Promises don't last forever.
I made a promise that I would get his body back. I promised that I would protect him, and care for him, and be there for him forever and now he's gone. I swore it on my life. And as far as I know I'm still alive. Or maybe I'm in hell. I don't even know anymore. Alive, dead, purgatory. Is there a difference?
Alphonse. Alphonse Elric. He was my brother, my baby brother. He was my only family. And I had made him disappear. I hate myself for it. No matter how many memories I have, they'll never bring Al back. And I won't even think about using that.
The goddamn stone that made me lose my goddamn family.
I can't even begin to describe how much even thinking about the Philosopher's Stone sickens me. When you look down memory lane you shouldn't see hell. And that's all the stone had brought me. Pain. Misery. Emptiness. Loneliness. Sure, I can 'promise' that I won't 'ever think about it again' but I'm human. Humans are notorious for breaking promises. It's what we do. Go figure.
It's funny when you look at it. Funny in a heartbreaking way. People promise things they know they can't do because it gives them purpose. It makes them feel good about themselves and when the people they promised to find out that they lied, they promise it won't happen again. Promises, lies, heartbreak. And then there's another promise. The circle continues.
I've promised so many things in my life. Some of them I can remember, and others have faded, blurring together like water on pencil marks. It hurts to know that I can't fulfill any of them. Promises don't last forever. And people I love are counting on me to do them all. Dammit. Dammit!
I stare out the windows of the train, the fast-moving scenery swirling together in a mix of blues and greens. I touch my face and realize that I'm crying, tears spilling down my face and leaving hot, red trails as they do so. There's a lump in my throat; it hurts to breathe.
Promises don't last forever. And I figured that out too late.
