AN: This is a *very* short piece on how sad it is that on the last episode of 2013 Damon decided to sabotage his relationship with Elena. I chose Stefan to be the voice that reflects on this because he is the one that has know Damon the longest.

Hope someone out there enjoys it.

*** If you want a soundtrack for this story, check out The Rasmus - October & April ***


Stefan hits his head against the wood paneling, feeling weary and morose. He has just heard Damon let Elena go… Tell her that they are through…

He could swear he heard her heart shatter… except that maybe it was his own that was making that wailing noise. It hurt to see his older brother do what he always did… Abandon the battle, run away from the war, claim it was for a noble cause when it is the same old story… Damon doesn't think he deserves happiness and he can't stay to watch his hopes and dreams crumble…

You do this… You know you do…

When the dust starts to settle, when things calm down, you always find a way to sabotage the good in your life…

Saboteur that you are brother…

You like it that way. You think you deserve it…Somewhere in that messed up brain of yours, you've decided long ago that you are not deserving of love, happiness or any of the good things others seek in life.

How could you? How can you do that to yourself?

You find excuses and you yield their sharp blades to undo all that is bright and good… You welcome the dark, the pain and the vile stench of exile… You wrap yourself with it like a shield and you think that you are being smart…

You fool!

You find tears in the fabric of your undead life and you rip everything apart… The way you waste your opportunities is a luxury you shouldn't afford… One day the well will dry out... One day there won't be another chance.

You told Elena that you were walking away because you refuse to change her…

Coward!

Liar!

The truth is that you are too scared to stay. To commit and fight…

You've always done that, reveled in the chase, in the plotting and scheming. You love flirting with disaster, with the forbidden limits life throws at you… And sometimes you win. You catch your quarry and become master of your fate… And what do you with that? You squander it…

Must be hard to live with a cemetery in your head…Graves full of the opportunities you gave up because, once you had what you wanted, you ran scared…

Why can't you love yourself?

Why can't you see what others see in you?

Why is it so hard to find your own self worth?

Why must you punish yourself so harshly?

You are capable of love… You are loved… What else is there to life Damon? Love is what keeps us human brother…

All other trappings turn to dust… But love survives even that… So why can't you see? Why can't you allow yourself to be loved?

Elena loves you!

She loved you even when she didn't know she did.

The ragtag family of friends we have loves you too… We are bonded by strife, grief and love…Why can't you see?

I am blood of your blood and I love you… Stop running away… Stop sabotaging the good in your life…

We may be destined to burn in hell you and I for what we are, for what we've done, for whom we've became… But there is enough hell in this life that you should learn to appreciate the glimpses of heaven you get… You should want to embrace them and keep them… not toss them to the wind…

Why can't you brother?

Stefan sighed heavily, walking up the stairs to his room… He could hear the echoes of the quiet sobs of his ex-girlfriend grating against his heart… Both of them in mourning for the blue eyed man that wasn't capable of believing he was worthy of love…


AN: Hope you liked it :)