"Your mom." Said Edward to Bella.

"EDWARD!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" I yelled at his smirking face, but on the inside I was thinking WTF?

"You heard me, ugly, scrawny beanpole."

"Edward, if you continue on this road, then we are OH-VER."

Before I had time to react Edward had thrown a rock at my face.

"Hey, how did this tooth get in my hand?" After the words came out, I realized it was mine, and I was bleeding. This made me FURIOUS. "EDWARD, what was that for?"

"Oh, oh I think you know…it's about last summer…you…the Jacuzzi…and Jacob Butt."

"His last name is BUH-LACK!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

"SO YOU DON'T EVEN DENY IT?" He returned, and picked up another rock. I knew I had some quick thinking to do. But just as he was winding up to make the throw, Jacob burst into the room.

"JACOB! RUN, BEFORE HE THROWS A ROCK AT YOUR FACE!"

"Bella, I don't have to worry about this jokester. I am a werewolf."

"WHAT?" This came out of no where. I was so surprised, I actually wet my pants.

"Werewolf, eh? Well, I am a VAMPIRE." Edward said.

"Ohmigosh." I felt a little woozy. "Well, guys, let's just be simple about this…no fighting, please or it will hurt my feelings."

"In that case…" And Edward threw a rock at Jacob's face. Jacob opened his mouth and swallowed the rock.

"Wow!" I cried. Jacob smiled his special smile. And I smiled back, until another rock hit me in the face.

"HI-YAH." Jacob war-cried. He ran at Edward, but Edward was too fast, before I could even blink, he had morphed into an iguana, and ran away.

"I showed him." Jacob said, looking wistfully after where Edward-the-iguana had scurried.

"Oh yes Jake, yes you did."

We kissed passionately, but our problems were far from over. Little did I know, Edward had gone to his gecko brother, Jasper, with whom he was raising a reptile army.