AN: Hey! I live! I'm focusing very much on a long story that I will not be posting any of until I'm 100% done with it. But, since that's taking much longer than expected, I decided to share another one shot and tide you guys over until then. This story is very heavily based in real life events. I figured I'd publish it in honor of my second rescue in as many weeks and my third since Thanksgiving.

Dedicated to Sherbet and Gabby Tabby- I loved you even though you were only in my home one night. May you find the best homes possible and lead long, healthy, happy lives!


Daphne pulled her sunglasses off as she pulled into the underground parking garage at the Arrowhead Pond and stuck them in the cup holder of her white, 88 Honda Civic. The car may be old, but it got excellent gas mileage and the hatchback made it easy to haul the bag containing Wild Wing and her hockey gear. Having enough room for her camping excursions was a nice bonus.

There were plenty of parking spaces to choose from at this time of day. Despite knowing most of the arena employees, she wasn't firm on which car belong to who. The old VW Bug belonged to Chuck. Sometimes, she wondered if the equipment manager lived at the Arena. Maybe he stayed in whatever secret part the Ducks lived in…

She mulled over the idea of exactly where the secret entrances to the living quarters of the famous team could be while absentmindedly sliding the violet duffel bag out of her trunk. Something made a dull, metallic sound as the over sized bag hit the pavement. When she turned it over, she found a large chunk had broken off from one of the two wheels on the bottom.

"Damn it." Those bags weren't cheap and she really didn't want to have to buy another. Funds were tight enough as it was between paying for rent and college. Maybe she could figure out a way to replace just the broken wheel? Growling to herself in frustration, she hefted the strap over her shoulder and leaned to the left in an effort to carry it into the arena. It was more awkward than heavy, forcing her to stop several times to readjust the balance.

A flash of white with orange and gray spots darting behind the dumpster along the side of the parking garage caught her attention. That had looked like a cat, a young one. Feeding her own curiosity, she set the bag down and crept up to the green bin as quietly as possible.

Plaintive mews and demanding meows grew louder as she neared the dumpster. She expected to hear the noises of cats, if not silence; the laughter and gentle coaxing of a male voice was a surprise. Rounding the bin, she discovered Duke sitting on the ground with a can of tuna in one hand, holding bits of the pungent fish out to a pack of kittens. The mother cat, an orange and white tabby, sat just out of his reach, eyeballing the fish. She wanted it but was too afraid to come closer and take it.

"Come on," Duke said in a soothing voice, "It's good. I promise. I ain't gonna hurt ya."

Daphne smiled at the unexpected sight. She'd never expected to find Duke of all the ducks sitting behind a dumpster and feeding stray cats. He always seemed like such a ladies man tough guy, more inclined to ignoring wild animals than feeding them.

"I see ya standing there, Daph." His tone of voice never changed and he didn't move.

The adult cat took a tentative step forward, whiskers twitching as she sniffed at the food.

Duck and human held their breath and stayed stone still as she inched her way forward, inch by cautious inch. Snatching the food from his fingertips, she backed away again and ate it at a safe distance.

Two of the kittens came up to Duke's left and tried taking the fish straight from the can.

"Hey!" He laughed and lifted his arm, ignoring the kitten clinging to his wrist in an attempt to bring the food back within reach. "You'll get it."

"Since when do you feed stray cats?"

"Yeah, well, I couldn't just leave them out here to starve." He pulled out a few more chunks of fish and fed them to the kittens crawling on him. A tuxedo kitten with brilliant blue eyes came running out from under the dumpster and pounced on his foot, wrapping its tiny paws around his boot and growling. "Come here," he laughed and stretched out, scooping up the kitten and setting it next to his hip. That one received a bit of food as well.

"What are you going to do with them?"

"Dunno." He pulled a large chunk from the can and held it on his flat finger tips towards the mother again. "Figured I'd come out here and feed 'em every once in a while, make sure they're okay."

"You should probably try to catch them and get them fixed."

"Thought about that. Problem is, Mamma over there's not the trusting type. I can handle the kittens; but, she's still not coming any closer than what you just saw. And, I don't really know how old these guys have to be before they can leave her."

"How many kittens are there?" She made sure to stay still and not frighten the skittish mother. If she ran off, the kittens were sure to follow.

"Five. There were six, but I haven't seen the orange one for the past week. Something musta happened to it."

The corners of her mouth turned down and her brow furrowed in sadness. If only they'd done something sooner.

"We have to catch them and find homes for them. The kittens at least, if not the mother. And we need to get her fixed."

"Kay." He didn't seem bothered by her demands and accepted them as if she always told him what to do. That was really strange. What was up with Duke?

Daphne crouched and held out an open hand, hoping one of the kittens would come to her. A tortoiseshell with an orange stripe down its nose trotted over, tail sticking straight up. She picked up the kitten and held it to her chest, rubbing under its little chin and smiling at the massive purring coming from such a tiny baby.

"It looks like all five are here. And I'm guessing they're at least two months old, if not more."

"Yeah," Duke nodded. "I've been feeding them for the past five weeks and they were already exploring on their own when I found them."

Daphne tucked the kitten into her shirt before pushing open the side door to the dumpster. There were numerous boxes that had been flattened, but they were just out of reach. Not wanting to drop the kitten in the dumpster, she set it back on the ground and half climbed in, balancing on her pelvis and reaching for the boxes.

"Please don't fall in there," Duke called from his seat on the pavement.

"No," she grunted as she stretched for the box and grabbed it, "Worry. I won't." Triumphantly rocking her feet back to the ground, she stood and held up her prize. "Now we have something to put them in."

"What, you're going to take them now?"

"Why not? They're old enough and they're all here. We can get a live trap and go after the mother later today or tomorrow. She'll be easier to catch if we have her babies anyway." Daphne popped the box back into shape and folded the bottom flaps so it would stay open.

"Come here," Duke coaxed the mother again, holding one finger up to warn Daphne to stay back. The mother once again began moving closer to him, eager for the fishy treat on his fingertips. As soon as she pulled the tuna from his hand, Duke grabbed at her, snagging a handful of fur on the back of her neck.

She yowled and twisted, scratching the duck and biting his arm. Duke flinched, but didn't let go until her wild twisting worked the fur he had managed to grab lose. Fast as a slapshot, she was off into the shadows and gone.

"Damn. Didn't think she'd be faster than me." Duke whistled, impressed. The kittens had started to follow, but their little legs were no match for Duke's speed. He grabbed the three Daphne couldn't and added them to her box.

"Wow," she held the lid closed as they tried to escape. "I don't think I've ever seen you move that fast without ice skates on."

"Yeah, I'm pretty quick." He inspected the damage mamma cat had done to his arm. Several feathers were hanging loose, and he pulled them out, dropping them to the ground. She'd managed to scratch down to the skin and it itched. The puncture marks from her bite weren't deep enough to require more treatment than some antiseptic and maybe a loose bandage. "Damn cat," he muttered, mildly annoyed.

They started towards the security door all arena personnel used when Daphne remembered her bag and turned back to get it.

"Relax," Duke jogged over and grabbed her broken duffel bag. "I got it. You take care of the cats."

0000

"Doc?" Duke called out as they entered Dr. Lowe's medical facility. He and Daphne had stopped by Daphne's dressing room to drop off her stuff before taking the kittens around the arena and trying to find homes for them.

"Hello?" The blond came out of her back office, head tilted in curiosity. "Something wrong?"

"Not really." He held up his arm. "Just need some antiseptic."

"Okay. Hang on." She went to the sink and washed her hands before pulling on latex gloves. "What's in the box?"

"Kittens!" Daphne smiled and shifted the box to one hip. "Want one?"

"Nope!" Dr. Lowes inspected Duke's arm. "I've got a dog and my husbands allergic." She prodded at the bite. "What happened?"

"I tried to catch the momma and she bit and scratched me." He would have cleaned it out himself later but Daphne had insisted he get it done right away. The team's medical facility was much closer than going all the way to the infirmary. He'd tried using one of the first aide boxes in the locker room, but Daphne wouldn't leave him alone until he agreed.

"So, this was a wild cat?"

"Behind the dumpster," Daphne spoke up. "She looked pretty wild. I don't think she had rabies."

"Rabies is a real concern," Dr. Lowes agreed. "I'll call one of my colleagues and see if they can get me the shots. Otherwise, you'll need to go to another doctor. If you can catch her and she tests negative for rabies, you don't need the shots. Then again, your body temperature might be too high to incubate the virus. Birds aren't carriers." She released his arm, "This isn't bad, but you were smart to get this cleaned out. Cat Scratch Fever is a real thing and you don't want to mess with it either. The bite doesn't look like it's affected muscle. Go wash it and I'll take a better look."

Daphne sat on one of the round stools at the end of an examination table while waiting. She set the box on the floor and put her feet on top of it to keep the kittens from pushing their way out.

"What's that?" Duke asked while he washed off the crusty blood and Dr. Lowes gathered an antiseptic spray and bandages.

"Rabies? It's a highly infectious disease that's transmitted through saliva. I'm not sure how, or if, it would affect you. Then there's bartonella, the bacteria that causes cat scratch fever. It gives humans anything from a bump and rash where bit or scratched to fever, headache, fatigue, sore throat, swollen lymphnodes…" She began dabbing a clean cloth on the light bleeding his washing had caused before spraying the antiseptic over the area. "In some cases, it can lead to serious illness such as neuroretnitis, osteomyelitis, encephalopathy, or parinaud oculoglandular syndrome. Considering this is on your arm and not near the eyes, we probably don't have to worry about neuroretnitis or parinaud ocloglandualr sundrome."

"Sweetheart, I have no idea what all those words are. If it starts bugging me, I'll let ya know."

"Good enough." She smiled at him and held a folded piece of gauze over the worst spot and wrapped an ace bandage around it. "You can take that off whenever the bleeding stops." If it had been Daphne, she'd have used a band aid. Unfortunately, adhesive bandages didn't work on feathers and he'd have to go around with a bandage that looked much worse than it actually was.

0000

Duke and Daphne walked down the curved hallway leading to the cafeteria. They had decided the best place to find homes for the kittens would be in there, especially since it was almost lunch time and people would begin congregating around the food.

Duke pulled out the tuxedo kitten and set it on his shoulder. After walking back and forth a little, the kitten settled down and perched like a parrot. Smiling to himself, he walked towards the buffet and grabbed a plate while Daphne took a seat at one of the tables.

"Hey, Kari." He looked to the plump woman who was in charge of the kitchen. "Food looks good today."

"Thank— What is that?" Her eyes grew wide at the kitten calmly riding on his shoulder.

"What? There something on my face? Is my eye patch crooked?" He reached up as if to readjust it. "Sorry, I know that's kinda disgusting for people to see."

"No, you big dummy," she teased, one hand on her hip. "That kitten!"

"Oh!" He feigned surprise. "Yeah, been thinking bout having Tanya remove that growth. Kinda annoying."

"Oh, it's adorable." Her voice grew soft and longing. "I wish I could pet it. But you really shouldn't have something like that in here. Not around all the food."

"You want it?"

"What? It's not yours?"

"Nah. Daphne's got four more in the box over there. Found them out in the parking lot. Poor little things need a home." Reaching up, he lifted it off his shoulder and held the black fuzz ball out to her,

"Mew!" it cried pitifully, its voice sad.

"Wait, did I hear a cat?" Brittnei came rushing over. "Ooooh! It's so cute!"

"Here." Duke handed it off to her.

She cuddled the kitten, scratching it between the ears and kissing it.

"Who's a good little kitty?" The Power Player began baby talking and making silly faces. "Yeah! You. You are. Kitty, kitty."

The kitten swatted at her shoulder length, copper hair and tried to climb up to her shoulder. She let it and it started chewing on her hair.

"Oh! Ow!" She tilted her head to the side and pulled the kitten off. "Nails!"

"You want it, it's yours." Duke stepped away and began filling his plate with pasta salad and steamed vegetables.

"Sorry, but I can't. My lease doesn't allow pets. I'd take him in a heartbeat if I could."

0000

They had managed to find a home for two of the kittens over lunch. Unfortunately, that left three still needing someone to look after them.

"I can't take any of 'em," Duke looked at Daphne apologetically. "Not even for the night."

They walked through the arena, hoping to find other unsuspecting people to foist the feline cuteness upon. Wildwing's voice could be heard coming from the player lounge. Wondering who he was talking to, Duke took the tuxedo kitten in there with him.

The white drake sat at one of the chairs, doing an on camera interview with ESPN. From the sound of it, they were going over their prospects of winning the Stanley Cup and how different hockey was on Earth compared to Puckworld.

Puckworld. He really hated that. Why in Yalda's name had they allowed Phil to tell the world they came from somewhere named Puckworld? Stupid, stupid sounding place. What, was the planet flat?

Acting on a whim, he walked behind Wildwing and dumped the kitten over his leader's shoulder and onto his lap.

"What the?!" He jumped up, startled at the sudden appearance of sharp nails digging into his thigh.

The kitten launched off him and ran under the couch.

"Good going, Wing," Duke scolded. "Now we gotta catch him again."

"Cut," the interviewer shouted. "What was that for?"

"Eh, thought you might want to go with the tough hockey player with cute, cuddly animal angle." He bent down by the couch, looking for the kitten. Despite the feline's best efforts, it couldn't escape and he caught it again. "Here." He handed it off to the female reporter.

"Ohhh," her heart and eyes melted at the sight of the blue eye, black kitten with white paws. "What are you going to do with it?"

"Give it to you. Lovely lady such as yourself ought to take real good care of it."

"Um… Okay?" She cuddled the kitten and stared deep into its eyes. "He's got such beautiful eyes. I was actually talking with my husband about getting a pet for the kids."

"You know," Daphne piped up, "Cats do much better in pairs. It gives them someone else to play with when you're not home." She stepped closer and lifted a flap to the box. A long haired, gray kitten and a creamy colored one with gray tail, face, and paws cried loudly, protesting their entrapment in the box and separation from their tuxedo sibling.

"Oh! A Siamese!" The reporter held the tuxedo kitten in one hand and scooped up the Siamese kitten with the other. "I had a seal point Siamese as a kid. She was a total grump, but I loved her anyway."

Wildwing crossed his arms and raised a questioning eyebrow at Duke.

Duke shrugged and turned his attention back to the reporter.

"Tell ya what," he smiled charmingly at her, "I'll go find you a box to keep them in until you can get home."

"I didn't say I'd take them." Her eyes never left the two kittens she held to her chest. The had settled down and were purring loudly, completely relaxed in her hold.

"You didn't have to." He gave Daphne a satisfied nod.

"Actually," she set the box down and took out the gray kitten, "You can use this one. We've only got the one kitten left."

"Okay." She took the box and carefully put the two kittens in it before taking a seat again. "Do you mind if we wrap this up real quick? I'd like to get them food and water."

"Not at all." Wildwing took a seat again. He threw Duke a thankful smile before returning to the business of an interview.

0000

Duke shifted his weight on the couch, trying to find a more comfortable position to sit in. He'd been distinctly uncomfortable for the past few hours. Random crawling sensations danced across his feathers.

Daphne had promised to bring a live trap by tomorrow so they could try catching the mother. It'd taken most of the day, but they had managed to find homes for all but one of the kittens. Daphne had caved in and taken the gray for herself. She'd sworn she was going to keep looking for a home for it, but Duke knew better. She'd end up keeping it.

They had all gathered for their weekly new episode of Voyager. A pile of pizza boxes sat on a table in the center of the gigantic, curved couches. Two liters of Sprite, Coca Cola, and Mellow Yellow stood in orderly regiments behind their junky dinner.

Human sci-fy theories were a constant source of amusement for them. The alien species that were created just for the show and technology were almost laughable.

"Do you think you could build a replicator?" Nosedive asked around a mouthful of pineapple and green pepper pizza.

"Not if you want anything edible," Mallory spoke for the tech.

"You'd probably just punch it into oblivion." Tanya reached for her soda.

"Please don't." Wildwing kept his eyes glued to the screen, trying to focus on the character arc.

The incessant itching kept Duke from focusing on this week's adventure. He scratched at his arm again. Looking down to see if he could find what was causing him such discomfort, he was disappointed to see nothing.

"Hah!" Tanya laughed at how Captain Janeway's habit of putting her hands on her hips was so offensive to the alien culture first introduced in the episode. "They'd probably kill Mallory if she ever ended up on a Tak Tak planet."

"They would not!" Mallory sat up and placed her hands on her hips in pretend offense. "They would know better than to try fighting me if they knew what was good for them."

"If someone's going after Mallory, I'll help!" Nosedive laughed at her indignant expression.

"And I shall protect our teammate from unwanted attacks." Grin looked at Nosedive with a placid expression that could have been taken as sleepy or threatening. Judging by what he had just said, it was probably threatening.

"Was that an attempt at humor?" Duke stood and grabbed another slice.

"Oh, gross!" Nosedive shuddered at the tentacled creature that appeared and kidnapped Neelix from the screen.

"Come on, guys," Wildwing tried speaking over them. "Can you wait until the commercials to start acting stupid?"

"Look who's talking."

Everyone settled down to watch as the plot progressed from Captain Janeway being stung in the neck to her discovery of half the crew in the mess hall. When a gigantic, winged creature burst from Commander Chakotay's neck and flew at her, Wildwing cringed and looked elsewhere.

"Maybe I'm done with this episode…"

A sharp burning pierced the back of Duke's thigh. He swatted at it, shocked at how the pain kept spreading across his leg.

"Ow!" He jumped up, hitting at the spot on his leg again. The pain continued to worsen. "Biru!" Some evil insect had to be trapped between his clothing and his leg. Not wanting to be bit again, or allow it to crawl to a more sensitive place, he did the only logical thing- ripped the pants off.

"Duke!" Mallory frowned and threw a pillow at him. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Whoo-hoo!" Nosedive reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Didn't know we were getting dinner and this kind of a show!" He laughed and threw a couple of bills at Duke, not bothering to check what denomination they were.

"Something bit me!" He stood there, holding his pants and scratching at the back of his leg. "Damn that hurts." He glared at his pants in suspicion. He wasn't about to take a risk that whatever had bit him would get loose, so he grabbed one of the plastic bags from the soda, shoved his pants into it, and tied it shut with the tightest knot he could manage.

Mallory raised an eyebrow at the drake standing there in his briefs before shaking her head and turning back to the TV.

"Duke, put some pants on." Wildwing set his plate next to himself on the couch cushion and stretched to place his cup on the central table.

"I'm not kidding here. Something bit me!"

"Fine," Tanya set her food down and stood. "Come on, I'll take a look."

"Nah," Wildwing wiped the pizza grease off his hands with a napkin and wadded it up before tossing it onto his plate. "I got it. You like this show more than I do."

"Well, you know, I could always just record it."

"Aw, come on, bro! You're going to miss out on whatever's attacking the ship!"

"Yeah, right. And that weird Macrovirus is what bit Duke."

"I don't care what it was as long as it doesn't get me again." Duke walked from the room, not caring that he still hadn't put his pants back on.

0000

Wildwing shook his head and laughed quietly to himself as he inspected the spot Duke had insisted he had been bit. Sure enough, when he brushed aside the feathers, there was a large, red welt.

"At least we know it wasn't in your head."

"I told you!"

"And Tanya swears I act like a baby every time I need to go near the infirmary." He grabbed a tube of itch cream from the cabinet and handed it to Duke. "There. Problem solved."

"I don't know what— Ow!" He slapped at his shoulder blade, digging through his plumage to get at whatever had bitten him.

Wildwing took a look in hopes of finding whatever was causing his friend such discomfort. A small, black speck jumped from the gray back to the white arm. It stood out like an ink blot before jumping again.

"Oh, shit." Wildwing backed away, swatting at the moving spot to get it off himself. "Duke, I think you've got fleas."

"What? No way." He pulled a clean pair of pants on. "How would I have even—" he stopped as the thought jumped to the front of his mind as quickly as the pest had jumped from his back.

"What?"

"The kittens."

"I knew bringing those in here was a bad idea. Now what are we going to do? Fumigating this entire place is going to be a headache."

"Well, sorry! How was I supposed to know doing a good deed would end up giving me all the creepy crawlies!"

Wildwing took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly.

"Fine. I don't know much about fleas. Maybe they're not that hard to get rid of."

0000

Tanya typed away at the keyboard, researching the problem Wildwing and Duke had presented to her. The news wasn't good. Fleas were much harder to kill than she had expected. Stupid Earth pests. The constant above freezing temperatures on this planet might be comfortable for them to live in, but it was also comfortable for insects of all sorts. Biting, invading pests like fleas were one of the worst.

"We have a couple of options on what to do." She leaned back in her chair and spun around to face the others with crossed arms. "The fleas are upstairs in the main arena as well as down here. We can flea bomb the whole place, which will take about a week and will involve us all staying at a hotel for a couple of days while the chemicals do their job."

Wildwing shook his head in the negative. "We can't risk not having access to our weapons and gear if Dragaunus causes trouble."

"Then we either kill them with heat or with cold."

"Cold!" Everyone instantly echoed the choice.

"Cold is below freezing for ten days straight. We'll also have to all shower with pesticidal soap every day during those ten days to make sure there aren't any on us that would cause a new infestation."

"Oh, mother, no!" Nosedive groaned in despair. "Please not more permethrin."

Tanya raised an eyebrow in surprise that he'd actually had to use it. Then again, it shouldn't be a surprise at all. They had probably been absolutely infested with pests after their time in the camps.

"Luckily, no. They do have something like that here, but we can try some other things. I'm still researching what's available that would be safe for us to use."

"What about heat?" Grin asked the question none of them wanted the answer to. Ten days of freezing bliss or an unknown amount of heat. The choice wasn't that difficult to make.

"A hundred and five degrees for four days."

Duke looked at his feet. He knew exactly what answer Wildwing would choose.

"Four days of heat." Wildwing spoke the time and temperature with a finality nobody cared to argue with. Heating everything up would be easier and shorter. It was the logical answer. They would all be miserable.

"Do we still have to use the soap?" Nosedive tried to find a bright spot in the mess.

"Not if we stay in the heat for the full four days."

"Ugh!" Nosedive threw his eyes to the ceiling in frustration. "Roast for four days or shower with stuff that's going to make me itch for a week straight?"

"We don't know the side effects of whatever we'd have to use," Wildwing reminded. "It might not be that bad."

"We could always turn up the heat," Mallory suggested, "Shower, and leave. We'd still have access to our equipment if we needed it, but could take a short vacation somewhere close. Maybe rent a house on the beach."

"I like the way you're thinking," Duke nodded. "Maybe this won't be so bad after all."

"A rest from the troubles of insects and responsibilities would be good for our souls," Grin added.

Wildwing looked each one in the eye before giving the final decree.

"Tanya, find whatever we need to make sure we're pest free. Everyone, get packed. I'll find somewhere for us to stay."


End AN: Honestly, this whole story was just an excuse to give Duke fleas. Hope you enjoyed!