Here is my Hetalia stuffs!
PS: Hetalia is not mine, nor are any of the characters
America loved food period.
If you asked him who he would take on as a secret lover he would have immediately said hamburgers, or possibly french fries. Each night he would venture into the vast range of fast food facilities and purchase these fat inducing luxuries.
Although these foods tasted heavenly, they didn't benefit to America's health in any way. Soon after months of happy meals and pizza hut, America became quite fat, excuse me that was rude, he became well rounded. Unfortunately America didn't realize this until one fateful day…
After a full day of lounging around, napping, and playing video games America became very bored and decided he was in desperate need of social interaction.
"GOD, I'M SO FREAKIN' BORED" he wailed in desperate cries.
Then all of a sudden an idea came to him.
"Hey I know, I call up Iggy and see if he wants to hang out!" he loudly exclaimed to himself (very loudly)
America dialed England's number on his iphone and waited for a response.
"Hello, who is this?"
"IT'S YOUR OLD BUDDY AMERICA!"
"Why must you be so horrifically loud?! What do you want anyway?"
"I'm dying of boredom and I need you to entertain me."
After hearing this Britain held the phone away from his ear momentarily his face shown a scarlet hue.
"Hey dude! You there! I was thinking we could go get some grub, just us two dudes! Sounds awesome right? I haven't hung out with my number one buddy in awhile!"
Britain let out a sigh of relief, so he hadn't meant it in that way, yet a little part of him was slightly disappointed.
"Fine you bloody twat, where do you want to go eat?"
"OH, A NEW MCDONALD'S JUST OPENED UP DOWN THE STREET, LET'S HEAD DOWN THERE!"
"No way am I going to eat that horrendous slop. Let's head down to the pub down by my house, the food there is much more adequate in taste."
"Sounds good to me, but I'm not sure the food will be much better. You like have no sense of taste man."
"Oh, shut up! Like you do either! I'll meet you there in twenty minutes don't be late."
"Okey dokey."
And so twenty minutes later Britain headed down to the good ol' pub and waited for America. As he had predicted beforehand America was indeed late. Fifteen minutes passed and Britain was about to leave, until he saw America at the front door of the pub…
"Hey dude, finally made it!"
Britain was in shock. America was huge (excuse me well rounded). America looked like the pillsbury dough boy's long lost twin brother.
"Sorry I'm late man! I ran out of laundry so I had to - what are you staring at?"
"What the bloody hell happened to you?"
"What are you talking about?" Genuine confusion appeared on America's face.
"You're enormous!"
"Oh, I must have put on a few pounds, I haven't been working out that much lately. I've been planning on hitting the gym tomorrow. Do I look a lot bigger dude?" America gave a guilty laugh and a look of worry swept upon his face.
Britain was at a loss for words. A few pounds more like a million, but being the polite gentleman he was he wasn't about to tell America that.
"Oh no, you look fine, maybe you just need to shed a few pounds, but you look perfectly fine. Hehehehehehehehe."
"Phew, Now let's get some grub! Hey waiter can you get me a triple bacon deluxe hamburger with extra cheese!"
Britain gave out a large sigh. America's never ending love for junk food was utterly shocking, but he had to admit, a part of him had admired America's dedication. Now only if he held that same dedication to sensibility, but Britain knew that was never going to happen.
Later that evening, America checked his weight on a scale. A cry of despair, loud enough to shatter glass and pierce all ear drums, echoed throughout the neighborhood that night, a true tragedy that was (not really).
Two weeks later…
America had invited Britain out to lunch again at the same pub as last time. Once again Britain was shocked at what he saw.
America was once again late.
"Where could that twit be?" Britain muttered to himself.
Just after that America blundered through the door of the pub, only this time America was back to his normal weight!
"How did you lose so much weight in only two weeks?!" This was the first thing Britain said to him after quite a while. He didn't exactly display his best manners, he was once again overwhelmed with shock.
"Oh dude I've been working out like crazy! I also started out this new diet! Wanna hear about it?"
"Sure?"
Poor Britain was very confused.
"Instead of eating all my food in solid form, I've been liquefying everything. Yo waiter can I get a burger smoothie!"
To this Britain facepalmed himself. America's crazy diet fads would never end, oh well.
That is the end of our story.
Short Hetalia one-shot! Hoped you enjoyed this! See you later alligators! {-_-}
