Mew: Thought I'd write you all something up for the holidays.
Draiku: Truly, though, it was written during October.
Mew: …Yeah, that's true. –sulk-
Disclaimer: Mew Draiku has no right to call Yu-Gi-Oh hers because she doesn't even own it in the first place.
Safety Words
Bakura was walking down the hallways of his and Ryou's home. Currently, Marik and Malik (or as Bakura called them, "The Gruesome Twosome"), were staying while they saved to rent their own apartment. While Bakura passed by Malik's room, he heard some peculiar words.
"Hey, see how sharp this is?" Marik was saying.
"Mm, I like it," Malik replied. There was a pause, in which Bakura heard a zipper being unzipped. "Whoa! That's huge!" Malik exclaimed.
"I know," Marik said, sounding a little proud of himself.
"But what if it doesn't…" Malik started.
"We can make it work. I assure you, the ending result will be amazing. I promise," Marik said. Bakura, to say the least, was slightly disturbed.
"So, let's get started, then," Malik said, giggling a little. A chainsaw suddenly started, and Bakura gasped. He made a noise similar to someone in complete horror.
"AAH!" Malik cried out. The chainsaw stopped.
"I was just kidding," Marik said with an evil-sounding snicker. Malik growled.
"Don't scare me like that! That's taking it a little too far!" he yelled.
"Fine, fine. How about this, then?" Marik said.
"Yeah, that'll work. Here, just hold this for a second. Yeahhh, just like that. Hold onto it just a bit tighter—ah! Perfect!" Malik said, obviously pleased.
"Oh, my god," Bakura whispered, collapsing to the floor and blushing lightly.
"Alright, keep going like that. Remember, we're using green, yellow, and red," Malik said.
"Okay, got it. Be sure to tell me—the goggles are all blurry," Marik replied.
Goggles??! What the hell was that supposed to mean??! Bakura, in shock, cupped a hand over his mouth.
"Hey, hey! What are you doing with those??!" Malik suddenly yelled.
"What does it look like?" Marik replied, a little smugly.
"No, no! That's all wring! Stop, Marik—it's red! Red, you hear me? Red!!" Malik yelled. Bakura heard a crash.
"Sheesh, calm down. It's not that big of a deal," Marik said.
"It is to me!" Malik whined.
"How's this, then?" Marik asked.
"Yeah, that's nice. Green, definitely."
"And now…?"
"Ah…yellow," Malik replied.
"Okay. Almost finished," Marik said.
"Almost finished with what??!" Bakura demanded, slamming open the door. There, standing in front of him were Marik and Malik, fully clothed, and standing over an oddly-shaped piece of wood. Now that Bakura saw it, it looked like a green pine tree with red circles painted on it. Topping the tree was a brightly-colored yellow star.
"This," Malik said, gesturing to the wooden tree. On the table was a tool bag with a zipper on it, and a large paintbrush. "What did you think we were doing?"
"But…I thought…that you two were having BDSM sex!" Bakura yelled. Malik wrinkled his nose.
"I didn't know that you were such a perv," he sneered and briskly walked past him. "Come on, Marik." Bakura was shocked for a second, but coughed to recover himself.
"So, why'd you make this?" he asked Marik.
"Real trees are too messy and fake ones suck," he said. "I'm going to go set this up in the living room. Oh—and thanks for the idea." He winked in a most imp-like fashion at Bakura, and headed downstairs.
Bakura, alone in Malik's room, fainted.
End
Mew: Tee-hee. I made a funny.
Draiku: Oi…that was stupid.
Mew: But funny. Admit it. You thought it was funny.
Draiku: -runs away to avoid answering-
Yoko: Um. Okay then. Anyway, you guys know the drill. R&R!
