So I was watching the final of the 3 season again when I came up with this idea... It happened in season 4 when Chuck was shot. I love Gossip Girl but I really hated Eva with Chuck as much as I hated Dan with Blair, so here is a fic free of both. I hope you like it :)
Chapter 1
Forget me
When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood's run stale
...
All was numbness. Blurry streets, blurry faces, blurry feelings... and the cold was growing inside of him, strengthening with the pain that slowly was eating him alive until he could only feel... emptiness.
He was only sure about three things in that moment: the disgust that he felt for himself, the desire of disappear from the face of the earth and the fact that he could never ever forget her... how could do it, anyway? She was under his skin, she was etched in fire in his heart, it belonged only to her... but he had crashed hers in so many and painfully ways that he was not worthy of her. He was not worthy of anyone or anything, after all, he was Chuck Bass...
He stumbled and a whore caught him by the arm. He turned to her and she smiled to him, flirtatious. The woman was blonde... he didn't like blondes, but her eyes caught his attention for a brief moments; it were black, like hers. But the whore's eyes were full of interest, smelling his money almost with desperation... Blair had never had those emotions in hers; there were always determination, concentration, schemes, concern, fun, lust, mocks, love... and lately pain, betrayal, desolation, thanks to him.
He snatched his arm from the whore's grab and looked around to the other girls. Petite, yes but she was redheaded. That other one had her same ivory skin but the hair too dark and straight. There was a brunette with beautiful curls but it was too tall, that other brunette was blue-eyed... nobody like her.
Another blonde... too tanned, too curvy... too big boobs, too big nosed, too tacky... Finally he found was he was looking for. A petite brunette with long curls and dark eyes and she smiled to him. She had no dimple or pouty lips but he was drunk enough to see her like Blair... and then she touched his arm, a suggesting smile on her too red lips. He felt nothing and that was what upset him more. He didn't want her, he didn't want a Blair's doppelgänger, he wanted her. He wanted to hold her, to hug her, to kiss her, to cuddle her, he wanted to love her and marry her. He wanted to grow old next to her, to live with her in a house that probably she would decorate, to wake up next to her each morning, preferably with her naked, wrapped in his arms, her head over his heart, to watch her pregnant of his children and have a family with her... If someone had told him when he was sixteen that he would want have a domestic life, with a wife, children and a house, he would have laughed and kicked out that someone, but now, that was exactly what he wanted: a husband-wife life with Blair, nothing else... but he didn't deserve it, and if he couldn't have her, then he didn't want anything.
He kept walking through that filthy and dangerous alley on Prague when two robbers blocked his way. One held his arms from behind immobilizing him even when it was necessary, he didn't put any resistance, he only laughed without happiness as the other man frisked him and told them that he had anything... and it was true. He had nothing left.
But then the robber took the little Harry Winston box from his coat and Chuck's smile faded as his haziness.
"Not that. Let's go to ATM, I'll get the money that you want but not that" he told them trying to release his arms from the man's grab but they didn't understand him and the other man shoved Chuck with a gun, insulting him in Czech. Chuck didn't care and insisted.
"Not that... not that!" Chuck pushed the man trying to reached the box but he couldn't and a shoot rang through the night. Finally Chuck's resistance disappeared and he slipped slowly from robber's grab to the floor.
The man opened the black box and saw a big and dazzling diamond ring, nestled in black velvet; an engagement ring.
He shouted something to his partner and both ran away, leaving a bleeding Chuck lying on the ground.
He started to feel numb again and cold, so much cold... but now he was gratefully. He had lost everything, the ring... her ring, he had lost her, she probably hated him and he couldn't blame her. She was better without him, everyone was better without him. He slowly felt in the unconsciousness, happy because he was freeing her and him from the pain...
Serena opened the door, turned on the lights and let Blair into the room first. They were at Paris, in Cece's house.
A valet carried Blair's Louis Vuitton trunks and suit cases in a neat and tall pile as Serena showed the bathroom to her best friend. The blonde girl would be using the room in front of that one.
They were laughing and chatting excited about the things they were planning to do in Paris when Serena's phone rang. She looked at the screen and frowned; it was Lily.
"It's my mom" she told to Blair confused before picking up the call. Why would she be calling only a few hours later? Blair turned around to her trunks and walked to them, starting to open them to choose a dress to dinner outside.
"Hi mom... why are you...? Wait... what?" when Blair heard the concern in Serena's voice she turned to her friend only to see a horror expression in her face. No, please! Why on her vacations?! She needed so much this break to forget...
"... but Chuck is fine?" Serena's question hit her like a low blow. All her thoughts disappear and her heart started to beat widely. Why she was asking for that basshole...? Did something bad had happened to him?! Why Serena didn't say anything to confirm or not her horrible thoughts of Chuck being... what? Hurt or maybe...? No, maybe not. He was fine. Probably he had only... she didn't know, had an overdose, or had intoxicated with alcohol... and why the hell Serena was only answering with monosyllables and whats?!
"Okay fine... yes. I'll be there" she ended the call and Blair immediately asked:
"What happened?"
Serena looked at her brunette friend in silent, thinking very well hot to answer her.
"B... Chuck was shot. He's in a hospital in Prague and his condition is frail. My mom asked me to..."
But suddenly Blair heard nothing. Chuck... was shot... Chuck her Chuck... no, he was not hers. He deserved it, actually! He... no he didn't. God what if... what if he didn't make it? What if he... if he...? The mere thought of never see him again was horrible and suffocating. Yes, he had hurt her, once again... but she still loved him, that was a fact that she couldn't change and if she lost him forever, she would die... she wouldn't bear it...
"B?"
The girl looked up to Serena and felt something wet on her cheeks... She was crying and she hadn't even noticed it. Her friend was looking at her worried and with sorrow.
"I'm fine... I'm just" Blair's wiped away the tears with her hand without wanting to explain herself. "What did your mother say?"
Serena glanced at her worried again before answer.
"She wants me to head to Prague... to check on Chuck. She's on her way too..."
"Well... let's go" Blair interrupted her, turning around and closing her already opened suitcase.
"Blair... I don't know if it's a good idea..."
"What?!" the girl immediately turned to see her friend as she had gone mad. "Chuck could be dying Serena..."
"I mean... that maybe it's not a good idea that you... you know, go..."
Blair froze on her spot feeling the ache in her heart again. Maybe she was right, maybe she was the last person that Chuck would want there and she wasn't even sure that she wanted to see him again so soon but... he was in danger... he could die. No! He was going to make it! He was going to live and drink more scotch in his suit, sleeping with whores and with time, stalk her again in his limo... Nothing more, nothing less. Everything would be fine, besides she was an adult now, no some child or emotional teenager. She could handle these situations and could handle to see Chuck again. So she held her head up and cooled her eyes.
"I'm not going because I not over him, I'm going because I want to make sure that the basstard is safe and sound, Serena" her friend cocked her eyebrows, obviously not believing her words and Blair get mad.
"I'm going you want it or no, so let's go. We will check on Chuck and once the doctors say he's fine, we'll return here"
What she was doing? Flying to his side just like a lame obsessed girl? Not, or course not! She was only checking on... who? Her ex-boyfriend, her friend...? Both adjectives hurt too much... God, was she was doing?
Blair left the airport with Serena in a cab and they quickly headed to the hospital. Once there, they hurried to a desk, praying for someone there would speak English.
"Hum... hi. My name's Serena Van Der Woodsen, my brother was admitted here earlier, he's Chuck Bass"
Blair sighed with relief when the nurse nodded, understanding what Serena had said and checking something in her computer before answer them.
"Mr. Bass was just stabilized. He's now in the 409 room. Take the elevator to the third floor and ask for the doctor Gischler"
"Thank you" Serena said because Blair's voice was gone. Just stabilized... For how long they tried to stabilized him? If he were not seriously injured why they took so long to stabilized him? Blair's head was spinning out of them control for this questions, her heart squeezed tightly as they stepped out from the elevator and crossed the corridor.
When they found the doctor Serena started to make questions as Blair only stared blank at the door. Chuck was in there... probably unconscious, but she couldn't say he will be fine.
The doctor told them that even when the bullet wound was not really deep or cause severe damage, it could be had sequels, but they couldn't find out until Chuck would wake up.
Gischler told them that they could enter Chuck's room but they couldn't wake him up, he had to do it by himself. Serena looked at her pale friend who was staring anxiously at the door. She could understand what she was feeling, or at least she tried. Blair had never been more confused or scared in her whole life. The possibly of loosing him or seeing him again were freezing her to her core.
"I'm going to call my mom" Serena told Blair and she turned to her, holding back more tears. "If you want... you can enter... I'm mean, I'm sure he won't be awake and..."
Blair nodded and smiled slightly to her friend for her understanding. She was not ready to see Chuck, and least in that state, but she had to and she preferred to do it alone and with him unconsciously, of course.
The girl took the knob and opened the door slowly.
The room was spacious but still was a hospital room. The wallpaper was navy and the moss carpet was muffling her footsteps as she approached to his bed, unable to move away her eyes from him, her hear beats increasing with the beat of the machine behind him.
He was lying on the bed, having an oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth, an intravenous on his arm and his eyes closed. His chest rose and fell slowly even peacefully and she could tell he was sleeping.
How long had it been since the last time she had seen him? How long since she had talk to him?
Never speak to me again! she had yelled at him, after all, he had hurt her. And she wondered how he had ended in a situation like this. Why he had been shot? What he had been doing? Why he had been so careless? Why...? Why she couldn't hate him? Why she was still in love with him? Why the things had to be so complicated?
If she only had been in the Empire State hours ago... if she only had called him saying that Dorota was having the baby, if... But suddenly all stopped. He sighed out loud and opened his eyes.
She was frozen, her heart skipping a painfully beat and her hands started to sweat. What to say? How explain...?
His tired and sleepy eyes looked at her in confusion and curiosity but he didn't say anything, he only looked around and a little frown appeared in his face.
"Where I am?" he asked with hoarse voice but something was not right, Blair sensed. He asked to her that casually, only slightly confused. No shock in his look, or pain, or regret, or recognition...
"In... in the hospital, Chuck" she answered softly and kind... too kind for her like. She mustn't be kind or gentle, she had to be rude, and cold, and merciless. HE HURT ME, HE SLEEP WITH JENNY EFFING HUMPHREY! she told to herself firmly so she could treat Chuck as he deserved even in that state.
But he stared at her really confused and after looking her from head to toes, he frowned again and asked her:
"I'm sorry but... do I know you?"
Chan chan chan... okay okay, so this is the first chap, I hope you had liked it and if you can please review, I would love to know what do you think guys, love you!
