How Mario Starts His Day
This is going to be short. So sit your big fat-ass down because I have a laser pointed right at your head, and you click that back button, your brain will splat all over the wall, so just read it!
Mario wakes up at five in the morning because he felt something gushy in his underwear. "Oh SHIT I had a dream about princess Peach again!" So Mario took off his underpants and put his underwear inside of a blender. He turned it off and squeezed the rest out before he could go to the bathroom. He came back and poured the "smoothie" into a cup. Luigi was of course in his room watching cartoons (they come on early, right?) Mario shouted "Luiiiiiiigiiiiiii! I wanna ask you a question!" Luigi Runs across the room and trips and and falls by Mario's feet, and you hear a snapping sound, if you know what I mean. "Luigi, you know how I owe you that five bucks?" said Mario. "Well instead I got you a smoothie from McDonalds that costed ten bucks."
"Wow, Mario! THIS IS THE NICEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE FOR ME!" Luigi took the smoothie and ran away. "Dumbass" Mario whispered. Mario walked over to the coffee, still naked, and pours himself a cup. Princess Peach walked in, but thank GOD Mario had a robe on by then. She said "Did you make your brother start foaming from the mouth? And for some reason he's peeing in his pants."
"Oh yeah." Said Mario "It's my new medicine, since I'm a doctor today. It's called 'White sunshine smoothie with a hint of tighty whities!" Princess Peach said "Mario, I'm getting tired of this bull shit you're always doing to your brother Luigi!" Mario said "Dang, princess, what's up your vagina!"
"Bowser's dick two weeks ago, because you were too lazy to save me!"
"Oh BOO HOO, I took ONE day off!" said Mario.
"Well," Peach said "The only reason I'm here is because I'm feeling very strange down there." Mario said "Okay get up on the table." He looked out the window real quick and saw Luigi "Doing a barrel roll" and still foaming from the mouth, but I think this time he was shitting his pants! So Mario took a look. Mario throws his hands in the air and yells "OH MY GOD!" and Peach goes "WHAT!"
"I Dropped my pants! And you also have... My gameboy in there!"
"That's all it was?"
"Oh yeah, one more thing. You have crabs." Princess Peach ran straight off crying going toward Daisy's house.
After that, Mario sat down and Luigi walked in still foaming from the nose but this time I think he had blood running down his mouth. He said "Here's a p-p-p-package, Mario!" sounding like Micheal Jackson. Mario ripped the thing open and said "Oh my god... they actually did it! They made a chocolate bar that is shaped like ME!" Mario ate the whole thing and he had a strange sensation. "This doesn't taste like chocolate..." he said "This tasted something like-" He realized that Luigi was picking his ass with a stick, while fingering and fingering an ant hill.
"LUIGI, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The End
ps. Luigi's dick broke, in case you didn't get it, dumbasses.
