Writer's note: I own none of these characters. I only enjoy writing them. Let me know how you find it. this is an A/U Sherlock. they live in Washington D.C.

to talk to me find me on tumblr. my name there is the same as here clarynobleat221bwiththetardis.

this will have several chapters. Chapter 2 will be published tomorrow and then the ones after will be published each friday. and by tomorrow i mean Thursday Jan. 30, 2014 see you then lovelys :)

I WISH I HAD KNOWN:

Almost three years ago Sherlock faked his death. John never thought life would go back to normal, then he found Mary. Slowly John began to settle down and sometimes he would catch himself smiling agian. After just a few short months with her, John decided he would ask Mary to become his wife. This of course was a big step for John. He had never thought he would ever marry anyone. Though the thought had passed through his mind from time to time. Usually about his best friend. John always shook that off by laughing at himself, chalking it up to silly adrenalin from the chase of some criminal.

The night he had picked to ask Mary to marry was intrupted. Everything was planned and set just right. The perfect resturant, the perfect ring, and the perfect wine, thanks to a strange French waiter. Before John could finish the question they were interupted by the silly waiter. Getting flustered John turned to tell the waiter to piss off, only to come face to face with Sherlock. This was almost seven months ago. And now John and Mary were married and headed home for their lovely honeymoon.

Dr. John Watson bounced in his seat nervously next to his wife Mary. The plane had begun it's decent on Ronald Reagan airport in D.C. just moments ago. They were finally home. Just a short drive away sat 221B Baker Street and his best friend Sherlock Holmes. He had been away from Sherlock for two whole months. Of course they had video called and texted but that didn't stop John from missing Sherlock more than he had ever missed anything in his life before.

Once the plane landed John took Mary's hand and rushed them to the baggage claim so they would be first to collect. It took them less than three minutes to grab their bags and get in their car. Breathless Mary turned to John. "We need to take our things home before we rush to Sherlock, ok? I need to change and get the smell of that plane off of me. I'm sure he wont mind."

John checked the time on the dash of the car. It was almost two in the afternoon. They were a few hours late. Their plane had been delayed for roughly two hours. He nodded agreeing with his wife, then started the car and drove off the lot. If she had not been in the car John would have sped but since she was almost four month pregnant, he took his time getting home. Each mile home was another mile between him and Sherlock. The anticipation was killing him, John longed to be back at Baker Street. He longed for the smell of the untiddy apartment and the smell of all the old moldy books on the selves. They finally pulled up to their own apartment. John unloaded the bags and carried them up the short flight of stairs in front, Mary smiled when she saw John rocking on his heels waiting for her to unlock the door to let them in.

The door flew open to the spotless apartment, knowing John wanted to leave very soon she went straight to their room to change and wash her face. John dropped the bags on the bed and changed from his jeans and t-shirt to a pair of clean jeans and a nice plain button up and threw on his sweater, knowing Sherlock loved when he wore them. Once Mary was finished she handed the keys back to John and headed for the door wordlessly. He jumped off the bed and ran after her.

Just minutes after getting in the car, they arrived at 221B Baker Street. John didn't knock when he got there. He never did anymore. He just walked in and headed up the stairs to his friend's apartment. John took a deep breath and opened the door to the living room. Messy as ever of course. What else would it be? John had expected Sherlock to be sitting his is chair reading or at the window playing the violin, but he was no where to be seen. John looked at Mary who only shrugged with pursed lips. He nodded and headed down the stairs alone. He went to Mrs. Hudson's door and knocked. After just a few seconds she opened the door. Her eyes were puffy and rimmed with red. Without a word she hugged John close. He knew right away something was wrong. "What is it? What's happened? Is it Sherlock? Is he alright?" John demanded.

Mrs. Hudson took a deep breath and shook her head. "I have not seen him in several days. He just up and left. No note or call, just walked out with a small bag."

John nodded, he knew what that meant. "Mary! I'm going to see Mycroft look after Mrs. Hudson. I'll be back shortly"

Without another word John headed to the car and sped down the street, turning east to Mycroft's office. The drive would have normally taken about 30 minutes but John was speeding, he made it there in less than ten. Not bothering with any secruity John used Mycroft's employee entrance, it lead directly to his personal lobby. Seated behind the desk was a new blonde, she was pretty but he didn't have time to tell her to get Mycroft for him. John barged into the office and saw Mycroft seated at his desk looking tired. "Where is he, Mycroft!" He looked up slowly.

"I don't know. I cannot find him anywhere. We've looked all over the place."

"That's not good enough and you know it Mycroft!"

"I sugesst Dr. Watson, that you check your tone with me, before I have you removed from my office. Are we clear?"

John cracked his neck and took a slow breath in. "Fine. But were is he? We need to find him. Mrs. Hudson says he left several days ago. Do you mean to tell me that you still haven't found him after that long? No doubt she called you just after he left. Did she not?"

"Of course she did. She always tells me when he leaves. Even though I already know of course." Mycroft stood up and walked around the desk to stand infront of John. He placed a hand on the doctor's shoulder. "I had hoped that once you came home he would come out of whatever hole he has been hiding in. Since your plane landed over an hour ago and there is still word I guess I was wrong. Which is a first, might I remind you."

"Well, then we need to call Molly and Greg. They can help us look for him. I will relax untill he is home. Do you understand me, Mycroft"

"Whole heartedly Dr. Watson. Now get in your car and call Molly. I, myself will call Gregory. We will all meet at Baker Street in one hour."

With that, they both left the office and headed in their respective directions. John pulled out his phone while climbing in the car. He pressed and help speed dial four, the phone rang three times before she answered. "Oh, hello John, how was the flight? Are you just pulling in? How..."

"Molly, shut up and listen ok? Sherlock is gone. Mycroft can't find. We are meet at Baker Street. Be there in one hour," John hung up with no other explination. She would be there of course. She loved Sherlock and would not let him down no matter what. Molly would never let anything happened to that man.

Back at Baker Street, Mary had written down all of Sherlock's known holding house. In total there were 30. She mapped them out and clustered them in groups to hand out to everyone. Molly and Mrs. Hudson would take the upper city, Greg and Mycroft would take the downtown area, and John would take the most commonly visted of them all, which would be in the center of the city. Mary would stay at the apartment to manage the phones and keep everyone updated on the news. Also she would let them know if he returned home. Once everyone had arrived, Mary handed out the slips of paper. "Text me when you check each place I will then mark it off my master list here. If you find him, call me right then. I will then call everyone else and we will meet at the lab. John you will come get me and we will meet the rest there. Now go, there is no time to waste. He has been gone for five days there is no clue on how he is."

Each group had ten places to search. This would take most if not all of the night. Rush hour was just about to begin. It would take almost an hour to get to the first spot for all three groups. Mary sat and waited patiently. She had texted Sherlock mulitiuple times to not only yell at him for running off but also to tell him that John was coming to get him, and to stay where ever he was now. She had given John the most common places Sherlock visits. If anyone was to find Sherlock Holmes it would need to be John.

After several hours of searching each team only had one place left on their list. It was almost two in the morning before Mary's phone rang again, it was Molly. "Any luck, Molls?"

"Sorry, no. He wasn't at the cove. We are headed back. Could you put on some coffee. We will need it"

"Sure thing. Drive safe sweetie"

Mary slouched in John's old chair. She was exhusated. They had been up early to catch a plane that would wind up delayed for over two hours, then sat in the same spot for 16 hours flying home to only find out that her husbands best friend was missing. Now she sat in the empty, dark apartment just hoping for some good news. Two text came in at the same time both said the same: "Not here. Heading back to Baker Street. Need Coffee"

They had been everywhere. And he had been nowhere. They would need a new strategy. Mary made her way to the over cluttered kitchen and started to make some coffee. It was indeed going to be a long night. The last time Sherlock had done this they hadn't known. Of course he said it was for a case and as it turned out he hadn't been lying. It was for a case and it certainly had helped. But this time it was different. Sherlock didn't want to be found and that made this incredibly difficult.

The door swung open, Mary rushed in hoping to see Sherlock standing in the door, only to be dissapointed. Molly was staggering in followed closely by the rest of the searching parties. John went and wrapped his arms around Mary. He was defeated. Greg ran his hands through his salt and pepper hair as he slid on to the couch next to Molly. Mrs. Hudson carried in the coffee and cookies in silently, she sat them on the small table by the windows. Everyone was quite for a long time. They just sat or stood drinking their coffee and sheepishly eating their cookies.

After almost 10 hours of searching and exhuasted each lead, Sherlock's friends had just aobut called it a night. A defeated Greg spoke up "I don't know where else to look. We've been everywhere. I have a search team out now looking for him. We should know someting by morning. Untill then I suggest we all go home and rest. We will need it."

They all agreed quitely. Just as John started turning out the lights he received a text. Without any explination he grabbed his jacket and threw it on as he rushed down the stairs and to his car. John sped off into the early morning light.