Alright, this is a product of me feeling sad when my mom used a derogatory term for gays. Note: This is not a sunshine and Klainebows story. (If you want that kind of story, you can go read Klaine Drabble Collection on my profile.) This is my first angst story. For now it's just a one-shot, but possibly I'll make it a two-shot. It's slightly AU, and kind of made me depressed while writing it. But I hope I did ok!
Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I was not Ryan Murphy. *Checks again* Yep, definitely still just a fangirl. I don't own Glee, folks.
Kurt snuggles into me closer on the couch. I sigh contentedly. Sure, he's too good for me. It's only a matter of time before he figures out what kind of person I am.
The broken, empty person who is always putting up a mask because he doesn't want anyone to see him for what he is. A coward. A fragile, dejected victim still scarred from his old high school experience.
The Sadie Hawkins dance was just a small part of it. Derogatory terms and locker shoves came my way almost every class change at Westerville High. Nobody liked me. I sat alone at lunch and felt the glares of them all from behind. I stopped singing. It brought me no joy anymore.
And then Nathan came. He was newly out, just like me. Neither of us were proud quite yet, but were all too eager to change that. I just wanted so desperately to be happy. So I asked him to that stupid dance. We went, and had a perfectly awkward time. And then...that thing happened. I ran away from it all. To Dalton.
So of course, everything got better. Sort of. I settled in after a while and joined the Warblers. They were blown away by my talent, and put me as the lead soloist. I love the Warblers. I can sing joyful songs and smile wide, and just for a minute feel like I'm worth something. But then I remember who I am, and what's wrong with me.
So in strides Kurt, confident and strong. He's gone through so much more than me, and he's still so much stronger. I'm weak. Which brings me back to the original point. I don't deserve him. He's so perfect in every way, and I'm just a small, scared, damaged guy throwing an inner pity party.
"Hey Blaine?" Kurt asked softly. I force my head up to look at him.
"Yeah?"
"I love you." He murmurs. I tense in his arms. No. This isn't happening. No one can love me. Especially not beautiful Kurt. He needs someone who can be good to him, not someone like me who will just drag him down. No. He can't love me.
"W-what? No...I-I" I sputter. I untangle myself from him and get up. Kurt looks up at me with hurt filled eyes.
"Blaine?"
"I'm sorry." I whisper and walk out quickly.
Kurt doesn't love me. He can't. And the thought plaguing my mind as I drive home in tears is:
I'm unlovable.
A/N: Please don't kill me. I know, unresolved angst and all...if I get enough reviews telling me to, I may write a second chapter. Really, it would mean a lot to me if you'd leave your thoughts!
