It was the night after Halloween and I was exhausted. I have been worried sick about my children and that has caused me to be up for the past forty-eight hours. Even though Jem had woken up at dawn this morning and ate good for me, I was still worried about how he would handle nighttime. When you're awake you can find things to do so you can take your mind off of what's eating at you; when your lying awake in your bed in the middle of the night is when your demons come out. Jem doesn't really remember much of last night, which is a blessing but who knows what can pop up in your head while you're dreaming?

Jem of course isn't the only one I'm concerned about; Scout can very much recall what happened last night and I think she is the one who is scaring me the most. Again, with daytime she can keep herself busy but...

"Atticus," I heard her whimper from the other room. I immeadiately go to her.

"What is it Scout?"

"Nothing," she says as I flip on the light switch. She was lying in bed crying and yet she was still trying to be strong for me. I hope she can't tell that I'm ready to cry, too. Why did that man have to do this to my children? If he wanted to come after me, he could've. Anyone could hit me with their best shot but leave my children alone. I lie down into bed with her and give her cheek a kiss.

"Everything's all right, sweet," I reassure her as I rub her head.

"I had a bad dream but it's over now," she tells me as her tears keep rolling.

"Yes, it's over," I tell her softly. It kills me to think she thinks she has to be so strong all the time. I understand why she's feeling everything she's feeling.

"I'm okay, Atticus," she says as she wipes her eyes with her sleeve.

"Yes, you're okay," I say as I give her cheek another kiss.

"I can go back to bed, now," she tells me as she rolls away from me.

"Okay," I say as I give her hair one last rub. "Goodnight, sweet."

"Goodnight," Scout says as she drifts off to sleep again. I begin to cry myself as I make my way out the door and onto the porch. The exhaustion, the sadness and fear of my children, the sadness and fear of myself has all become to much to bear. I see Miss Maudie from across the street staring at me as I wipe away my tears. I see her motion for me to come over there and I feel stuck for a minute. I don't want to leave my children but at the same time I could really use someone to talk to. Miss Maudie is too good of company to pass up and I'm at her house before I realize what I'm doing.

"I can only imagine how you feel, Atticus," she says as I take my place beside her. "Are you all right?"

"No," I admit as she puts her arm around me. "I should have been there last night."

"The last thing they needed was to watch their father get attacked."

"I just wish that it could be me in bed with a broken arm rather than Jem. I wish I could be the one having nightmares instead of Scout. I would love to take their pain away from them..."

"I feel horrible for Jem but Scout's really having nightmares?"

"She remembers clearly what happened," I say as I begin to cry again. "My poor babies."

"Poor you," she said, full of emotion now herself. Maudie has known my kids since they were babies and it killed her to see them in pain as much as it killed me. Next to Cal, she has been a great maternal figure for them. "You nor Jem nor Scout deserve what you all just went through."

"Nobody does."

"Well, especially not you and your children. I don't care what that hoity-toity sister of yours says, you are all perfect to me."

"Why aren't you my children's aunt again?" I ask, jokingly.

"Cause I wouldn't marry Jack," she tells me with a playful punch to the arm.

"I know," I said, rubbing the sting out of my arm. She doesn't know how strong she is. "I have to thank you."

"For what?"

"For loving my children like you do."

"What's not to love about them?"

"Are you sure you won't change your mind about Jack?"

"Okay, you can go home now," she says, laughing.

"I think I should..."

"For Christ's sake I was only joking!"

"I know!" I exclaim as I look at my pocket watch. "It's eleven o'clock already."

"You should go get some rest," she tells me as she gets up to give me a hug.

"I'll try," I say as I hug her back. "Goodnight, Maudie. Thank you."

"Don't mention it," she says, breaking away. "I mean it, too. I don't need your sister and Stephanie making up crazy stories as to why we were hugging on my porch late at night!"

"Goodnight, Maudie," I repeat as I make my way down the porch steps. I don't look back but I hear her footsteps walk her back into her house. I take a deep breath before I open the door to mine and I exhale as I find the house quiet. I lock the door as quick as I can and tiptoe into my own room. The house was still silent as I laid down and closed my eyes. Sleeping is about the only vacation I can afford at this time.