith's back. Meredith flinches at the chill but Kate carries on until she gives another satisfactory nod.
"Everything sounds good Dr. Grey, now I just need you to take a big breath in for me and cough to clear your lungs. Okay?" Kate hands Meredith a pillow to cushion her incision. Meredith inhales deeply and lets out a hacking cough. Her eyes go as wide as saucers as her pain receptors kick in and she lets out a tiny heart breaking whimper. I place my hand on her back gently slide it up and down in silent support.
"I know that hurt Dr. Grey but I really need you to give me one more cough to make sure your lungs are clear. Then I can give you painkillers and something for the nausea too." Meredith is unresponsive to Kate's words
"Meredith you need to cough again." I whisper in her ear, gently running my hand down her back. She swallows hard before taking another shaky breath and letting it out in a weak cough.
"Okay Dr. Grey you can lie back down." Kate says and Meredith collapses back into the bed and closes her eyes. Kate disappears momentarily before returning with a plastic cup. She snags one of the rolling tables that are pushed up against the back wall of the room and wheels it over so that it is positioned over Meredith's bed. Kate then turns around and begins rummaging around in one of the carts also positioned against the back wall of the room. She returns with a vial of what I assume is morphine and begins fidgeting with Meredith's IV.
"I've given you some morphine Dr. Grey that should help with the pain. Also I would like you to try a few ice chips." Meredith simply nods with her eyes still closed.
"Dr. Bailey will be by in a few minutes." Kate says turning to face me."She'll do an exam then we'll see about moving her to the post-op ICU." I nod and Kate goes off to check on her next patient. My gaze turns to Meredith, who is vacantly staring at the cup of ice chips in front of her. She looks more…relaxed with the morphine coursing through her system, but still miserable.
"Hey." I whisper, more to get her attention than anything else.
"Hi." She croaks, her head lolling to face me. Her voice sounds rough and exhausted and it cracks a little. Her gaze is somewhere past my right shoulder, far off in another universe.
"You know." I say scooting a little closer. "I don't usually bend the rules for patients, but I might be inclined to, you know, give you little special treatment." I wink conspiratorially before jerking my head in the direction of ice chips still sitting on the rolling table. Meredith's gaze turns towards the tray and, after a few moments of processing, she gives a small smile before shaking her head slightly. She slowly lifts her arm and brings it to rest on the tray before loosely wrapping her fingers around the cup and pulling it towards her lips. She takes a sip before lowering the cup and closing her eyes in relief for her sore throat. She opens her eyes and lets me take the cup from her.
"Better?" I ask, putting the cup back on the table.
"Yeah" She nods, her voice sounding a lot smother but equally as exhausted. Her eyelids droop before snapping back open then drooping again. This time her eyes stay closed and her breathing evens out.
"I love you." I whisper. She mumbles something incoherent before sighing a little. As she sleeps, I take the time to notice our surroundings. There are three beds in this recovery room, with Meredith's being in the middle. The bed I'm facing is unoccupied, awaiting its next patient. The bed behind me looks to be occupied by a gentleman who seems to have had some sort of ortho procedure done. He is leaps behind Meredith, just barely managing to escape the inviting tendrils of the drugs. There is a glass door in front of each bed and rails that could allow curtains to surround the beds on the ceiling. There are various carts and waste bins pushed up against the wall, and machines surrounding the beds. Bright fluorescent lighting shines down from the ceiling reflecting off the white walls and linoleum flooring. The beeps and hums of the machines fill the room along with the sound of people breathing. The hum is interrupted when the door in front of Meredith's bed slides open and Miranda Bailey marches in.
"Ah Dr. Shepherd, why am I not surprised." She greets me sarcastically before pulling the chart of the end of the bed and flipping through it. "How's my intern?"
"She's…hanging in there." I say, my gaze focused on Meredith's sleeping face.
She looks so peaceful when she's asleep.
Dr. Bailey takes in all the information from the monitor before scribbling it into the chart and dropping it back on the end of the bed. She pulls her stethoscope out of the pocket of her lab coat.
"Why don't you wake her up?" Bailey nods toward Meredith. I press my lips to her cheek and she sighs in her sleep, her warm breath brushing across my face.
"Meredith." I whisper and her nose crinkles just the tiniest bit. I back off and let her wake up slowly.
"Hey." I smile when she cracks her eyes open. "Dr. Bailey is here."
"Mmmm." Meredith moans.
"I don't want to hear any of that Grey." Bailey scolds. "I'm just going to take a look at your incision then we'll see about getting you upstairs." Meredith gives a weak nod and lets Bailey pull back the thermal blanket covering her abdomen. She flinches at the chill but other than that she is a passive participant in the whole ordeal. That is, until Bailey begins palpating her abdomen.
"Nnnnn owww." Meredith groans, squirming in the bed.
"Shhh. Deep breaths, it'll be over in a minute." I back up my words with a squeeze of her hand. She groans again but stays still until Bailey finishes up.
"Okay, I'm done." Bailey declares. "Everything looks normal so I'll talk to the nurse and get you upstairs." Bailey turns on her heel to leave but Meredith stops her.
"How's Thatcher?" Bailey turns to face her with a reassuring half smile.
"He pulled through. There were a few complications, but he'll be fine. He's down in room 6." Meredith absorbs the information with an unreadable look on her face. Bailey lingers for a moment, but when Meredith doesn't react, she turns and leaves. Meredith stares at the tiled ceiling for a moment before her gaze turns back to me.
"Are you okay?" I ask and all I get for a reply is a shrug.
"Can you…put the bed down?" She says, but her eyes speak volumes.
I hurt, please don't make me talk too.
I reach for the bed controls and put the bed in an almost level position. Meredith's eyes flutter shut and her breathing evens out as she succumbs to exhaustion. I sit in silence for a few minutes. The man in the other bed has woken up and is snuffling around a bit. The room hums with energy and I begin to feel the effects of exhaustion setting in. As I feel myself dozing off, a team of orderlies enters with a gurney and nurse Kate at the head of the group.
"We're gonna get her upstairs now." Kate says and I am slowly edged out of the way as the orderlies take their positions around Meredith's bed. They count to three and effortlessly shift her over to the gurney. The rails are snapped up and I am allowed back at Meredith's side. I grab her hand as Kate transfers the IV, drains and leads. We begin the trek up to the post-op ICU. We're rounding the corner to the elevator when I feel Meredith's fingers move beneath mine.
"Stop!" I call and the gurney stops abruptly. Meredith's eyes are open and wide as saucers, with fear written across her face.
"It's okay. We're just going upstairs to the ICU." Meredith relaxes and I kiss her gently before motioning that we can move again.
When we board the elevator her eyes are already closed again.
Meredith has a private room in the ICU most likely due to the Chief. It's a standard room with a bed, two chairs and thankfully a couch. The orderlies transfer Meredith to the bed while Kate signs the chart over to the new nurse; Ryan I believe is his name. He briefly rouses Meredith and introduces himself and he gets her to cough again before letting her fall back to sleep. He continues checking over the all the wires and tubes and sets up a PCA pump. Afterwards he slips out, saying he'd be back in an hour. I move to stand by Meredith's bed. I grab her hand and gently squeeze and she opens her eyes.
"Hey." I whisper. She blinks at me and smiles a little.
"Do you need anything?" I ask and she thinks for a moment.
"Drugs" She says. I reach for the PCA controller and hand it to her.
"Here, you have pump now. Just don't go to crazy." I tease her. She smiles just a little before her eyes dip closed.
"I'm gonna sleep on the couch okay?" I tell her. "I love you."
"M'love you." She mumbles.
AN: Welcome to my story! I'm going to try and upload every Friday from here on out. You've already read the summary so I won't waste your time with that however I will tell you this story leans more towards real life accuracy than the show. In the show the plot line is added so that Ellen Pompeo could take a break and have a baby. It will follow the main points of the show but some things will be different. Please enjoy and leave a review!
Also if you have any good recommendations for a beta reader that would be REALLY helpful.
