This is inspired by Three Days Grace's song, Animal I Have Become. I absolutely adore this song at the moment, and I believe that it goes well with my one-shot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi
I didn't understand why Clare Edwards had fallen in love with me, and yet I had broken it. Was it because every time I would see those deep blue eyes they made me feel like I had to test my control? Possibly, yes. But as you got closer to her, she just seemed so more inviting to lose control.
I wondered if she knew that she had that effect to people, especially me. And then I wonder if I do the same to her.
And yet I failed her request. I kept fighting for my rights at Degrassi. All hell would've broken loose if I hadn't, but she didn't understand.
"If you cannot stop fighting, then I can't live with us." Clare said while we were driving to her house in Morty. My hands gripped the wheel tighter, and I could feel the animal inside of me wanting to come out. Wanting to show her who I was.
"Then we have a problem here." I stated smoothly, looking at her with new devotion. Clare didn't seem to see it though, and didn't seem to see that my mind was finally working up a plot to stay with her. If I didn't have her, then I would be nothing.
"Then we have to go our own ways." She murmured softly, tears falling down her face. I closed my eyes tightly for a second before parking on the side of the highway.
Clare looked at me bewildered as she watched me take the keys out of Morty and put them in my back pocket. "What are you doing?" She asked, somewhat fearful.
I shook my head, pinching the bridge of my nose as I tried to contain myself. She was just so inviting. If only she had a damn clue about it!
I looked into her eyes and regretted it as my will fell out of my grasp and I lost my self control. Before I knew it, I crushed my lips to hers, not even caring where we were. I needed her in order to survive.
Clare still seemed bewildered and felt like she was going to break out of the kiss, but instead she followed my lead. It wasn't a passionate kiss or a gentle one; it was full of urgency and need. Our breathing became heavy as we got more into it, and I could feel her self control fall out of her grasp also, as we were both too caught up into each other.
She let go to look at my eyes, and then she growled, "Take me home." I looked at her, shocked that she had become more like me. I never wished anything like that upon her, yet I was becoming her as she was becoming me. I shook my head, following her wishes. It was silent for most of the ride as my breathing slowed, and as we got to her house she opened the door hastily. I watched her as she shut Morty's door loudly and stomped up the stairs to her house, disappearing in record time.
Now, I was alone. I had showed her the animal I was, and now she wouldn't even look at me. I felt like she regretted even trying to be with me, but after the kiss and the rejection I had fought more often.
Fighting became the way to deal with the pain as Clare lived her daily life, ignoring me in the process. I tried, I gave her what I had, and she didn't want it. I felt stupid for falling for a girl like Clare Edwards, but I couldn't control myself.
But she had to find out. It was me and would always be me. School became harder to cope with as Clare didn't even spare me a glance, and I could feel myself obligated to getting Clare back. She was the only one that I wanted, the only one that made me sane.
Kissing her was better than drugs, better than alcohol. Being without her was worse than anything I could imagine.
"Clare." I breathed as I saw her sitting at a table alone, reading Pride and Prejudice. I rolled my eyes as I saw the book that she was reading, but then I looked at her in frustration.
"What?" She asked, completely calm and collected. I furrowed my brows.
"How can you move on while I am still feeling hung over? And hung over from you?" She laughed lightly, and I had forgotten how much I had missed her laugh.
"You only feel hung over because I haven't been spending time with you; a clean break. And I haven't moved on; I am just committed to not crying over another boy like I had with K.C." She narrowed her eyes as she looked up at me, her eyes expectant of something. "This is for your own good, as well as mine." I could see in her eyes that she meant something deeper, but my brain couldn't function the thought.
"You belong with me, damn it!" I shouted, receiving a few glances from others.
"No I don't." She retorted but in a softer voice. With that, I couldn't help but walk up to where she was and look in her eyes, lost in thought.
"I need you." I corrected, and I saw that she understood what I meant. "Without you, I'd die." She rolled her eyes.
"Yes Edward," She sarcastically said, lightly punching my shoulder. "But it won't work. It's like we're forbidden from being together."
"But you love me, and I love you." I stated with my chin high in the air, and I felt 100 percent positive. She took one of my hands and played with my fingers as she became more nervous.
She then looked up to me and nodded, and said, "You definitely know how to bring out the true animal of others." And with that I crushed my lips to hers once again, feeling the happy-numbness once again and my self control slipping slightly.
