A/N: I'm highly aware that some if not all of the "facts" in this story are wrong. This is for your entertainment only. Seriously, guys, I cannot stress this enough. THIS IS TO MAKE YOU LAUGH. It serves no other purpose than that.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter or Hunger Games characters. J.K. Rowling and Suzanne Collins are the beautiful masterminds behind these totally awesome characters. I just burrowed them.
Seamus rushed into the Gryffindor Common Room and looked all around until he saw the face he was looking for. "Hermione!" he yelled, running over to her. It looked like she was helping Ron with his Transfiguration homework.
Hermione turned around and smiled once she saw Seamus. "Oh, hi Seamus," she said. "What do you need?"
"I need you in the library," he said. "It's an emergency."
"More important than our test tomorrow?" Ron asked in an annoyed voice. "Look, we really have to-"
"It'll only take a moment, I swear!" Seamus urged on. "Just let me borrow her for a moment."
"I am not an object, Seamus Finnegan," Hermione said to him.
Ron sighed and rubbed his temples. The boy could obviously not tell Ron just wanted to spend time with Hermione. "My God, you are so dim," Ron muttered as Hermione giggled. "Sure. Go ahead, I don't care anymore. I'll see you later, Granger."
"See you, Ron," Hermione laughed as Ron climbed the stairs to the boys' dorm. Then she turned back to Seamus. "What can I help you with?"
Seamus grabbed her hands and dragged her out of the common room, through the halls of Hogwarts, and into the library. He looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, then pulled a book off the shelf and handed it to Hermione.
She turned the book over in her hands and stared at the cover. "The Hunger Games? What is this?"
"The best book I've ever read in my life," Seamus said with glee in his voice.
Hermione smirked at him. "No offense, but I wouldn't be surprised if this is the only book you've ever read."
"That is not true! Remember last year, I read-"
"Twilight does not count!"
"You all say that, but I found it to be a good read."
"Anyway," Hermione said loudly before Seamus could say anything else absurd, "what is this book about?"
Seamus began explaining the plot of the story to her, and once he mentioned how twenty-four kids had to fight to the death, she gasped and exclaimed, "That's barbaric!"
"I know, right? It's terrible! Makes an incredibly great story plot… but horrible none the less! And the main character, Katniss Everdeen, has to go through so much to save the people that she loves, and she still manages to stay really, really fit…"
Hermione snapped her fingers in front of his face and said, "Seamus, get to the point! Why do you want me to know about this book?"
"Okay." Seamus took a deep breath and stared at her. "I want you to send me into this book."
Hermione stared at her friend with an unbelievable look on her face. "Send you… into the book."
"Yes."
"The Hunger Games."
"Mhmm."
"Where children have to kill each other for the entertainment of sick and twisted people."
"This is correct."
Before he knew it, Hermione was hitting him repeatedly over the head with the book. "Are you mad? Why would you want me to do that?"
Seamus yelled as she continued to hit him harder and harder, earning a hush from Madam Pince. "Hermione! Ow! Stop hitting me! Will you just listen?"
"What? Please humor me with your outrageous reason to go into a book that dangerous!"
"Look, I think I might be able to help them out." He finally grabbed hold of her arm and snatched the book from her hands. "I've thought about this for a while."
"Even so, what makes you think I can send you into a book?"
Seamus gave her a sarcastic look. "My God, woman, you're the smartest witch of our age! I know you've had to have come across some book with a spell or something telling you have to travel between books! Look me in the eyes and tell me you haven't, and I won't believe you for a moment."
Hermione sighed. Of course he was right. She'd actually come across it in her third year and had used it to go into one of her favorite books, Wuthering Heights. "Oh, Heathcliff," she said dreamily, then shook her head of any thoughts and looked at Seamus. "Okay, so maybe I have. Still, this book is incredibly dangerous. Just because we won't be from that world doesn't mean we're immune from being hurt or worse, killed."
"I want to go to the day before the games, when all the tributes are still alive," Seamus said. "I want to talk to Katniss and convince her that we can take down the Capitol together. I mean, she's The Girl on Fire and I… well, I like to make things go boom. All of Hogwarts know this." Seamus gave her puppy dog eyes. "Please, 'Mione? For your favorite Irish friend?"
Hermione groaned as she pushed Seamus away. "Fine, fine, I'll do it. Just don't ever call me 'Mione again."
Katniss stared at her ceiling as she lay in her incredibly comfortable Capitol bed that night. It was her last night before The Hunger Games would begin. For all she knew, tomorrow, she and Peeta could be dead. She knew she'd promised Prim she would win the games for her, but even with her high score from the Peacemakers, she still didn't believe the odds were in her favor. She wished there were some way she could just go back home to District Twelve and be with Prim, Gale, Madge, and even her mother.
She left her bed to go to the bathroom, but the moment the door was closed, she heard a noise come from her bedroom. It sounded as if bodies had landed on her bed. Surely, Peeta wasn't in there, was he? She put her ear against the door and listened for voices.
"We're lucky this bed was here or that could have been tragic," she heard a male voice say. It was a voice she'd never heard before with an unfamiliar accent. He couldn't have been from the Captiol.
"Agreed," a female voice replied in a different, yet still unfamiliar accent. "Do you know where we are?"
"No idea. We are possibly in her bedroom, but I don't see Katniss anywhere."
Katniss slowly and soundlessly opened the door to see who was speaking. She saw a boy and girl around her age sitting on her bed, looking around her room. The girl had a stick in her hand that showered her room with a bright blue light. The boy got up and walked around the room, his eyes settling on the bathroom door.
"Maybe she's in the bathroom. Should I check?"
The girl flicked her glowing stick and threw a pebble at the boy's head. "Seamus, you can't just go in the bathroom and ask if she's in there! I worry about you sometimes… There is no way you are as thick as you appear."
"Sorry, Hermione," he said as he rubbed the spot on his head where he was hit by the pebble. "I'm just really eager to meet her. I need her to take my idea seriously. This could save her, all of District Twelve, and all of the other districts. This could even get rid of the Hunger Games forever."
Katniss had heard enough. She opened the door and stepped back into her room, Hermione and Seamus' eyes landing on her. "Who are you people?" she asked, "and how do you know about me? Why do you want to help me?"
Seamus watched her eyes glow with mild anger and he suddenly became very excited. He was standing in front of THE Katniss Everdeen! "You're… you're…" he stuttered. He couldn't get his words out. He turned to Hermione for help.
Hermione stood up and said to Katniss, "Allow me to introduce ourselves. I'm Hermione Granger, and that babbling idiot over there-" she pointed the stick to the blushing boy "-is Seamus Finnegan. We've come here because-"
"Wait," Katniss said, cutting her off. "Hermione Granger? Seamus Finnegan?" She stared them both down and realized they matched their exact descriptions. That would explain the glowing sti... the wand. "No way. Who are you really?"
"I just told you," Hermione said. "As I was saying-"
"No, no, you can't be, because Hermione Granger and Seamus Finnegan are characters in the Harry Potter books," Katniss stated. "I haven't read them since I was a kid, but I remember them because they were some of my favorite characters."
"The Harry Potter series?" Seamus exclaimed. "You mean they actually write books about our lives and they're named after Harry?"
"I'm not surprised," Hermione said. "Harry is The Boy Who Lived and The Chosen One. Of course they would be named after him."
"Yeah, but he was also a nutcase at a time. They really want to name books after him, they should call the series, The Chosen Nutcase Who Lived."
Katniss couldn't keep herself from laughing at him. "Okay, okay. If you guys are who you say you are, then why are you here? Why aren't you back at Hogwarts?"
"I read your story, Katniss," Seamus said, stepping closer to her. "You are in a book series too, The Hunger Games. Your story was so amazing… but the ending was so sad… I wanted to come in here and help you have the happy ending you deserve."
Katniss gulped when he mentioned how her ending was sad. "Why is my ending sad? What happens?"
Seamus sighed. "I'd rather not tell you. Just know that if my plan works, the people you love will be safe and sound and the Capitol will be destroyed."
"Well gone on, then. Tell me your plan."
Seamus looked at both girls and took a deep breath. Then, with much excitement, he said, "We're going to set fire to rain over the Capitol."
Not a sound was made as Hermione and Katniss stared blankly at Seamus. Finally, Hermione said, "That's your big plan? Acid rain?"
"No, not acid rain!" Seamus cried. "Didn't you hear me? We're going to set fire to the rain."
"She's right Seamus. That's acid rain," Katniss chimed in.
"Oh, what do you girls know?" he muttered as he walked over to window.
Hermione walked over to him, ready to defend herself. "Excuse me? Wasn't it just you who called me the smartest witch of our age not even an hour ago?"
"Maybe."
Katniss walked over to them and said, "Look, Seamus, I love that you want to help Panem. Seriously, I do. But there is just no way you can set fire to the rain and destroy the Capitol."
-Twelve and Half Hours Later-
"I can't believe you set fire to the rain and destroyed the Capitol," Katniss stated as the train zoomed out of the burning city. All of the tributes from Districts one through twelve were on the train, safe and sound, and headed back to their districts. Along with them were the district mentors, very few of the stylists, including Cinna, and Effie Trinket, whom Katniss just couldn't stand to see die with the rest of the Capitol.
"I can't believe that plan actually worked," Hermione said in awe, looking at her friend. "Seamus, I'm sorry I ever doubted you."
"Perfectly fine, my dear," Seamus said with his feet propped up on the seat. He turned to Katniss. "I just saved you two years of heartache and hurtfulness, all with just a little bit of magic." He smiled as he sighed and stared at the sky. "Adele would be proud."
"Who?" Hermione and Katniss asked in unison.
"Never mind," he said, putting his feet on the floor. "So Miss Everdeen, I must say you and I make a great team. You know, you being The Girl on Fire and me and my knack to make things go boom."
Katniss couldn't help but laugh every time he said that. He was an adorable, child-like arsenic. "I would say so, Mr. Finnegan."
"You know, I don't necessarily have to go back to Hogwarts…"
With that said, Hermione grabbed Seamus' hand and said, "Come on, it's time we get back to Hogwarts. You're drunk with power and you've had too much fun."
"No!" Seamus whined. "We can't leave yet! Katniss, how will you deal with this aftermath without me?"
"I'm sure I will figure out something," she said to him. "But Hermione is right. You have to go back to your own book. If it helps any, in your seventh year, you get to blow up a bridge. I'm pretty sure you don't want to miss that."
Once he heard this, Seamus turned to Hermione and said, "Get your wand ready, Hermione. Hogwarts needs us."
Hermione shook her head as Katniss laughed at Seamus once more. "Oh, one more thing," Seamus said.
"Yes?"
"I like Peeta, and I like the idea of you two making toast babies, but I say stick with Gale," Seamus said to her. "You two are my secret ship. Plus, he calls you Catnip! The boy has a nickname for you! Stick. With. Gale." Seamus mouthed the last three words.
Katniss raised an eyebrow, understanding only a handful of what he said, and replied with, "Gotcha. Just as long as you stick with Lavender."
"I knew I liked you for some reason," Hermione said. Goodbyes were said, and then Hermione cast the spell to send her and Seamus back to their time and universe. The second they were gone, Peeta walked through the train door and sat next to Katniss.
"Well this has been a strange trip, hasn't it?" he said, propping up his legs and putting his arm around her.
"You're telling me." Katniss stared at his arm around her, then looked at him and said, "What do you think you're doing?"
Peeta look thoroughly confused as he slowly pulled his arm away from her. "I was… uh… resting, I guess."
"Mhmm, sure," Katniss said. "You're just trying to set me up to make toast, aren't you? Not today, Peeta Breadman! Not today." Katniss quickly hopped off the seat and ran into the next room, leaving Peeta even more confused than he was before.
Fin.
A/N: I've been thinking of writing this for a while. Didn't think I actually would, but I'm glad I did. I had a lot of fun with it. There is a picture that goes with it, but I can't find it for the life of me. It's my first crossover, so please be nice! Hope you guys like it as much as I do. And please, PLEASE, do not slam me for the Katniss/Gale thing. Other than that, please read and review! Reviews make a happy author and happy authors tend to write more. :D
