Tales from Arkham

The Misadventures Harley Quinn

Disclaimer: Harley Quinn and other characters from the Arkham series are owned exclusively by D.C comics and all rights reserved and thanks to the creative mind of Bob Kane the creator of Batman, may he rest in peace. Enjoy the other side of the Dark Knight series

Prologue

"They say that true love is forever. Well I always thought that anyhow, but life can throw twists and turns at ya, and on that night when I lost everything it was all because of that blasted Batman, owwwww! How he pisses me off, any how this is a sad tale a tale of a lonely woman who was on top of world and it came crashing down in an instant. I lost the Joker, my only one and true love, how can I go on living" Harley said

Harley Quinn formally the right hand woman to the notorious clown prince of crime, the Joker.

Was now all alone, free to be the woman that she wanted to be, She was starting to have a flashback moment It has been two years after that night when during a rainstorm the two arch rivals the dark knight and the Joker, were whaling on each other.

A fight to the death!

Harley was waiting below the building to greet the winning either with a passionate kiss or a swift kick in the nuts depending if Joker was victorious then Harley would smoother him in kisses or if god forbid the victor was Bman then he had a surprise waiting for him.

"You better beat the crap out of that rodent so that we can get married and bless the world with little clowns, I'm always rooting for ya Mr. J" Harley said silently to herself

Every one grew silent, the only sound was the rain hitting the pavement beneath Harley feet, surrounded by an entourage of bodyguard thugs Batman wouldn't know what was coming.

On the roof Joker was getting under Batman's cloak

"oh looks like I have a Bat in belfree, hehehehehehehehehehe" Joker said

"Shut up Clown, I'm in no mood to deal with your shit, now where is that bomb?" Batman said

Batman and Joker continued to square off on the rooftop, the rain started to come down harder and harder and Joker laughed the entire time…

"On top of old Smokey, all covered in cheese. I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed.." Joker continued

"What the FUCK is wrong with you…you're a phystatoic raving lunatic" Batman said

"Oh I wouldn't go that far Bats, you know how sometimes people talk crazy because they are insane, well I talk this way because I AM CRAZY, I am the freaking Joker, and Bats. I always have the last laugh" Joker said

"Your wrong Joker, I will have the last laugh" Batman said grabbing Joker by his shirt collar drawing him in close

"Oh Bats, I didn't know that you felt this way about me, If you want a kiss you just had to ask, I mean you're not my type, you're not a cute blonde in pigtails but, beggars can't be choosers" Joker said

"Idiot! I'm not going to kiss you but rather I'm taking you back to Arkham, where you belong, you're not going to weasel your way out of this one, Gordon will be here in a few minutes to clean up, you'd be wise to let your little bitch know I'll be dealing with her soon enough" Batman said

"Why do I get the feeling that you won't be taking me out to dinner after all this" Joker remarked

"You'll be eating from a straw, keep talking you nut" Batman said angrily

Police sirens could be heard in the distance, then all of a sudden the Batcom rang in Bruce's ear it was Barbara Gordon, Commissioner Gordon's daughter she called herself Oracle after her little accident that forced her to be confined to a wheelchair, well it really wasn't so much an accident as it was the Joker's doing.

"Bruce? Can you hear Bruce?" Barb said in Batman's ear

"Go ahead Barb" Batman said

"Did you get Joker in custody yet?" Barb asked

"He's right here, and he's not going anywhere, is that all you wanted?" Batman said

"Hello cupcake, it's been a long time, can you shake that fine ass, no?" Joker said loud enough that Barb heard everything

"Man I hate that Clown, just as much as I know that you do" Barb said

"He never seems to shut his trap not for a minute, the clown bitch is the same now I know why they are together" Batman said looking at Joker

"What can I say the ladies dig me" Joker said

Below the Police arrived and Harley hid around the corner just out of sight, "you know what they say out of sight out of mind" Harley said watching her gang all get arrested by the cops

Harley heard Commissioner Gordon telling the cops to surround the area and to wait for the signal from the Batman

"Hold fast men, we wait for the Batman, Harley Quinn must be here somewhere, she's never that far from the Joker, be on guard" Commissioner Gordon said

Joker was pinned against the side of the roof, his purple suit pressed against the building, his suit all soaked and his makeup smeared and a hideous smile crept on his twisted face, he laughed uncontrollably.

"What is so funny Joker?" Batman said

"Ironic isn't it Bats that here we are fighting when we know that there is no end, because we both know that you never kill, you've never thought of killing, it's easier than you think…I killed my barber because he didn't cut my hair the proper way, slit his throat and watched him bleed dry, since then Harley has been keeping my hair cut to just the proper length and consistency, she may not be the brightest person but she tries, and that is all anyone can ask of her. Oh my looks like I want on another tangent there so sorry Bats I know that you have other plans for the evening, so I'll just be on my way then." Joker said

"You're not going anywhere Joker, unless it's to Arkham where you belong, there is a nice padded cell with your name written on it" Batman said

"Oh come on Batys we're buddies aren't we, you starch my back and I'll starch yours.." Joker said

"Shut up, Gordon can you hear me? This is Batman, I have Joker cornered and I'll be bringing him down, I'll personally be taking him to Arkham myself" Batman said into his intercom

"Finally we can bring this Charade to an end, we haven't caught Harley yet but I know that she is nearby waiting for the sadistic SOB that she calls puddin, always glad that we have you on our side" Gordon responded

"Yeah we're going on a little road trip, I always like spending time with you Bats, I'd like to think that we are kindred spirts and we will always be as such.. Don't you agree Bats. Oh shit" Joker said slipping on the edge of the building and falling off the side of the building

Batman instinctively reached out and grabbed the Joker by his shirt collar catching him just as he was falling

"See this is what I have been talking about Bats you simply cannot just let me go, if you wanted to kill me then you would've done so already, you really must care for me, hehehehehe" Joker said

"Not exactly Joker, see I'd much rather see you in the nuthouse then dead, too many innocent people have already met their end because of you or your little clown witch Harley, here I'll give you a hand just this once, don't ask me for a favor next time" Batman said lifting Joker up

"Thanks you Batman, you've saved my life…slapt! Ooops forgot about that little thing., ought oh, I"LLLL SEEEE YOU IN HELLLLL BATMAN!" Joker said as he fell from the rooftop, in a matter of mere minutes He hit the ground hard shattering every bone in his body, he was dead for sure..

"This isn't very funny, hahahahah..owww" Joker said barley able to speak

Batman was temporarily blinded do to the trickery of that vale clown, "Acid! I should have known, wait Joker?"

Batman ran over to the side of the building and looked down to see the outline of Joker lying there not moving, it was blurry but he knew that Joker was dead and he was to blame, He better get out of here before they suspect him of murder

"Hey look Batman pushed the Joker off the roof" A cop said looking up at where the Batman was standing

"Impossible I know him Batman doesn't kill, this is all a sick Joke, anyway call for a med unit we better scarp him up off the ground before he leaves a stain, what waste" Gordon said

Shaking his head in disgust.

As the cops spread out to survey the area, Harley slowly walked over and knelt down beside the Joker, he was in bad shape the worst that she had ever seen her beloved, with tears in her eyes she looked into his eyes with love and he mustarded up a enough strength to say

"Oh Harley my sweet, it looks like I'm not going to make it this time…Promise me dear that you will get revenge for me on the BatJerk, anyway I will always be with you, I want you to find happiness with a new love, but never forget the time that we have spent together.. all those long nights making sweet whoopy by the fire or on the beach, and that one time when you accidently got some sand in your vagina, boy where you ever irritated after that but in any case dearest Harley I will always love you, good bye my sweet my pudding pop, ahhhhhh!" Joker said dying

"No!Mr. J, no this can't be happing not like this.. not now not ever, I will get your revenge on the Buttman I promise but I don't think that I could ever love another, you were abusive at times but deep down I always knew that you loved me, as I have always loved you, I always felt that I could be me when we were together" Harley said holding the Joker's lifeless body in her arms, he had a smile on his face tears falling from her eyes hitting his cheeks

"Well Mr. J at least you went out with a smile on your face and you always said that you wanted to go laughing, that is you in a nutshell my beloved, I will never love another man as much as I have loved you, at least I know that your laughing up there with the other king of comedy like Isaac Hayes and Beanie Mac.." Harley said still holding Joker's lifeless body, she gently placed his head in her lap and cried and cried, rocking back and forth gently

Batman cleared his eyes from the acid to see Catwoman waiting there she looked worried

"What is now Selina? Why are following me?" Batman said

"As pleasant as always I see, so tell me Bruce is it really true did you kill the Joker? It kind of looked like he had done himself in, at least from where I was sitting just now" Catwoman said

"You know the answer to that question, of course I didn't kill him.. I tried to save him and he sprayed me with his bootiner and then. Well you know" Batman said not wanting to make eye contact with Catwoman

"I know sweetie, it was his own doing, go I'll cover for ya, you don't want to be here when the cops show up, you're the prime suspect after all, I'll catch up with you later" Selina said winking at Batman

"I owe you one for this Selina, yeah I'll see ya later, man this sucks, I'm no hero, I'm no different than every villain I've ever fought or locked up, I don't deserve to be the Batman" Batman said shooting his grapple gun making a quick escape

"I don't believe that for an instance Bruce you're the best hero that I know, sure this will take some time but we will get through this together" Selina said sighing

Harley was frozen in place she didn't care what happened next if she was going to be taken to jail or worse back to the Asylum she didn't mind she just wanted to be with her Joker, "oh my sweet puddin why did you have to leave me, I feel so empty without you" Harley said to herself, still with tears in her eyes she began to sing a hauntingly beautiful tune:

"Silent night, let me sleep away these memories within
sacrifices of purity are turning into sins
And this judgement day is growing near
And this confession is killing me again
This beautiful tragedy is crashing into me
This dying destiny
So now you lay yourself down in this grave with shattered eyes
Beautiful melodies to try and wash away the lies
And this judgement day is growing near
And this confession is killing me again
This beautiful tragedy is crashing into me
This dying destiny, take me away
This beautiful tragedy come crashing into me
This dying destiny
Will you be there
Will you be there by my grave
Or will you be the death of me
My beautiful tragedy
This beautiful tragedy is crashing into me
This dying destiny, take me away
This beautiful tragedy come crashing into me
This dying destiny"

Harley was still crying so hard that her eyes burned, she didn't even notice that she was completely surrounded by cops, all of them pointing guns right at her then she heard the gruff and familiar voice of the police Commissioner

"Ok move away from the Joker, Harley I'm taking you back to Arkham, there is a nice padded cell waiting for you there" Gordon said

"Fine, I won't put up a fight pig, just make sure that Mr. J has a nice grave for me to visit, understand me" Harley said

"I can't promise you anything dear but I'll see what I can do for you because it's never easy having to say goodbye to the ones we love, now move it you crazy broad" Gordon said helping Harley get to her feet and escorting her to the squad car and placing her in the back seat

The med team picked up the Joker's corpse and placed him a body bag to be exhumed by the medical examiners then to eventually be buried in Gotham Cemetery…

Chapter 1

Arkham Asylum Two years later… Present Day

The sounds of screams could be heard coming from the several rooms that lined the main area of the intensive treatment ward. It was just another day for Doctor Burton, the lead Physiatrist, he was promoted when Dr. Penelope Young died in that explosion in the warden's office when Joker briefly took over the Asylum. Even Professor Strange had met his end, so all that was left was Dr. Burton and his staff, he entrusted the security to Aaron Cash, and he hasn't been disappointed so far…

"Excuse me but are you Dr. Burton?" a woman asked

Dr. Burton turned around to see a young beautiful woman with short black hair and glasses, wearing a lab coat and name tag. It said Dr. Katz

"Yes I am Dr. Burton, what can I help you with ms" The doctor responded

" I am the new intern Selina Katz, I transferred here from New York City to study the patients with you, you're a legend Dr. Burton I've always wanted to meet you in person, this is such an honor, I am most intrigued by the one patient that simply refers to herself as Harley Quinn, can we see her?" Selina said with a smile on her pretty face

"Afraid not, that patient is under heavy guard and is constantly being monitored, her insane ramblings about the Joker and the Batman sends shivers down my spine, I'd rather not venture anywhere near that nutty broad, we have many other interesting patients that you can study if you like Dr. Katz" Dr. Burton said

"That's a real shame Dr. Burton I really wanted this opportunity to meet this Ms. Quinn, why is she here anyway" Selina asked already knowing the answer before she asked the question, actually the truth was that Selina knew Harley rather well, her and her late boyfriend Joker

"She is a grade A lunatic that deserves to be locked up, she is a crazy as they come" Dr. Burton said

A loud noise almost like an explosion was coming from solitary confinement, and some of the orderals came running into the room with looks of fear and their faces as white as ghosts when one stumbled over his words

"Dr. Burton, sir he's escaped! There was nothing that we could do he's really truly gone"

"What who are talking about? Oh shit not him, please god anybody but HIM" Dr. Burton said

"Who is that Dr. Burton?" Selina asked

"The worst possible person has escaped, The Scarecrow! If you excuse me dear I have to try to fix this" Dr. Burton said

This was just the opportunity that Selina needed, she'd wait till Dr. Burton was gone and go spring Harley after all that was the main reason that she was here

Dr. Burton ran off in the direction that the orderals came from…

Selina ran over to the hallway that led to where Harley was and paused "Great there are guards, oh well Selina it's now or never" She said quietly to herself

Selina jumped to the ceiling and crawled right over their heads as she approached the door she could hear a woman singing so Selina peered in through the little slit and saw that woman, it was defiantly Harley, those blonde pigtails a dead giveaway, Harley was holding onto a picture of whom else but Joker. Harley was signing to the picture. Selina liked the song she just stood there clinging to the ceiling and listened for a moment, Harley had such a pretty voice...

"There's no time for us, there's no place for us,
what is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us.
Who wants to live forever,
who wants to live forever...?
There's no chance for us,
it's all decided for us,
this world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.
Who wants to live forever,
who dares to love forever,
when love must die.
But touch my tears with your lips,
Touch my world with your fingertips,
And we can have forever,
And we can love forever,
Forever is our today,
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Forever is our today,
Who waits forever anyway?"

Harley started to cry again, she missed the Joker so damn much.

"Doesn't she know any other songs; she's always signing either that song or that other Queen Song… "The show must go on"… Shut up in there willya!" One guard said to Harley through the slit in the cell door

"Hey I like those songs man and I rather think she's hot, do you think it'd be alright if I dated her? Just kidding" the other guard said

"I wouldn't try it if I were you man, she hasn't been the same since the Joker died, it'd be your funeral" The first guard said

"Wait The Joker died? When did that happen?" the other guard asked

"Two years ago in that death trap that Professor Strange created something called Arkham City... yeah I was stationed there and it was like a giant prison, all those inmates running around and all the psychos too, talk about a nightmare" the first guard said

"Glad I missed that one" The second guard said

"Lots of death and a lot of cleaning up to do as well, we managed to get most of those nuts and lock them up here, some of them slipped out without us even knowing, there was the plant lady, that human popsicle Freeze, the big guy in the Mask Bane I think they called him, that skinny guy in Green Riddle something and others, I wished that they would have just shut this place down" that one guard said

"Yeah this place is creepy man, did you hear that wackjob the Scarecrow escaped, he does something to your mind man, like he somehow gains control of it by playing off your worst fears, all of these freaks in one place, that is a recipe for distorter" the other guard said

Selina quietly dropped behind the two guards and smacked their heads together and said

"Sleep well boys, I need some girl time with Ms. Quinn, now which one has the keys"

She searched around the bodies and found it on a key ring that one of the guards had

"Bingo, this kitten got the cream, meow!" Selina said opening the door...

Harley had a dumb look on her face, she couldn't quite place it this woman looked very familiar like it was someone that she's known for a while, but what was it about this doctor looking woman that was so familiar, Harley spoke first

"Is it time for my medication or something? Wait you're not Dr. Burton, just who are you?"

The woman removed her glasses and smiled at Harley and spoke

"Didn't recognize me huh, not really all that surprised it's you after all Harley, you still don't know, ok I'll give ya hint, meow" Selina said

"What the Catwoman!?, why are you here, I mean aren't you usually hanging out with Bman? You're the last person that I thought come to save me" Harley said

"Occasionally I do help out the Bat and yes we are currently dating again but I have my own reasons for freeing you, you see things have been too quite around here, we have to shake things up every once in a while keep the Bat on his toes, and well I hate to admit this but I've missed you" Selina said

"Really truly, you missed me? Wow I didn't think that we were even friends? Why with the Joker and all, that is rather sweet Selina" Harley said shocked

"Oh please don't get all sentimental on me now, if we're going to leave then we have to go now! I only knocked those guards out they'll come to soon, and then there will be a lot more guards and I'd rather not stick around for that" Selina said

"Lead the way, but before we go please can you take this damn straight jacket off me it itches something fierce" Harley asked

"Well I guess that your too small "minded" to run away from me, so why not" Selina said walking over to were Harley was standing and Selina started to struggle with the buckles and Harley giggled

"Stop it Selina I'm really ticklish, hhehheeheh" Harley said

"You know if you wouldn't move around so much then this would go a lot faster" Selina said

Selina got the last belt free and the jacket fell to the ground around Harley's bare feet

"Thanks sweetie I can finally move, that's a lot better" Harley said stretching

"Just move it Quinn, I think those guards are starting to come to" Catwoman said

"Alright alright already geez your pushy, it's amazing that the Bat can even put up with you no less sleep with you, oh darn it I almost forgot the most important thing the only thing that I have that reminds me of my dear Joker" Harley said grabbing the picture of Joker with lipstick smeared all over it, the same one that she was singing to earlier

Selina just rolled her eyes as Harley joined her

"Forget anything else?" Selina said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice

"Nah I'm good, let's just get as far from here as possible, by the way where are we going anyway?" Harley asked

"well since this is a breakout and you're a fugitive I'll let you stay at my place for as long as you need, it will be nice to have another girl around, sure I have lots of cats but they don't talk back so the conversations tend to be rather one sided, but I'm sure that your use to that sort of thing" Selina said to Harley as she lead her out

The two girls ran holding hands the Asylum just a memory now as it could be seen in distance, from a distance it kind of resembled a haunted castle the kind that you see in horror movie or something a rather eerier sight the kind that sends shivers down your spine.

Riddler had devised the perfect scheme to keep the Dark Knight at bay, Edward Nygma always liked to prove that he is the most intellectual of all of Batman's adversaries. Riddler sort of hoped secretly that Catwoman could be here as well, he had a score to settle with these two after his humiliation back in Arkham. He left little green question marks all over the streets of Gotham, it would take Batman forever to collect all of these seemingly useless trinkets and while Batman was playing this little game the Riddler would collect his own trophies of sorts, the Arkham Asylum staff would do rather nicely and the grand prize his own personal physician Doctor Timothy Burton. Riddler despised the Doctor and would gladly have killed the bastard if the opportunity was right, hell the night was still young after all.

The girls had been running for a while now and both nearly exhausted when they stopped at Selina's apartment. The sight of cats a dead giveaway there must have been a half dozen fur balls waiting by the door.

"Ah there you are my babies, mommy is home" Selina said to her cats

"You really must really like Cats huh Selina, I thought it was just a gimmick of yours, like you liked to dress up as a cat being a cat burglar and all" Harley said as Selina opened the door the cats rushing in the apartment at the girls feet

"Former burglar, now I spend most of my time fighting crime, must be the influence of Batman I suppose, I saw the light in a manner of speaking, you know Harley it's still not too late for you to reform, no one is holding you back you can do as you please and I have some information about the night that Joker died that you need to know but why not take a shower and I'll get you something to wear and make you something to eat, but I have to feed the family first they must be starving, bathroom is the third door on your right." Selina said closing the door behind them and motioned for Harley to head in that direction

"Thanks I could really use a shower and I am really hungry too, the Asylum food is just terrible, it's been awhile since I've had a home cooked meal or even a shower my hair is all matted and my makeup all crusty and gross, I never thanked you for earlier Selina your just too kind to little ol me" Harley said winking at Catwoman

"What are friends for after all, we can talk about stuff after you get cleaned up" Selina responded as she opened the fridge and got some milk for the cats, she took a long sip right from the jug and then poured the rest out for the cats in the dishes that lined her kitchen floor, it appeared that more cats had showed up now at least eight or nine one for each of her lives (just kidding).

Harley felt exhilarated, the warm water from the shower felt wonderful against her naked body, she soaked it up and applied soap all over herself and said laughing

"Ah how I love you Mr. Bubble, you make me feel like new, hehehehehehe"

Nearly a half an hour passed and Selina knocked on the door and asked Harley

"Harley are you ok, you didn't drown in the tub did ya, I found some clean clothes for you to wear and dinner is almost ready"

"Thanks again sweetie, this is almost too good to be true" Harley said

(Beep,Beep,Beep)

"Shit the smoke alarm, I have to take care of this dearie, so please put these on when you get out of the shower, you may use the towels" Selina said

Selina ran into the kitchen, smoke was billowing out of the frying pan on the stove, she rushed over to take it off the stove before a fire could start, she also turned off the stove, and opened the kitchen window to let out the cloud of smoke, she coughed a little, as she was throwing out the burnt food a familiar figure was crouched on the balcony, his black cape flowing in the breeze and a look of disgust on his face, who else but the Batman.

"Still can't cook without burning the food huh?" Batman spoke

"So, Alfred prepares all of your meals have you ever tried cooking yourself, what is it, I'm busy tonight" Selina said

"I'm afraid that there is work to do, I stopped at the Asylum before coming here, there all gone, even Harley somehow escaped, but what is worse is now that Crane is free, Gotham with no doubt become his next target, I'd hate to see what the Scarecrow has in store for the citizens of our fair city, I also noticed that Dr. Burton and the Staff are missing, a letter from Riddler, here take a look at this" Batman said handing the letter to Catwoman

"Ah dark Knight, you are still several steps behind me, see the Scarecrow and the clown girl are now free, which means little to me, so we are going to play a little game, you can't stop it fail to compile and I'll kill the hostages, what is going to be Batman? Play the game to save the weak minded simpletons from Arkham or let die your beloved city, the choice I leave to you, choose wisely now, solve my Riddles, collect the trophies and save the hostages, oh if you happen to see Catwoman tell her that I have plans that regard her as well. Your first clue can be found in the Church, tic toc Dark Knight"

Signed Edward Nygma aka the Riddler

"What is this crap, Bruce, you're going to the church right? Be careful it's no doubt a trap, I'd love to go with you but an old friend has stopped by and we have a lot of catching up to do, Call me later if you need my help with Riddler, how I'd love to get even with that son of a bitch but right now I can't" Selina said

"Fine, I'll go I can't help feel that you don't want me around right now for whatever reason, it isn't your monthly visitor aunt Flo again is it? You get awfully moody whenever she is around" Batman said

"It's not that Bruce I really have a friend over, and that aunt Flo joke is so nineties cliché', but I do worry and it's not just about Riddler's zany scheme, but Scarecrow is out as well and if he discovered your identity that would be it for the Batman, what are going to do Brucie?" Selina said

"Well when we come to that bridge then I guess that we'll have to cross it, I'll stop Crane, Two face, Riddler and any other criminal that I've faced before, love ya" Batman said kissing Catwoman passionately

Selina kissed back and said

"Please Bruce, don't be reckless I don't want this to be our last night together, so promise me that you'll stay with me, even if things turn south, I couldn't stand to lose you, not after what I saw what Joker's death did to poor crazy Harley" Selina said

"Yeah, and don't worry your pretty little head about it, I have a plan, I always do" Batman said

"That's what I'm truly afraid of" Selina whispered slightly as she watched Batman leave hoping that this wouldn't be the last time the two ever saw each other.

The End of Chapter one

Author's note: So this is an idea that came to me while playing the Arkham game series, I wanted to write a story based on the events that followed the Joker's death, I noticed that this strongly resembles the plot line of Arkham Knight but honestly it isn't, it was inspired by Knight but it has its own story line, hope you'll review it and comment on it but please try to stay positive with your comment's as no one, and I mean no one wants to hear someone bring them down especially when it's a fanfic, if you want realism then get yourself a non-fiction book as no one is forcing you to read this or any fic on this site.

I'd also like to give special thanks to the music that inspires me so for starters In this Moment for the song "Beautiful Tragedy" as with the ever famous Rock band Queen for their song "Who wants to live forever"

In the coming chapters I will have more songs and some more interesting plot developments.